Breaking Down Her Walls
by somebody's secret
Summary: Alexandra Cabot. That's her full name but she asked me to call her Alex, so I do. Her nickname makes her seem more approachable, almost more…friendly. I'm not saying that she's not friendly—well I guess I don't really know because I've never interacted with her much outside of work but she's a mystery to me, a mystery that I would like to solve.
1. Chapter 1

Alexandra Cabot. That's her full name but she asked me to call her Alex, so I do. Her nickname makes her seem more approachable, almost more…friendly. I'm not saying that she's not friendly—well I guess I don't really know because I've never interacted with her much outside of work but she's a mystery to me, a mystery that I would like to solve.

I have been watching her for weeks, trying to figure out something a little more personal about her but everything that I've observed has just led to a dozen more questions. For example, a couple of days ago she answered her phone while I was in her office and immediately lowered her voice and softened up her tone. Hell, I could've sworn that I heard her say 'sweetie' but then again she tried her best to turn away from me while she talked.

Like I said, a mystery. Maybe it was her lover or maybe it was just a family member, like I said, a dozen more questions. Yesterday I walked in on her munching on something that looked like chocolate—a food item that I never thought she would eat considering she always seemed to have a salad on hand. But what do I know? Nothing past those icy blue eyes and smooth blonde locks.

Sometimes she looks honest to god happy but those moments are rare. Most times she looks angry but I'm sure that's just a front, a front hiding something deep down inside of her that she doesn't want anyone to see.

Something that I can't help but want to see.

So I'll continue watching her from afar, admiring, hoping, wishing that maybe one day she'll give me a chance to break down her walls.

* * *

I watch her as she walks into the precinct, confidently, never once swaying in those high but work-appropriate heels. I have no clue how she manages to walk in those heels while wearing such a tight pencil skirt but somehow she seems to do it and she always makes it seem so easy. I'll admit, I tried putting on a skirt and heels a couple of days after I first met her and that's why I had a bruise on my forehead for the next few days… Let's just say that I didn't wear heels any time soon after that.

She walks right past me, her lips creased ever so slightly, keeping her from looking upset. I've noticed that about her. It's rare that she'll smile; maybe she'll smile when she's trying to be polite but she never genuinely smiles. Or least I have yet to see it. It's almost as if she forces herself to curve her lips ever so slightly so that she doesn't look eternally pissed off—which she may very well be considering all the crap she has to put up with on a daily basis.

I glance behind me for a second, just long enough to take a mental picture of her toned calves and shapely rear in her tight little skirt. I don't consider myself an 'animal' but I know when a woman is gorgeous and she's the definition of it. You can look but can't touch, right? When I look back at my desk, I allow my eyes to slip shut for just a few seconds, allowing her image to burn into my mind before I return to my work—she has already distracted me enough as is.

Today. I told myself that today would be the day that I ask her out. But then again, I told myself that yesterday, and the day before, and the day before that…and the list goes on. Every single time she looks at me, her face softens up just a little bit and I forget every single damn thought I once had. So can you really blame me for not asking her out already?

Before I have time to rationalize why I shouldn't ask her out today, she's leaning up against my desk, her ankles crossed as both of her hands settle around the ledge of my desk, perfectly manicured nails tapping against the wood. "Morning Counselor," I manage to say as I look up at her, hoping to hell that she doesn't have _that_ look that makes me lose all rational thought.

Of course when I look up, it's there along with a slightly bemused expression. And then for a split second, I see a flash of pearly white teeth before she holds back her smile. "Evening," She says in response, a single eyebrow raising up before dropping back down.

I stare at her for a few seconds before her word dawns on me. I glance down at my watch, finally realizing that it's almost six at night rather than ten in the morning like I thought it was. "Oh, wow the day sure did fly by," I say, mentally cursing myself for sounding so stupid. No, the day certainly didn't fly by. The day dragged on and on as I tried to force myself to focus instead of thinking of her.

"Well that's good to hear. I wish my days were like that," She casually replies, her eyes roaming over the surface of my desk, probably trying to figure out what exactly I was working on.

"A lot on your mind?" I ask, filling in the gaps of my thoughts. I groan once I realize that my question doesn't make sense in context to our conversation, hoping that she won't notice but it's obvious that she does when she raises her eyebrow once more, her lips curling up just a bit.

"It sure does seem like you've had a long day, Detective," She comments as she tilts her head to the side in such an adorable way that I can't help but smile. I wonder if she knows how cute she looks right now. Her long blonde hair is hanging over her shoulder, her blue eyes glistening from behind those black frame glasses, a single blonde eyebrow raised over the frame. "Olivia?"

I blink a couple of times, widening my eyes in an attempt to force myself to refocus before I look at her again. "Sorry, yeah you know I probably thought it was tomorrow morning rather than this morning. I guess this day has been dragging on more than I realized," I tell her, not quite convincing myself but maybe it would convince her.

"If only it were tomorrow morning," She says softly as she looks up and sighs before continuing, "We'd both be in bed, enjoying a relaxing day."

My eyes narrow in confusion as my heart pounds against my chest. My mind is swarmed with images of Alex in my bed, with clothes, without clothes, sweaty, sleeping, hell I don't care as long as I'm there with her. I can feel my pulse quicken as every thought flies through my mind and my face heats up. "What?" I managed to croak out, trying to figure out why exactly she thought we'd be in bed together tomorrow morning.

"You don't have work, do you?" She questions in confusion. "It is Saturday after all. I like to stay in bed at least until nine but that never really seems to happen with New York traffic waking me up, even on Sundays."

Well that makes a lot more sense. She's imagining us both in our respective beds and not together… "Oh," I manage to say as I drop my gaze to my desk, hoping that she can't read my mind. I can feel my cheeks still burning from embarrassment, more so now than before.

"Do you?" She asks and again I'm lost.

"What?"

"Do you have work tomorrow?" She clarifies, that perplexed look still on her face as she eyes me up curiously, trying to get read on me.

"No," I reply as I shake my head, both in response to her question and in an attempt to clear my fluster and hide all traces of embarrassment from my face.

"Well that's good," She replies as she offers up one of those fake smiles. "Do you have any plans?"

"Plans, uh no. Just sleeping with you," I respond, a blush immediately creeping onto my cheeks before my words echo in my ears. "Like you! Just sleeping like you," I mutter as I shake my head, trying to hide my red cheeks. "Sorry, I'm really tired and I have no clue what I'm even saying."

When I look up, she's smiling at me, a small hint of white between her lips as she tries to hold back her grin. I never understood why she always insisted on keeping her lips together when she smiled. I could only imagine how beautiful she'd look if she smiled sincerely. "Well then I'll let you go home," She states as she pushes herself off of my desk and brushes out the invisible wrinkles on her skirt. "I'll see you tomorrow."

She's about halfway down the hall before I realize what she just said. "We don't have work tomorrow," I call out, smirking at her backside until she turns around to look at me.

"Oops," She replies, her lips curling up on the sides before she turns away and leaves the precinct, not another word coming from her. I continue staring at the wall that she disappeared behind, wondering if she accidentally said that or not. She certainly is a mystery.


	2. Chapter 2

I can feel the pavement pounding beneath me as I fly through Central Park, everything a blur. I can't hear anything; my ears have since filled up with nothing but distracting music and my breathing, harsh and ragged. Normally I run for about half an hour, just enough to keep me in shape so that I can chase down a perp but for some reason today I felt the need to run and keep running; maybe it had something to do with Alex. I round another corner, pass a bench, and even a few birds but not a single person. Probably because it's six in the morning on a Saturday.

I laugh to myself as I think about my morning so far. I woke up a little after five from my drunk neighbor pounding on my door before he found the proper door. And just when I thought I was going to fall asleep again, a car alarm went off, waking me up for good. A cup of coffee later and I was out the door in a pair of shorts and whatever shirt didn't seem too dirty since I had failed to do laundry yet again the previous week.

I round another corner, completely lost in my thoughts until I see a flash of something white cross behind me. I turn to the side, attempting to see what exactly it was but I can't see anyone to the side of me. I ignore it and push on, covertly turning down the volume to my headphones so that I can hear my own footsteps. I continue on my path, immediately recognizing the sound of another pair of feet lightly padding behind me.

Years of experience at SVU kicks in and I glance ahead, trying to find a path to lead me out to a main street so that I'm no longer in such a secluded spot in the park. Of course it's useless because no one else is out so I cut across a field, the sound of wet grass squishing behind me. I push myself faster, dodging a tree before I double-back slightly on another path. I glance back once more, a flash of white again confirming that someone is still following me.

My heart rate picks up as I cut through the grass again, intent on finding a bush for some cover. I have no idea who is following me but it wouldn't be the first time that I've been stalked and targeted. I spot a large enough bush and pick up my pace, running around it and immediately stopping. A few seconds later, a figure runs by and I jump out, lunging at my stalker.

We both tumble to the ground, me on top. I waste little time in pinning their hands above their head. "NYPD, why are you following—" I suddenly lose my train of thought as I look down into wide blue eyes and a gaping mouth.

"Hi," Alex says almost hesitantly as she offers up a sheepish grin.

I stare at her in confusion, entirely unsure as to how I wound up on top of Alex Cabot, my coworker. Oh dear god, did I really just tackle her? For a brief second, I hope that this is all a dream but if it was, neither of us would be wearing any clothes and we'd be on a bed rather than wet grass. I can feel her body moving ever so slightly underneath mine as she tries to pick up her knees so that she can get off the ground but I'm still holding her down. "What are you doing here?"

"I always jog in Central Park in the mornings," She tells me as she shrugs against the ground. "I saw you and I decided I'd see if I could keep up with you when you didn't respond to me calling your name. I guess I shouldn't stalk a detective," She replies as she chuckles softly, moving her wrists against my hands. "Liv?"

"Yeah?" I ask, letting her explanation soak in. I'm desperately trying to figure out when she started following me and how I didn't realize it. Well, the music would explain it but I should know better than to listen to music that loudly while out alone.

"Do you think you could let go of me? The grass is kind of wet," She says as she glances to the side, looking at the thin sheet of dew covering the grass. I follow her gaze before I jump up off of her, holding out a hand in order to pull her up as I apologize profusely. "It's fine," She assures me as she runs her hands along her back, trying to get rid of any excess grass or water.

"Here," I tell her as I turn her around so that I can see what damage I caused. Her white t-shirt now has grass stains all along it and is thoroughly saturated with water. I can see the outline of her blue sports bra and I force my eyes away. "You're pretty wet." I brush across the wet surface, removing the last of the grass sticking to her shirt.

"Yeah, I can feel it," She chuckles as she shivers slightly, crossing her arms over her chest. "The grass certainly is cold." I instinctively reach for my nonexistent jacket to offer her it before dropping my hands to my side.

"I take it your workout is done then, sorry," I tell her as I offer her an apologetic smile.

"It's about time I head back anyway." She shrugs, probably trying to assuage my guilt. I nod in response and decide that I should call quits as well before my muscles give up on me.

"Same. I guess you weren't wrong when you said you'd see me today," I tell her, grinning as I wait for her reaction but she simply smirks in response and did she just wink at me? I'm still staring at her in confusion when something white covers her face before I see those clear blue eyes once more. I catch sight of her t-shirt which is now bunched up in her hands before looking at her exposed torso only covered by a tight sports bra.

I hear her voice clear softly and I somehow manage to pull up my eyes so that I'm looking at her rather than her nipples which are visible through the thin material of her sports bra since she is cold. "I'll see you Monday, Detective. Try not to tackle anyone else in the meantime," She flashes me a grin before turning away.

"Wait!" I call out as I jog a few steps to catch up to her. "Let me walk you home." She raises an eyebrow as she looks at me. "It's still pretty early and you never know who is out."

"I jog here every morning," She replies as she nods her head to the side, leading me out of the park despite her protests.

"Yeah but I don't think you jog…" She turns to me as we walk, a peculiar look on her face.  
"…dressed like _that_ ," I tell her before grimacing at my choice of words. At least I didn't look down at her chest again; I deserve some credit for that especially since her arms are crossed over her chest, propping up her breasts even more prominently.

"Like…?" She asks, letting her sentence trail off as she looks down at her chest and then back to me. "Without a shirt?"

"Yeah," I mutter as I close my eyes for a brief moment before following her out of the park. "I'm sorry, that was rude."

"It's fine," She immediately interrupts as she drops her arms from her chest and grabs onto me, pulling me to the left. "I don't normally run without a shirt because it makes me feel exposed and uncomfortable but I really don't want to be wearing a wet shirt right now."

"Again, sorry about that," I apologize as she shakes her head, pulling me down the street.

"And again, it's fine," She replies. "I shouldn't have been following you without alerting you of my presence first. Don't worry, I learned my lesson." We both laugh at her comment before easily falling into conversation as we walk down the street.

Within minutes, we're outside of a large apartment complex and I raise an eyebrow as she walks toward it. "What?" She questions as she looks at me curiously.

"You live here?" I ask incredulously. The complex is modest and certainly not located in some fancy high class area like I had expected. Alex reeked of old money and yet she lived rather close to me.

"I do. Is something wrong?"

"No, no of course not," I tell her as I shake my head. "It's just that I live a short ten minute walk from here."

"I know," She replies back nonchalantly as she walks toward the door. "Since you live so close, why don't you come by in an hour and we can get breakfast together? If you're not too tired that is," She says, a teasing tone coming out with her last sentence. She looks at me for a few seconds before turning around and I don't even have time to respond before she opens up the door. "See you soon!"

I'm still standing outside of her apartment complex dumbstruck as I stare at her door. How does she know where I live? And did she just ask me out? Is this a date? My eyes widen as I glance down the street and back to her apartment complex, suddenly aware of how sweaty I am. I waste no more time in contemplating what the heck just happened and instead head back for my apartment, intent on taking a hot shower and putting on something a little nicer than shorts and my old college shirt…


	3. Chapter 3

An hour and two dozen shirts later, I'm finally dressed in a simple black v-neck and dark blue jeans. I snag my leather jacket on the way out, slipping into it as I walk down the now busy streets. It only take me five minutes, probably because I'm far too eager, to get to Alex's apartment complex and it's only then that I realize I have no idea which apartment number she lives in. I stare at the building for a few seconds, looking up at all the floors before deciding that the doorman might be my best bet. I consider flashing my badge when he raises an eyebrow when I ask where Alexandra Cabot lives but he tells me what floor and apartment number without any questions.

It takes me mere minutes to get up to her floor and I hesitantly knock on her door, suddenly hoping that she was being serious when she asked me to swing by in an hour. My face immediately starts to heat up as I replay what she said to me, hoping that she did actually tell me to meet her here. Before I have any more time to internally freak out, the door opens up and I'm left speechless.

Before me stands Alex, not Alexandra Cabot, the ADA that I work with. That's the only way that I can think of describing her right now since I seem to be at a loss for words. Her long blonde hair is down and still slightly damp, framing her gorgeous face. She's wearing those damn black framed glasses which make her bright blue eyes seem even more prominent. Her eyes seem even more brilliant than usual, the darker flecks of blue in them standing out against her dark blue sweater. Much like me, she's in a pair of blue jeans except she's barefoot, her nails painted a bright red which I certainly didn't expect. God, she's absolutely stunning.

"Come on in," She says as her hands return to her ear, quickly putting a small diamond earring in place. "I should be ready in just a minute," She explains as she puts in her other earring before walking deeper into her apartment, headed toward the back. "Feel free to explore or sit down!" She calls back before slipping out of sight.

I stand at her door, taking in her apartment as my eyes roam around every inch of the interior. The place is simple, the design modern. From what I can see, everything has a pretty neutral color and there aren't many personal photos besides two on her coffee table surrounded by a bunch of magazines and books. I walk over to the table, plucking off the first book that I can find and looking over the description before setting it back down. I take a moment to glimpse at the picture frames, too nervous to blatantly stare at them in case she comes back in this room.

There's a picture of her surrounded by children, one hanging around her neck, a couple trying to climb into her lap, and the rest surrounding her with huge, goofy grins. The other is a black and white photo of a man and a woman both dressed to the nines. They both have straight faces, nearly solemn. I almost don't notice the small little girl standing off to the side of the man, partially hidden behind his legs. There's no doubt in my mind that the smiling little girl with short, light hair is Alex, probably around two years old.

"Okay, I'm ready. Sorry for the delay," Alex says as she enters back into the living room, giving me just enough warning with her voice so that I can straighten up and turn toward her.

"No worries, I arrived a bit early," I reply as I walk over to the door with her.

I open it up and she's about to walk out when she pauses and laughs softly. "Shoes," She mumbles as she shakes her head and turns around. "I probably need shoes." She grabs a pair of flats and quickly slips them on, a slight blush on her cheeks.

"Those are pretty important especially considering the streets around here," I tell her as I let her exit the apartment first, pulling the door closed behind me and moving out of the way so that she can lock it.

"Awh, you mean you weren't going to carry me around?" She teases as we walk down the hallway to the elevator.

"Oh I still can," I quip as we step into the lift and she presses the button for the first floor.

She smiles at me deviously as she pretends to take off her flats. I chuckle and shake my head in response, taking a step closer to her and wrapping my arm around her back and acting as if I'm going to pick her up from under her knees. "Olivia!" She yelps out as she grabs onto my shoulders. "Don't actually carry me, I'm heavy!"

I roll my eyes in response as I straighten up. "Yeah right. If I had a dog, it'd probably weigh more than you," I tease as the elevator stops on the third floor and the doors open. A man is about to step into the elevator but pauses, smiling as he steps back and allows the doors to close once more.

"I'm pretty sure I weigh more than most dogs," She replies as she glares at me. "I'm not exactly easy to pick up." I can't help but smirk as I look at her, my eyes trailing down her body to evaluate her while secretly checking her out. Her eyes widen as I take a step closer to her. "Don't you dare!" She quickly backs up against the wall, making it easier for me to pick her up.

It only takes a second for me to hoist her into the air, her hands clinging to my shoulders as she tries not to fall despite my secure hold around her back and under her legs. I simply enjoy the feeling of her in my arms, knowing full well that this was never going to happen again. "Olivia, put me down!" She tries to say seriously but she's actually trying her best not to laugh. I finally set her down smirking.

"It's an ego thing," I tell her as I shrug. "You can't just question by strength and expect me not to prove it."

"Most people use their words," She teases as the elevator doors finally open and we step out and head out to the street.

"Okay, maybe it's a cop thing," I reply as I open up the front door for her since the doorman is otherwise preoccupied with a large group entering the complex.

"Remind me never to question Elliot's strength," She mutters as she shakes her head while we walk down the street, side by side.

"But questioning my strength is okay?" I ask, pretending to be shocked.

She merely smiles at me, one of her blue eyes shutting as she winks at me. "Yeah," She replies. Her voice gets quiet and she mumbles something that sounds like 'especially if it results in that.' I brush it off, figuring that my mind is making me hear all the things I would love to hear her say.

It doesn't take long for us to arrive at a smaller café down the street from her apartment. We settle down in the back and peruse the menu, making small talk about our day so far. "So what's good here?" I ask as I look through all the amazing options. I hate to admit it but breakfast is one of my favorite meals because there are so many options.

She tips her menu down, resting it against the table as she looks at me, a small smile appearing on her lips as she tilts her head, as if she is evaluating me. "Their omelets are really good. They put a ton of bacon in their bacon omelets." Her response causes me to grin; I wonder if she knows how much I love bacon.

"I think you made my decision for me," I reply as I close my menu, sliding it forward. She does the same, copying my motions before taking a sip of her water. "What are you getting?"

"Pancakes," She responds simply, surprising me with her response. She looks at me curiously. "What?"

"I can't say I pinned you as a pancake person," I reply with a shrug.

She chuckles softly as she traces a single finger along the condensation on the outside of her water glass. She peers up at me from behind those black frame glasses that make my heart beat faster. "I guess there's a lot you don't know about me."

"Like the fact that you jog the same path through Central Park as I do?" I ask, raising an eyebrow.

"And that fact that we live ten minutes apart."

"So tell me, what else don't I know about you?" I ask, a smile residing on my face. I didn't think we'd be able to fall into such easy conversation. She's about to speak when a waiter comes up and we take a moment to order.

"I don't know," She replies as she looks up at me. "What do you want to know?"

"Favorite color?"

"Blue," She replies simply only to receive a raised eyebrow from me. "My bedroom as a child was always a neutral cream color because my parents thought it looked more profession but one of my friends had a blue room. I really wanted a blue room so one day I took all my blue crayons and colored pencils and recolored my walls."

"You didn't!" I exclaim as I start laughing. I could just picture that smiling little blonde running around her bedroom with blue crayons. I could only imagine how angry her parents were.

"I did," She replies sheepishly. "It lasted about one day before my parents saw it and brought someone in to clean it off and repaint the walls."

"You must've been quite the handful as a kid," I tell her as I shake my head. Seeing this side of her was definitely something new. "Alright, favorite animal?"

"First you have to answer. It's only fair," She states as she waits for my response.

"Uh, yellow I guess. Animal?"

"You have to explain why," She says as she pushes me once more, waiting for my answer.

"It's just a really happy color," I reply with a shrug. I'm not really a fan of talking about my personal life but I don't mind that much with her. She nods in response, letting it go for the moment.

"For animals, probably a polar bear. I had a stuffed polar bear since before I could remember. How about you?"

"Uh, grey wolf. They just seem so strong," I reply, not really sure how to explain it. "Do you still have your stuffed polar bear?"

"Grey wolves are a sign of fear and respect," She states to no one in particular. She shakes it off, looking up at me with a blush on her cheeks. "Maybe."

I laugh in response to her reaction. "You still sleep with it, don't you?"

"No!" She counters as she shakes her head, her blush furthering. "He migrated to my closet when my first significant other laughed at me."

"Awh," I reply, trying to figure out how young Alex must've been during her first relationship. "I think it's cute. His loss." She looks up at me as if she's going to say something but instead bites her lip. "Okay, favorite comfort food?"

"Ice cream," She replies right as our meals are placed in front of us. We both thank the waiter before turning back to our conversation.

"What kind?"

"Virtually anything by Ben and Jerry's," She explains with a grin as she digs into her pancakes. "You?"

"Probably pasta. After a tough case I like to make a huge bowl of it and just curl up on the couch and eat until I feel sick. Then I normally just crash on the couch," I explain, suddenly remembering the leftover pasta that's still in my fridge from when I did that a few days prior. "How are your pancakes?"

"They're delicious," She replies as she cuts up another piece. "Banana and pecan. Want to try some?" She asks as she gestures to the piece she just cut up.

"No, it's okay. I don't want to steal your food," I tell her as I watch her take another bite of her pancakes. I wouldn't mind being her fork… damn it Benson, stop.

She rolls her eyes as she finishes chewing. "Here give me your fork," She says as she reaches out, holding her hand open for it. "Come on!" I finally give in, handing her my fork. She cuts up a piece of her pancakes and hands my fork back to me.

I take the offered pancakes and try them, surprised at how good they taste. "These are good, thank you," I tell her as I reach out my hand. "Your fork."

"What?" She asks as she looks at me curiously.

"Come on, I saw you eyeing my bacon," I tell her and she laughs softly in response, handing me her fork. I cut up a piece of my omelet, specifically grabbing a piece with a lot of bacon before handing it back to her.

"Thank you," She replies as she takes the bite, moaning softly in response. "I don't think you realize how much I like bacon."

"Oh I think that moan showed me just how much you liked it," I reply with a chuckle, causing her to blush furiously.

She shakes her head, trying to rid the blush on her cheeks. "For all you know I could've just faked the moan to make you happy," She replies back with a grin as she reaches for her cold water, taking a long sip.

"For your sake, I really hope you didn't have to learn how to fake a moan just to please people," I reply without really thinking about what I'm saying. Her eyes widen as she drops her cup back against the table with a thud, immediately covering her mouth with one hand as she tries not to laugh. She grabs onto a napkin with her spare hand and covers her mouth, shaking her head at me.

"Shame on you, Detective Benson," Alex finally manages to say as she sets down her napkin, satisfied that she isn't going to spew water everywhere.

"What?" I ask innocently, trying to curb my own fluster. I hadn't meant for that statement to sound as dirty as it did.

"Usually they wine and dine me before bringing up sex," She teases as she shakes her head, still laughing at my comment.

"I didn't mean it like that!" I reply defensively, finding it hard to keep a straight face as I try to explain myself. "I just meant…"

"It's okay," She interrupts as she looks down at her plate with a grin. "I'm pretty sure most women have learned how to fake it at one point or another."

"Now you made it dirty!" I argue as I try to control my laugher. I resign to laughing out loud, shaking my head at the side of Alex I have never seen before. She is certainly something else.

"What?" She asks almost innocently as she toys with her straw before taking another sip of water. "Are you telling me that you've never faked it?"

"Are you telling me that you have?" I shoot back, earning a slight blush.

"Yes," She replies as she finally looks back up at me. My eyes widen in response and she rolls her eyes. "First relationship for them, not for me. It didn't bode too well," She replies with a shrug. "Are you actually sticking with the story that you've never faked it?"

"Oh that poor boy," I reply shaking my head. "I wonder if his current girlfriend is faking it as well since you convinced him that he was good!" I tease her.

She chuckles softly as she looks back down at the table, fiddling with her straw once more. "I'm pretty sure she is much more experienced in bed now," She replies as she slowly looks up. I quickly shut my gaping mouth, trying my best not to look too shocked. "Considering she's been married to her wife for three years."

"Cassidy," I state, causing her to look at me curiously, no longer looking at me with concern. "That was one drunk mess and I did fake it with him. Along with virtually every boyfriend I've ever had. Although I can't say that I've ever had to fake it with a woman."

She noticeably eases up, leaning back in her chair slightly as she eyes me up. "And here I thought Cassidy was just a rumor!" She exclaims, both of us ignoring the fact that we just told each other that we both like women.

"Unfortunately that actually happened," I admit with a shake of the head. "Any other rumors that I should confirm or deny?" I ask, giving her a chance to get to know me a little better.

"Elliot?"

"Absolutely not. Never have and never will especially since he's married," I reply without hesitation. I've had this question asked way too many times, even by Kathy. "I'm not a homewrecker."

"I figured that was just a rumor," She replies without questioning my answer. "Abigail Carmichael?"

My eyes widen at the mention of the familiar name. "You know her?" She nods in response, waiting for me to continue. I bite my lip, wondering if this was going to come back and bite me in the ass. "Once after a case when we were both too drunk to know what we were doing," I admit, trying to gauge her response.

"Oh gosh," She mumbles as she covers her face, laughing softly.

"What?" I question, a blush rising on my cheeks.

"We both slept with Abbie," She mumbles, finally uncovering her face. I burst out into laughter, her shortly following me. Once we're finally able to control ourselves, we reluctantly decide to head out. I manage to convince her to let me pay the bill in return for ruining her jog and t-shirt this morning.

"Thank you for breakfast," She says with a smile, a look that is quickly becoming my favorite from her.

"It was the least I could do for ruining your jog. I had a nice time talking with you," I tell her, still internally laughing about Abbie. "Thanks for inviting me out."

"Of course," She replies as she looks at me for a second longer before taking a step away. "See you Monday, Detective!" She calls as she strides over to her apartment door, waving before she slips into the building. I stand on the sidewalk for a few more seconds, grinning like an idiot. So I didn't ask her out but I did end up on a date with her anyway. Wait, was this even a date? Probably not. Close enough. Maybe I'll ask her out Monday.


	4. Chapter 4

When I walk into her office, she's leaning back in her chair, both of her hands holding her hair back, her eyes closed. I'm frozen for a moment, simply staring at her. She's wearing her black frame glasses which are perched high on her nose, her jaw is prominently displayed, barring the majority of her long, pale neck. I almost don't want to interrupt her. "Alex?" I whisper softly, pushing the door open a bit more, causing it to creak.

Her head immediately snaps down and she opens up her eyes, dropping her hair around her shoulders as she looks at me. "Olivia, hi," She says as she runs a hand through her hair, straightening it out before smiling at me almost sheepishly.

"You look tired," I reply, wondering if coming here was a bad idea. There was no way that she'd want to come over for drinks tonight.

She hums softly as she purses her lips, plucking off her glasses and rubbing her eyes. "That obvious?" She mumbles as she shakes off her sleepiness and puts her glasses back on.

"I can't say I've ever seen you trying to sleep in the office. Might I suggest the couch next time?" She chuckles softly in response. "You should go home. Whatever work you have can wait until tomorrow."

She glances down at her wrist, checking the time before looking back to her desk. "I think I'll do that," She states as she pushes her files into a pile and moves it to the side. "You came by here for a reason," She suddenly states as she looks back up at me. "Sorry, did you need something?"

"Uh, no," I reply, deciding that another day would be better. She's obviously very tired. She raises an eyebrow at me, not giving up. "I was just going to ask if you wanted to get a drink but you're obviously tired so maybe another—"

"I would love to," She cuts me off, surprising me. "If the offer still stands that is," She corrects as she looks up at me curiously.

"Uh, yeah. I was just going to invite you back to my apartment but we can go somewhere near your place so you don't have to take a cab home."

"Your place sounds fine," She replies as she stands up from her desk, rearranging a few things before grabbing her blazer from the back of her chair. "I'm only a ten minute walk from there anyway."

"Are you sure?" I ask, surprised that she agreed to have a drink with me so easily.

"Yeah, it sounds like a nice way to relax. I'm mainly tired from going over case files and as much as I'd love to sleep, I'd much rather drink some nice wine and unwind with a friend." I smile at her use of the word friend, escorting her out of the DA's building.

It doesn't take long for us to arrive at my apartment and settle in the kitchen. I pull out my best wine for her, hoping that it tastes decent since I'm not much of a fan of wine. She hums softly in approval as she swirls the red liquid around in her glass before taking a sip. "Thanks."

"Of course," I reply as I set down the bottle of wine and grab myself a beer, hoping that she won't mind. "Would you like to watch something?" I question, popping the cap off of my beer before tossing it.

"Sure," She replies as she follows me out into my living room. She sits down on the couch, kicking off her heels before curling her feet up underneath her legs. I smile at the gesture, a small feeling of relief washing over me that she feels comfortable enough to do this with me. I turn on the TV, flipping through the channels before we settle on some show about animals, not really sure what else to watch.

"So what made you so exhausted today?" I ask her, glancing over at her.

She turns back to me, running a hand through her hair, fluffing it before dropping it back down. "Incompetent defense lawyers and judges threatening to throw me in jail for contempt," She states with a shake of her head. "Let's just say it was a long and nothing seemed to be going my way until tonight."

"But aren't defense lawyers always incompetent?" I tease, earning me a small grin. I try not to put too much stock in her last sentence, knowing that she could just be referring to getting off of work and drinking wine.

"Pretty much," She mutters as she rolls her eyes. "God, one of them even had the audacity to ask me out after I convicted his client."

"Wow, I give him props for asking you out though. What'd you say to him?" I question, leaning up against the back of the couch so that I can look at her since the TV show isn't nearly as interesting as her.

"I just rolled my eyes at him and told him it would be a cold day in hell before I even considered going out with him. Of course, he took that as a joke and asked me if I liked Italian."

I chuckle in response, reclining further against the arm of my couch. "Once I had a guy that I arrested ask me out as I threw him in the back of a squad car."

"Are you serious?" She questions as she straightens up, looking at me in surprise.

"Yup. He was one of those who liked the cuffs. Even asked me if I liked using them in the bedroom," I tell her, rolling my eyes as I run a hand through my hair.

"Wow, very forward," She says, leaving us in silence for a few seconds. After a few beats she asks, "What'd you tell him?"

I laugh at her question, raising an eyebrow. "You seem a little curious, Counselor."

"It's an interesting question," She replies with a shrug. "I've always been curious if cops are more inclined to use handcuffs in the bedroom than the average person. I can tell you that I've never used my briefcase in the bedroom."

I laugh at her response, taking the few spare seconds to decide whether or not I'm going to be honest with her. "Personally, I was never really inclined to use handcuffs on any of my partners although I did have a few that requested it. A little piece of advice? If you ever get curious, use scarves instead of handcuffs unless you're incredibly skilled at staying still. The marks are next to impossible to cover up."

"I'll keep that in mind," She replies with a grin as she shakes her head. "I take it that's from experience?" I nod in response as she laughs at me. We fall into a comfortable silence, returning our attention to the TV, or at least she returns her attention to the TV; I take the opportunity to chance a glance at her as often as I could.

Two beers and three wine glasses later, we're both reclining on the couch rather relaxed. She's spread out, one elbow against the arm of my couch as she props up her head while her feet are almost touching my legs. I'm leaning back against the cushion, my feet propped up on my coffee table. I can see her head slowly nodding before straightening up as if she was trying to stay awake. She had discarded her glasses a few minutes prior but she's still watching the TV intently even though nothing interesting is on.

After a few more minutes of silence, I turn off the TV, looking over at her but she doesn't move. "Alex?" I whisper softly as I drop my feet down to the floor and lean forward, trying to get a better look at her. Her eyes are closed and her hair ruffled from her hand. I smile as I debate whether or not I should wake her. Technically we both have work in the morning but I know for a fact that she doesn't have court tomorrow so she could arrive late and no one would really care.

I decide against waking her, instead I quietly pick up my most recent bottle of beer and remove her wine glass from the coffee table. I set them both in the kitchen, trying my best not to make any noise before I slip into my bedroom. I steal a pillow off of my bed and the blanket that remains at the foot of my bed and return to the living room.

She has since slipped down slightly, her head now awkwardly leaning against the arm of the couch. I pick up her glasses and set them to the side before unfolding the blanket and gently draping it over her body. She moans softly in response, her body unconsciously stretching out more on my couch. I take this moment to slip my hand under her head, running over her smooth locks. I pick up her head just enough so that I can slip a pillow under her head so that her neck won't hurt in the morning.

I take the opportunity to watch her for a second as she snuggles closer against the pillow, inhaling deeply before she becomes motionless once more. I check my front door, making sure it's locking before I return to my bedroom and go about my nightly routine before curling up in bed. I would've loved to have Alex curled up next to me, more comfortable than she probably is on the couch, but I knew that she would insist on going home. It's almost one in the morning and she definitely has a bit of a buzz so I didn't want to risk it with her trying to get home safely.

I close my eyes, letting images of her curled up on my couch flood my mind as sleep finally takes over.


	5. Chapter 5

When my internal alarm wakes me up at six am, I'm surprised to still find her curled up on my couch, now cuddling my pillow. Her blonde hair is ruffled slightly, a small smile on her lips and the blanket pulled up to her chin. I smirk as I tiptoe around her, snapping a quick picture, hoping that she won't mind.

I start a pot of coffee, figuring that she'll probably need it as much as I do. Once the pot starts brewing, I slip back into my bedroom, figuring that I have enough time to shower before the smell of coffee permeates my apartment.

Ten minutes later when I hop out of the shower and into something that resembles work clothes, I find Alex moving around on my couch. "Morning," I call out, alerting her of my presence before walking to the back of the couch.

Her forehead furrows in confusion as she leans up, pushing herself up against the arm of the couch. She runs a hand over her face, rubbing slightly as she groans before looking up at me. "Morning," She mumbles as she closes her eyes once more. "Do I smell coffee?"

I laugh in response, quickly retreating into my kitchen before returning with a fresh cup for her. "Thanks," She says softly as she sits up on my couch and takes a long sip before setting it down on a coaster on my side table. "What time is it?"

"A quarter past six," I inform her, sipping at my own coffee. "You're welcome to use my shower and since you don't have court today, you're welcome to borrow some of my clothes or I can drop you off at your apartment."

"I don't want to inconvenience you," She replies as she pushes herself up off of my couch and stretches, grimacing once she notices how wrinkled her clothes are. "Guess I can't wear these again," She replies with a chuckle. "I think I'll use your shower if you don't mind."

I direct her to my shower before returning to the kitchen, intent on making us something for breakfast. I had honestly expected her to ask for a ride home so that she could get ready for work in the comfort of her own apartment so her staying was certainly a nice surprise.

Five minutes later, I have everything prepped for a quick breakfast scramble and I'm about to throw everything in a pan. I pause when I hear Alex's voice echo softly through my halls. "Liv?"

I turn off the stove before walking toward my bedroom and the bathroom. "Did you call for me?" I question through the door, noticing that the shower is now turned off.

"Yeah, do you happen to have an extra towel? I forgot about that before I jumped in," She calls back from behind the door. I can feel my cheeks burning as images of a naked Alex flood my mind. Wet hair, water running down her smooth skin, completely exposed…

"Uh, yeah!" I call back, mentally cursing myself as I grab an extra towel from my clean laundry and return to the bathroom. I'm not sure if I'm happy or embarrassed about the fact that my shower door is clear… "I have a towel. Do you just want me to leave it outside the door or what?"

"You can come in," She replies, causing my blush to deepen. Stop it, Benson. Stop picturing her naked body! I mumble a response that she certainly can't hear before hesitantly opening up the bathroom door.

"Sorry," I mumble as I turn my head to the side, navigating my way over to the shower while staring at the wall without a mirror.

"You act like you've never seen a woman naked before," Alex replies with a chuckle, her wet hand finally clasping over mine and grabbing onto the towel.

"Well I figured you'd want some privacy," I reply as I step toward the door.

Before I can leave the bathroom, I hear her step out of the shower. "It's safe, Liv. I have a towel on," She teases as she walks over to me. "Care to show me what clothes I can borrow?" Oh fuck.

"Yeah," I mutter as I lead her out of the bathroom and over to my closet. Once I show her what she can borrow, I turn around, finally seeing her in nothing more than a towel. God my imagination certainly didn't do her justice…

Her hair is still wet and separated into dark blonde strands, clinging to her shoulders. There are still small water droplets lining her shoulders and chest, scattered around like freckles. Stop staring. Stop staring. No matter how many times I keep saying it in my head, it doesn't seem to have an effect on me until she steps forward, riffling through my nicer blouses that I typically reserve for court.

She finally decides on one, plucking it out of my closet with a smile on her lips. "Thanks for letting me steal your clothes," She states as she takes her bra from her clothes. I find myself frozen in place as she places my blouse on my bed, her towel slipping down a few feet so that I can see her bare back. She clasps on her bra without much effort, sliding my blouse on over it.

It's only when she turns around with my towel wrapped around her waist and my blouse unbuttoned, leaving her bra exposed, that I finally manage to turn around and leave my room so she can have some privacy.

A short few minutes later, she comes out of my bedroom with my blouse and her skirt from the night before on. There are a few wrinkles on the skirt and I'm sure it's driving her crazy but she ignores it, instead thanking me once more for my generosity.

After a rushed breakfast, we're out the door and headed to the DA's office. She smiles at me as I pull into the DA's office parking lot in order to drop her off before returning to the precinct. "Thanks again, Liv, for the shirt and allowing me to spend the night. I had a great time with you," She admits as she opens up the door but doesn't make a move to get out yet.

"It was nice having company over," I confirm, nodding as I smile back at her.

She finally slips out of my car but not before tossing me one last smile. "Maybe next time I won't fall asleep on you," She calls back as she laughs, closing the door behind her. I chuckle to myself as I pull away from her building. I won't tell her that was my favorite part.


	6. Chapter 6

Two weeks later I'm in a position I never thought I would be. I'm reclining on Alex's couch, the TV on some mundane channel with the glow from her kitchen behind me. I can't help but smile as I hear her soft footsteps behind me before there's a cold bottle of beer in front of me, her pale fingertips wrapped around the neck of the bottle.

"Thanks," I tell her as I grab onto the beer, sighing contently as the cool condensation on the outside rubs off onto my hand. I take a long sip, moaning in satisfaction as the cold liquid slips down my throat. I never picked Alex as someone to carry beer in her fridge so I have a feeling she bought it specifically for me. I hold the bottle up, checking out the unfamiliar label.

"Is it any good? I didn't want to buy the cheap stuff," She states as she sits next to me on the couch, her feet curling up underneath her as she leans against me.

"It's really good, thanks Alex." I take another sip to prove my point, holding up the bottle in a sort of thanks.

She tilts her head to the side as she shifts in her seat slightly. "May I?" She questions as she reaches for the bottle in my hands.

"Of course," I reply as I pass it over to her. She wraps her fingers around the neck of the bottle and brings it to her mouth. I can't help but stare as her red lips wrap around the top of the bottle and she tips it back, taking a sip while indirectly exposing her long, pale neck to me. Did she turn on the heater or something? I grab onto my shirt collar, airing myself as I watch her swallow down the liquid before pulling the bottle down and setting it on her bare thigh.

"Hm, not bad," She states as she hands the bottle back over to me. Before I can grab onto it, she pulls it back, taking another quick sip. She tosses me a sheepish grin before she winks, finally placing the cold bottle into my sweaty hand. I waste no time in downing half of the bottle in an attempt to cool my overheated body. Damn her. "Movie?"

"Huh?" I ask in confusion, turning my attention back to her.

"Do you want to watch a movie? I feel like a romantic comedy," She states as she hops off of the couch and walks over to her TV. I watch curiously as she stands in front of the TV with one hand on her hip. Before I have time to brace myself, she bends over, tightening her short shorts over her ass as she pulls open the drawer beneath her TV and riffles through it.

"The Princess Bride?" She questions as she turns her head to the side so that she can look at me while I'm still checking out her rear. Did she really expect me not to? Her legs are even more toned than I imagined especially now since I have an unrestricted view.

"Sure," I manage to sputter out as I finally pull my eyes away from her legs, instead focusing on my beer. By the time she has the movie in the DVD player, my beer is gone. I can't help but wish I had another as she sits down next to me, leaning her shoulder against mine. Her hand somehow manages to land on my upper thigh before she puts some pressure on it, rising from the couch once more.

She disappears and reappears a minute later holding two cold beers, one for me and surprisingly one for her. It appears as if she has since discarded the wine glass that is still sitting on her side table, untouched. She starts the movie but I don't bother looking at it, instead I watch her as she elegantly takes a sip of her beer. How she manages to drink beer elegantly, I'll never know. "This beer is pretty good," She comments, as if to justify her sudden change in alcohol preference for the night.

"Yeah," I mutter, trying my best to focus on anything but her bare leg pressing up against mine as she pulls them underneath her body, leaning against me once more.

Three beers later, for me at least, we finally decide to order some food despite the fact that it is almost nine at night. "Chinese?" She questions as she rummages through her kitchen drawers.

"Sounds good to me," I call back, leaning my arm against the back of the couch and propping my chin on it as I watch her silhouette move flawlessly through the kitchen.

"Okay," She says as she walks back into the living room, her eyes glued to the small take out menus in her hands. "I have a few different places but this one is the best." She hands the menu over to me and I nod in approval; it's a place that I've eaten at often with Elliot. "The honey walnut prawns are my favorite and the broccoli beef is also really good."

I look over the menu, skimming through the individual orders before looking toward the family style section. "Why don't we get an order of both and some chow mein to share?" I know I made the right choice when I see her smile in the most adorable way.

"Is that stuff you like? You don't have to get what I like. We can get something—"

"I like them both," I interrupt her as she sits down on the couch next to me. She still looks hesitant so instead I lean across her, grabbing her phone from the other arm of the couch and holding it out to her. "Make the call, Counselor." Her smile widens slightly as she grabs her phone from my hand and quickly types in the number.

Thirty minutes later and our movie is paused once more as I answer the door and pay for the food, much to Alex's disapproval. "You didn't have to pay," She states as she walks back into the living room with fresh beers, plates, napkins, and utensils. "You already paid for my breakfast the other day."

"You can pick up the bill next time," I tell her as I shrug, taking the plates from her so that she can sit down.

She curls up on the couch once more and takes the container of honey walnut prawns that I'm holding out for her. "That's what you said last time," She mutters as she shakes her head.

I smirk in response as I trade her the broccoli beef for the prawns. "And that's what I'll say next time, too," I tease as I dish up my own food. Once our plates are full and we have beers in hand, we start the movie again, hopefully for the last time.

We watch the last half hour in relative silence, our plates and empty beer bottles migrating onto her coffee table. We both recline on the couch, muttering something about being so full to one another.

When the movie ends, we both stretch out and Alex stands up to turn off the movie. She sways slightly as she rises to her feet, wavering as she tries to avoid the coffee table. "Are you drunk?" I tease as I watch her walk over to the TV, holding out her hand a few times to steady herself.

"No," She replies as she starts to laugh, pushing the buttons of the DVD player before huffing in disapproval as she just turns it off.

I narrow my eyes at her before I look down to the collection of beer bottles in front of us. "Alex, how much beer did you drink?" She frowns as she looks back at me and walks over to the couch once more. With exaggerated motions, she plops back down on the couch and sighs. "One, two, three, almost four? I drank some of yours, didn't I?" She questions as she frowns. "Doesn't matter, I feel fine." She stretches out as she yawns, looking over at me with a grin.

"Cabot, you're drunk!" I exclaim as she starts laughing at me.

"Am not!" She denies as she leans back against the arm of the couch and places her feet against my thigh, pushing me with them.

"You're so drunk, Alex," I tell her as I grab onto her ankles, pulling her feet into my lap. "And you're a light weight."

She squeals in response and I look at her in confusion as she tries to tug her feet away from me. "I'm ticklish!" I flash her a devious grin as I grab onto her ankles and tickle the bottom of her foot. She squirms in response, crying out as she starts laughing hysterically. "Liv! Stop it!"

"Admit you're drunk," I reply as I ease up a little bit so she can catch her breath since she's laughing so hard. She makes a scene out of sucking as much air as she can into her lungs before exhaling. "Admit it, Counselor!"

"Fine!" She exclaims as she pulls herself up and moves her feet away from me. Instead, she lays her back on my lap, looking up at me with a grin. "I'm a little drunk. You're kinda spinning." She tries to reach up to me, her finger wavering in front of my face.

I grab onto it before she can poke me in the eye and chuckle softly at the silly blonde in my lap. I can't say I ever expected her to be a giggly, playful drunk but I'm certainly not complaining. "How about we get you to bed, Counselor?" I question as I place her hand against her stomach. "You can sleep it off."

She frowns as she shakes her head. "I don't want to sleep," She says as she looks up at me, her eyes suddenly widening. "Hey, do you want tacos? I really want some tacos."

"Alex, we just ate like thirty minutes ago," I tell her and she looks at me in confusion. "Chinese food? It's still on the table."

She frowns as she turns her head to the side, looking over at the takeout containers still residing on her table. "Do you think that would taste good in one of those flat thingies?"

"Flat thingies?"

"You know," She states as she holds out hands and presses them together, sliding them around. "Those thingies that are like bread but they're flat! What are the called? Burritos!"

"A tortilla?" I question, watching her in amusement.

"Yes! That!" She exclaims as she pulls up off of my lap, swaying slightly. I grab onto her shoulders, steadying her so she won't fall off of the couch even though I don't think she has completely lost control of her coordination. "Do you think the Chinese would taste good in a burrito?"

"Tortilla," I correct but she doesn't seem to pay much attention to me. Instead, she is staring at her kitchen as if magically a tortilla will come flying to her. "And probably not, Alex. Are you actually hungry?"

She bites her lip as she looks over at me and then back to the kitchen. "Milkshake. I really want a milkshake."

"Okay, that I can work with," I tell her as I stand up off of the couch, wavering a bit myself. I steady myself, knowing that I'm not nearly as drunk as her before I guide her to the kitchen. "Where do you keep your ice cream?" She points to the top rack of the freezer and I extract some chocolate ice cream and pull some milk out of her fridge. "Blender?" She points to her pantry and I pull it out, setting everything up for her.

"Have I ever told you how amazing you are?" She questions as she walks over to her island, pulling herself up so she can sit on it. She swings her bare legs slightly as she watches me put ice cream into the blender.

"No, I don't think you have," I reply as I turn on the blender for a minute before switching it off once it looks like the appropriate texture. I grab onto a glass and fill it up for her.

"Well you are. I really like spending time with you and I really like it when you make me milkshakes," She states as if it's a common occurrence. I chuckle softly at her words as I hand her the cup and she takes it, a huge grin on her face. She takes a long sip, getting the chocolate around her lips but she doesn't seem to care. "You're the best, Liv. Try some!"

"It's okay," I reply as she holds the cup out to me. She doesn't bother moving it and instead frowns. "Fine," I reply as I reach for the cup.

"No, you're not going to try it! Let me do it," She states as she holds the cup up to my face. I raise an eyebrow at her, trying to figure out if she's serious.

"Don't spill it," I warn her as I give in. I move closer to her, watching her as she tries not to laugh. Once I press my lips against the glass, she tilts it up, causing a large chuck of the milkshake to slide toward me. I immediately pull away, the ice cream dripping down my shirt. "Alex!" I exclaim as I grab onto my shirt, pulling the cold liquid away from my chest.

She bursts out in laughter as she hops off of the island. She swipes a larger chuck of milkshake off of my shirt and grins. "You spilled some," She informs me as she brings her fingers up to her lips and licks off the chocolate ice cream, immediately wiping the grin off of my face. How she makes drunk look so sexy, I'll never know.

"You spilled!" I tell her as I try to ignore the warmth settling between my legs from her seductive display. "And now I'm covered in your milkshake."

"You need a new shirt," She tells me, finally realizing that I'm wet. "Here, you can have mine." She reaches for the bottom of her shirt as my eyes widen, my hands immediately grabbing onto her wrists.

"How about you keep your shirt on and I can put on another one of yours?"

"Oh, that sounds like a better idea," She says as she looks at me like I'm a genius. "Let's go to my bed!" She grabs onto my hand, pulling me toward the back rooms. No, no bed…Oh dear god, Alex.

She tugs me into her bedroom and pushes me against the foot of her bed, her hands immediately reaching for the hem of my shirt. "I got it!" I squeal out as I stop her hands, the blush on my cheeks rising.

"Okay. Shirt…" She mumbles as she purses her lips as walks over to her dresser before pulling it open. She pushes a bunch of stuff around before pulling out a t-shirt and bringing it back over to me as I remove my soiled shirt. She grins at me as she holds the shirt out, her eyes glancing down at my chest and abdomen. "You don't have to wear a shirt…"

I raise an eyebrow as I grab the shirt out of her hand, trying to rationalize with myself that she's drunk. She definitely didn't just check me out, that was just a figment of my imagination. When I pull her shirt over my head, she looks like she's pouting. "How about we get you to bed?" I question as I glance at her rather large, pristine bed.

"Okay, let's go to sleep," She agrees as she grabs onto my wrist, pulling me toward her bed.

"No, you're going to lie down and I'm going to grab a cab, Alex. It's getting rather late and you're definitely going to have a hangover tomorrow."

She frowns as she runs a hand through her hair, messing up her blonde locks. "But it's late and you made me coffee last time. What if I want coffee but no one makes it?" I look at her in confusion, a little unsure as to what she's trying to say. "You have to stay and make me coffee and a burrito tomorrow."

I laugh in response, rolling my eyes at her as I guide her to her bed. "Okay, I'll stay but will you please lie down before you fall?" She nods in response and finally sits down on her mattress. "I'm going to go get you glass of water to drink before you go to sleep." She reluctantly lets go of my hand and allows me to slip out of her bedroom.

I take the moment alone to calm my racing heart before filling up a glass with water for her. I rummage through her cabinets before finding a bottle of pain reliever for the morning, pouring two tablets into my palm. When I get back to her bedroom, she's sprawled out across her mattress, passed out.

I can't help but smile as I set the glass of water and pills on her night stand. With a little bit of trouble, I manage to pull the covers out from beneath her body so that I can drape them over her, knowing that it gets cold at night. I pull the covers up to her shoulders and tuck them in around her. I steal another moment to watch her sleeping peacefully. I push her disheveled locks out of her face, glancing at her once more before leaving her room.

It doesn't take long for me to settle onto her couch, stealing the pillows from another chair and the blanket off of the back of the couch. I squish onto the smaller couch, knowing full well that my body is going to hate me tomorrow morning but she's worth it.


	7. Chapter 7

From the sound of the groan echoing down the hallway and to the couch, it's obvious that Alex is awake. I sit up against the couch, glancing over the top of it toward her open bedroom door. I debate whether or not I should go check on her, quickly deciding that I should when I hear her flop around on her bed, another frustrated groan filling my ears.

I happily roll off of her small couch, my muscles thanking me as I stand tall and stretch for the first time in hours. With a bit of effort, I manage to find my way into her room, begging my back to stop aching with every step. "Morning, sunshine," I call out, alerting her of my presence before I enter her room completely.

Underneath a mound of covers I see her head pop up, a prominent frown on her face. "I'm never drinking beer with you again." I grin sheepishly as I walk over to her nightstand and point to its contents. She raises an eyebrow at me before looking over, her frown falling from her face as she recognizes the pain killers for her headache. She greedily scoops them off of her table and dry swallows them, only grabbing water once they're already down.

Once she's downed the entire cup of water, she looks at me expectantly. "Coffee?" She questions as she runs her hands through her hair, grimacing as one of her hands gets stuck and she yanks her hair. "Ow." I try my best not to laugh as she removes her hands from her hair and gets up off the bed. Without a word, she pads into her bathroom, another disgruntled sound coming from her as she looks into the mirror. "God it looks like I have a bird's nest in my hair!"

This time I can't hold back my laugh. She leans back, looking at me through her bathroom door with a pointed glare. "Shut it, Benson and go make me my coffee," She says with a firm voice before she breaks out into a smile, alerting me that she's just kidding.

"Yes, your majesty," I tease as exit her bedroom and head toward the kitchen so that she can have her privacy but also so that I can get some caffeine into my own body. I rummage through her cabinets, searching for something that resembles caffeine. After much effort, I have a pot brewing and I can hear soft footsteps behind me.

"Oh you're a saint." I turn around to see a wet-haired blonde with a cheeky grin on her face.

"Well you look a little less…like you're going to kill me," I tell her, eyeing her up and down once. It's apparent that she decided to take some time to shower and change before talking to me. She's wearing a white tank top that she probably only wears under sheer blouses on every occasion but now. I can't help myself as my eyes trail over her bare shoulders, noting that there are no bra straps.

I swallow hard as I look back up at her, ignoring the fact that she's wearing even shorter shorts than she was the night before, the long expanse of her pale legs incredibly visible. "That's because the coffee is ready," She quips as she walks over to the cabinets and opens one up, pulling out two mugs before passing one to me.

I take the moment to grab onto the full coffee pot and bring it over to her cup first. She grins as I pour the liquid into her cup, filling it up to the brim. Without regard to the temperature of the liquid, she brings the cup up to her lips and takes a long sip moaning softly in approval.

"Happy?" She nods in response, setting her cup down on her island before stepping forward and hopping up into the countertop, retrieving her glass once more. It's a position I was all too familiar with last night and I can't help but wonder if she remembers the events that transpired.

Her face contorts as she leans down and stares at her ground for a few seconds. "My floor is sticky," She mutters to herself as if she's mentally making a note to clean it once I leave. I can't hold back my small chuckle and she raises an eyebrow at me. "What did you do?" She asks, slowly drawing out each word.

"What did I do?" I counter, blatantly staring at her. She looks at me in confusion as she finally catches sight of the bottom of her blender still on her countertop. "You're the one that insisted on me making you a milkshake and then proceeded to pour it all over me."

She looks me up and down, finally noticing that I'm wearing one of her shirts rather than the one that I arrived here in. "Oh," She states as a small blush creeps up her cheeks. "Sorry about that. For some reason I always get hungry when I get drunk."

"So I noticed," I tease, hoping to ease the blush on her cheeks. I wonder if she's blushing for the same reason that I think she is; probably not. "So now that you have your coffee, am I allowed to leave?"

She looks at me in confusion, her eyebrows knitting. "What?"

I blush myself, most likely not visible under my tan skin. If she doesn't remember the milkshake fiasco she most definitely won't remember begging me to stay because she needed coffee in the morning. "Nothing," I reply as I shake my head, turning my attention back to my own cup of coffee. I fill in the awkward silence between us by taking a sip of the potent liquid, my eyes slipping closed as it burns my throat.

"Breakfast?" I pull my cup away from my lips, looking up at her with a raised eyebrow. "I don't have many options but I know I have bagels and cream cheese. I'm assuming you're as hungry as I am," She clarifies, setting her cup back down as she hops off her countertop, momentarily causing her shorts to ride up even high on her bare thighs.

I pull my eyes away from her legs, nodding in response as I step to the side. "Sure, a bagel sounds great," I reply as I watch her walk over to her pantry, pulling out a roll of bagels. With little effort, she cuts them apart and puts into her toaster oven, clicking it on. "Thanks for letting me stay last night, by the way."

"Of course," She replies absentmindedly. I highly doubt that she remembers me offering to leave or her asking me to stay so I figured it'd be polite to thank her. "How much are you hurting right now?" I raise an eyebrow in the form of a silent question and she laughs softly in response. "The couch is like four feet long, Liv. I know you were all cramped up on it and that your back is hurting. You're already walking funny."

I shrug sheepishly in response; I didn't think my pain was that noticeable. "It wasn't that bad," I lie.

"Nice try, Detective," She teases, immediately sensing my lie. She walks over to her fridge and pulls out some cream cheese, setting it to the side as she extracts a knife from a drawer and two plates from a cabinet. "Cream cheese?"

"Yes please," I respond as I watch her pull the bagels out of the toaster oven and plate them up. When she turns back around, she offers me a plate before leading me to the other side of her island where two stools reside. "Thank you."

"It's the least I can do to thank you for putting up with my drunk ass last night." She chuckles at the thought, picking up a piece of her bagel and nibbling at the edge.

"Not big on eating when you have a hangover?" I question. She nods in response, taking a slightly larger bite of her bagel to put on a good face. We eat in mostly silence, her asking a few questions about the foolish things that she might've done the night before. I spare her the details, unsure if she really wants to hear them.

"You never answered my question," She tells me as she places our plates in the dish washer and quickly washes her hands.

"And what exactly was the question, Counselor?"

"I asked how bad your back is hurting and don't lie, I've slept on that couch plenty of times before so I know how much it hurts." She heads out into her living room and I follow her, expecting her to start cleaning up our mess from the night before which I already took care of. She frowns as she looks at the clean table minus an unopened bottle of beer that I must've missed.

"It hurts a little," I admit, reaching a hand around and rubbing my sore lower back.

She walks around the couch and throws the pillows to the side, placing only one on the couch in the corner. "Lie down." I stare at her, her words not quite registering. "Come on, lie down, Liv, and I'll give you a massage."

I can feel the blush rising on my cheeks and I'm thankful that I'm as tan as I am. I have a feeling I look like a deer in headlights right about now. "No, no that's alright," I sputter as I glance between her and the couch.

"Oh," She breathes as she looks back up at me. "I see, you don't want to lie down on that dreaded couch again," She teases with a grin. Before I have time to respond, she has her hand tightly clasped around my wrist, pulling me toward her bedroom, ready to strip me down and take me…A girl can dream, right? She stops at the foot of her perfectly made bed. "Okay, lie down."

"That's okay," I reply as I shift my weight from foot to foot. I certainly wouldn't mind feeling her hands on my body but I have a feeling that I won't be able to control myself once she starts. She narrows her gaze at me as her eyes flicker from me to the bed.

I give in, almost stumbling over my own feet as I lie down on her bed. "Move up." I wordlessly comply before I feel the mattress dip underneath her weight. My eyes flash open as I feel knees press up against my hip on either side of my body. I don't have long to question her position straddling my legs before her hands are on my shoulders.

Involuntarily, my eyes flutter closed as her fingers ghost over the tops of my shoulder, even up my neck. "You're muscles are so tense," She remarks as her pressure increases, her fingers digging into my shoulders as she rolls them back. A groan accidently slips out of my mouth in response to her motions and she simply chuckles softly in response.

The bed shifts once more and I feel her knees press higher up my sides before a weight settles on my rear. I can feel my cheeks burning as she settles her lower half on top of my rear, her hands never leaving my shoulder. "Is this okay?" I can't find the words in response, instead I moan softly in response as her thumbs hits a particularly tender spot. She doesn't move, interpreting my moan as approval.

Within minutes, her hands have touched every inch of my clothed back, migrating lower and lower every time. Before I have time to thank her and request that she finishes, I feel my shirt being tugged up. My bottom lip squishes between my teeth as I feel warm fingertips barely skirt underneath my shirt on my bare skin.

"So tense," She mumbles as she pushes my shirt further up my back without reservation. "Lean up so I can get this off of you." I comply, leaning up just enough for her to push the shirt up to my collarbone, her fingers running up the length of my sides the entire time.

"You don't need to—" My sentence falls short as I feel her warm hands spread out across the expanse of my back and run downward, her nails lightly dragging down my back. I bite back my groan, desperate not to let it slip out as she pushes her hands back up my spine before kneading between my shoulder blades.

"I can feel all the knots in your back," She tells me as her nimble fingers zone in on a sore spot and she massages firmly there. A moan slips out against my will but she doesn't say anything, her fingers still working on that special spot.

"There you go, loosen up," She whisper as her hands migrate to my shoulders. She wraps her hand around both of my shoulders and massages firmly there, leaning forward to put her body weight into it. I gasp as I feel her the bare skin, from where her tank top has no doubt risen up, press against the bare skin of my lower back. Her arms rest on my back, her body lowering almost completely on mine as she kneads my shoulders, the minutes ticking by, neither of us moving much.

Much to my disapproval, her hands finally slip away from my shoulders and she pulls herself upright again, hesitating for a moment before completely dismounting off of me. "Feel better?" I merely nod in response, finally pushing myself up off of her bed while tugging my shirt back over my chest.

"A lot better, thanks Alex."

"Well it's the least I could do for making you sleep on the couch last night," She says as she stands up, her arms rising in an attempt to stretch, a sliver of her bare stomach being revealed from her actions that I can't help but look at. "Next time, just sleep in my bed. The couch is way too small."

My eyes find their way back up her body, finally meeting a pair of sparkling blue eyes. I smile back at her, knowing full well that this is hardly likely to happen again and even less likely that I'd be willing to crawl into bed with her. As much as I want to, it'd only make things worse.

* * *

 **A/N: I'm so happy you guys are liking this story! I was keeping this to myself since it's pretty different from what I normally write but decided to give it a chance. Glad you guys are enjoying the pace as well but I have a feeling you all are going to hate me pretty soon. The teasing will continue for quite awhile until they both can't stand it anymore...**


	8. Chapter 8

It's a week later when I find myself drinking with Alex again, well, me drinking and her just making small talk with the rest of the detectives. After a rather tough case that ended up in a conviction, Elliot invited Alex to join us at our favorite bar. With a hesitant glance my way, she agreed when I offered her up a smile and a small nod.

That's how we wound up at the bar, two pitchers of beer already empty and another half gone. Munch and Fin are rowdy, howling at each other, making bets on who could pick up the most women in this bar; I won't tell them that the two figures that they're admiring at the other end of the bar aren't actually women.

For his part, Elliot is pretty laid back, talking with Alex and me about random things that we wouldn't normally talk about. He keeps pushing beers my way, which I don't really mind, but I think he realized that there was something off about me and I just needed a good drink.

After almost two hours in the bar, I can feel my head spinning and a slight headache coming on so I push my latest mug of beer to the side, blinking rapidly as I zone in on Fin, reclining back in the booth with his eyes shut. "You quitting, Benson?" Munch teased as he glanced my way, his eyes narrowing in on me.

I can merely offer him up a smirk as I lean back in the booth, copying Fin's motions, inadvertently leaning up against Alex who is next to me. "Yea, I'm a happy buzzed right 'bout now," I mutter, shaking my head as his figure starts to spin.

"You look a little past that, partner," Elliot states as he glances at me with concern in his eyes. I shake my head in response, leaning even more against Alex without really trying. Her body is soft against mine and I can't help it as I cross my arms over my chest, my fingers brushing up against the smooth, bare skin on her arm. I can feel her skin rising up in response, small bumps forming as she shivers.

"Nah," I try to convince him as I tip my head to the side, bumping into Alex. "Sorry, Lex."

"That's okay," She whispers softly as her hand finds my fingers that have gently been brushing up against her arm. She pulls my arms away from my chest, a motion that nobody but I notice. She rests my hands in my own lap, one of her fingers tracing random patterns into the back of my hand. "You're really warm."

I shrug in response, raising the hand that she isn't playing with to wipe my forehead with the back of my hand. I can feel the heat from my forehead as I do so, along with the smallest specks of sweat appearing at my brow. The bar isn't hot, at least not any hotter than normal when crammed full of bodies, so I'm not quite sure why my temperature seems to be rising as the seconds tick by.

My attention is pulled back to Alex as she turns my hand over, running two fingers down my palm, causing my fingers to curl up in an attempt to follow her hand. She leans over, her head tipping toward my neck. "You're sweating," She whispers into my ear so that no one else can hear. Her warm breath feels cool against my neck, causing goosebumps to rise. She pulls away, offering me a small smile as she continues running her fingers across my sweaty palm.

"You okay baby girl? You ain't lookin' too hot." Fin's voice pulls me out of my reverie and I open up my eyes which seemed to close under Alex's teasing touches. I blink a couple of times, his face slowly turning from a blur into a figure that I can make out. He looks tired himself as if he could use a few days of sleep. I nod in response, taking a deep breath and inhaling the smell of cigarette smoke seeping inside from the outside. I grimace in response; it's a scent that I always hated, especially mixed with the scent of alcohol because it reminded me of nights with my mother.

"I'm hot," I state as I try to stand up, somehow forgetting that I'm in a booth. The table bangs against my thighs and I sit back down as the beer in the pitcher shakes.

"Why don't we go outside for a few minutes," Alex suggests as her cool fingers slip into between mine, pulling me out of the booth. I nod in response, following her as she still holds onto my hand, leading me toward the exit.

She pulls me through a puff of smoke and I cough as I swing my hand in front of my face, trying to get the smell off me. "Are you okay?" I'm stopped suddenly, too preoccupied with the smoke in my face to realize that Alex had turned to face me. I practically run into her, causing her to take a step back before grabbing onto the sleeves of my leather jacket and steadying herself.

"Yup, just hot," I assure her as I lean against the brick wall outside of the bar, closing my eyes for a few seconds and inhaling cool New York air. While it wasn't necessarily fresh, it was refreshing, reminding me of the buzz I'm still riding out which is rapidly turning into something worse.

"Hey baby." My eyes flash open as I hear a drunk man slur these words, dragging out the last word as he leers in our direction. "How you doin'?" He questions as he attempts to swagger over to us, well Alex more so than me. His eyes stay glued on her and she merely rolls her eyes, turning her attention back to me.

"Are you sure you're feeling okay, Liv?" She pressed the back of her hand against my forehead and it feels cool and refreshing to me, my eyes closing once more. "You're rather hot."

"Hey sweet cheeks, I'm hot too. Wanna cool the fire in my pants with those pretty little hands of yours?" My eyes flash open at the sound of the man's voice once more, chuckles following him as his friends watch him walk closer to Alex. From the corner of my eye I can see him holding out his hands behind Alex, as if he was about to grope her.

I can feel myself heat up even more, red filling my vision as I zone in on him. Alex keeps her cool, instead turning around to glare at him. "Excuse me?" She questions as she stares him down, an 'ooh-ing' sound coming from the drunk asshole's friends.

"I asked you if you wanted to take care of the fire in my pants, babe," He slurs as he takes a step closer to her, his hand grabbing his crotch as if to prove his point. "Maybe you can extinguish it with your mouth, honey." Alex doesn't respond, instead she watches him as his hand reaches for her side. "Put your sweet little lips—" He doesn't have time to finish his sentence as I clench my fist together, ready to knock his front teeth out. Before I have time to, however, he's already on the ground, eyes wide with a hand holding his groin.

"Don't you dare lay your hands on me," Alex spits out as she lowers her leg and I finally realize that she had kneed him in the groin when he attempted to grope her. "And I suggest you get your drunk ass home or make your buddies drag you home for that matter," She states as she looks up at all of them, eyeing each one individually. "Before I ask my four detectives inside to arrest all of you so that I can prosecute you." She ends her statement with a flash of her ADA badge and it doesn't take long for them to scatter, leaving their drunk idiot of a friend behind. He merely crawls toward a trashcan before pulling himself up, running as well before Alex makes good on her word.

When she turns back to me, I'm still looking at her in shock, my eyes wide and mouth partially agape. It's not that I don't think she can protect herself, hell now I know for a fact she can, it was more or less that I was expecting to be her hero tonight, not the other way around. I blink a couple of times as she tilts her head, evaluating me.

Even in my intoxicated state I can tell that she's concerned as she presses a hand against my cheek. "Liv, you're even redder than before." I don't bother telling her that it's because I was pissed off that that asshole of a guy tried to touch her. Instead I shake my head, immediately regretting it as I press my own palm against my pounding forehead.

"Okay, I think it's time we get you home," She tells me softly as she tugs me gently off of the wall. I pull away from her, dropping my shoulders back as I try to take off my leather jacket, somehow feeling even hotter under her gaze. I tug at the sleeves as I struggle, trying to remain upright.

She looks at me in confusion. "I'm hot, Lex," I mutter as I continue tugging at my jacket, only stopping as she places a soothing hand on my lower back. She steps behind me and grabs onto the shoulder of my jacket, pulling back gently until it slips off of me completely.

She folds it over one arm and wraps her spare arm around my back. "Better?" She questions as she leads me back inside. I walk with her guidance, my stomach suddenly churning in an unfamiliar way. I look at her, her blonde hair shining as she leads me over to our booth.

Before we can reach it, I lurch over, my blurry eyes searching desperately for a trashcan. I find one, immediately leaning over it as I expel the contents of my stomach into it, the scent of stale bar food and beer only making me puke more.

Within seconds, I feel soft fingers brushing up against my cheeks as my hair is pulled from my face. "Oh sweetie." I lean into Alex's soft touch, no longer aware of my flipping stomach. She runs her fingers over my scalp tenderly, pulling my hair back into her hand. Her other hand finds its way on my lower back, rubbing small circles into my skin.

I can faintly here Elliot behind me, telling Alex something about me not feeling welling during lunch either. I can hear the words food poisoning and twenty-four hour flu being tossed around but instead I focus on Alex's gentle touch.

"I can take her home and get her settled, Alex. She's resilient, she'll be okay."

Alex's hand pauses on my back before continuing her soothing motion. "She's also drunk, Elliot. I think she needs someone to stay with her."

"I can take her home with me then. Kathy won't be thrilled but she likes Liv enough to keep her alive."

"No, you have kids to deal with and I don't think you want them getting sick. I'll take her home with me. If I'm going to end up getting sick it's too late for me, I've been touching her enough tonight." They're silent for a few seconds and Alex's hand leaves my back, instead running up and down my bare arm. "Liv, sweetie, can I take you home with me?" I lean into her touch, her hand migrating up to my cheek. She presses her knuckles against my warm cheek, rubbing there slowly. "Can you help me get her to my apartment?"

"Of course. You sure you're going to be okay taking care of her, Cabot?" They're silent for a few more seconds. "Okay, okay, I trust you. She's my partner and I really care about her." I can hear their voices going softer and softer as the seconds tick by, their voices fading away as if they were leaving me.

Alex's knuckles spread out against my cheek, her thumb gently stroking the top of my cheek. "I care about her too."


	9. Chapter 9

It's dark when I open up my eyes and quiet. It's far too quiet for my apartment and my body freezes as I blink a couple of times, something rubbing up against my face. I inhale slowly, a familiar scent washing over me that I can't quite place but it relaxes me. My muscles loosen up, protesting in response as if I had just asked them to run ten miles.

I shift my legs, soft sheets rubbing up against them, another one tangled between both my legs. I finally lift my head up, a throbbing sensation washing over me as I force my eyes open. I stare down at the pillow in front of me which is curled underneath my body, my hands clinging to it as if my life depended on it. I frown as I look down at the dark blue bed sheets, unfamiliar to me.

That all too familiar scent washes over me once more as a soft voice reaches my ears. "You're awake." Alex. Suddenly the warm vanilla and strawberry scent makes sense to me as well as the sheets. I lean up, a wave a nausea washing over me as I turn to look in the doorway. She's standing there holding a glass of water, her other hand closed as if she's holding onto something.

I nod in response, nausea rolling over me once more before I scramble of out of her bed, rushing toward her bathroom before I can soil her bed. I can hear her hot on my heels as I fall to my knees, crawling the rest of the way to her toilet. Before I can grab onto it, she pulls open the lid for me as I expel what little is left in my stomach into her toilet.

It burns as I gag, the acrid smell of stale beer reaching my nose as I continue throwing up the contents of my stomach. Her hand is on my back like the night before, those memories rushing back to me. Her other hand is toying with my hair, pulling it back just to be sure. "There you go, let it all out. You'll feel much better."

I listen to her, gagging a few more times before I feel like I'm done, gasping for air as I lean back and sit on my heels. "There we go." I look over to her as she crouches down next to me, one hand on my back as the other comes up to my forehead. "You still have a fever," She mutters, more to herself than me as she rubs the back of her hand against my forehead. "Come on, let's get you up so you can rinse out your mouth and then get you back into bed."

I nod in response and she guides me to standing position, bringing me over to the sink. She turns on the sink water, cupping some in her hands. "Lean down, sweetie." I listen to her and she presses her cold hands against my face, letting the water flow over my heated flesh. She repeats her motion a couple of times before grabbing a towel. I take a moment to wash my mouth out, ridding myself of that putrid taste before allowing her to dry my face with a towel.

She guides me back to her bed and I don't protest, sliding back into the cool sheets. "Stay upright for a moment, please." I stay in a seated position as she grabs the glass of water that she had earlier and picks something off of the side table. "Fever reducer," She explains as she opens up her palm, revealing two small pills. "Drink some water with them. I think your stomach has finally settled so you should be able to keep this down now and we can bring you back to your normal healthy self."

I don't have the effort to protest and I take the pills, swallowing them down with some water. Alex doesn't take the glass back, instead she raises her eyebrows at me. I crack a smile as I drink the rest of it, finally making her happy. She takes the glass from me and presses the back of her hand against my forehead once more. "You're already feeling better than last night. Sleep does wonders for you, Detective."

I'm hardly conscious as I lie back down on her bed, grabbing onto the pillow that smells like her and curling it up against my chest. "You do wonders for me," I murmur as my eyes close, the words leaving my lips without my permission.

When I wake again, there's something cool pressed against my forehead. I can feel my body leaning toward the right just the slightest bit so I open my eyes, surprised when I see a body sitting next to my sleeping form.

I glance up, making eye contact with Alex as she smiles softly, her hand moving the cool object, which I have identified as an ice pack, off of my forehead. "I'm sorry, did I wake you?" She questions as she sets the ice pack to the side and runs her fingers down my temple. My eyes close in response, her touch my new weakness.

"No," I somehow manage to whisper, my throat dry and coarse.

"Sit up and I'll give you some water." I reluctantly open up my eyes as her fingers pull away from my skin. I do as I'm told, leaning up slightly as she holds onto my side gently, guiding me up. "There you are," She whispers as she fluffs a pillow up behind me and grabs a full glass of water. "Drink this," She directs as she passes it over to me. "Does your head still hurt?"

I drink the offered water slowly, pulling away for a few seconds so I can shake my head. "Don't lie to me, Benson." I glance back up at her, smiling slightly as I drink the cool water.

"A little," I admit as I finish half of the glass. She grabs a bottle off of her side table and pops it open, handing two pills over to me. I take them without question, trusting her completely as I swallow them down, finishing the glass of water.

"You're not feeling as hot," She explains as she presses her hand against my forehead, chuckling. "Then again I was just holding an ice pack there." She shakes her head in embarrassment as she takes my empty glass of water and sets it to the side. "Are you hungry? I made chicken noodle soup while you were asleep. Unfortunately I'm not the best at cooking so it's probably flavorless but I think that might help your stomach settle."

My stomach growls and she smiles in response, ignoring the blush on my cheeks. "I'll take a little." She nods as she slides off of her bed and pads softly out of the room. I take a moment to look around, finally realizing once more that I am in her bed, in her room, in her apartment. I frown, trying to remember how I got here. All I can recall is throwing up in the bar and her talking to Elliot.

When she returns, she has another glass of water and a steaming bowl of soup balanced precariously in her hand. I want to offer her my assistance but I don't have the strength to and instead I watch as the hot liquid slops around but never spills out of the bowl. "There we go." She sets the water glass down on the table and places one leg on her bed, pulling herself onto it as she tucks her leg underneath her body, sitting next to me once more.

She passes the bowl over to me and I hold it in my hands, breathing in the steam which helps to clear my head. "How did I get to your apartment last night?" I question as I grab onto the soup spoon.

"Careful, it's hot," She warns as she watches me take a small spoonful of the soup. "I asked Elliot for help. He helped me carry you up here and laid you down on my bed. He wanted me to tell you to call him when you get the chance."

"I could've taken the couch," I point out as I take another spoonful of the soup, its taste perfect to my still spinning stomach.

She laughs in response and I peer up from my bowl just in time to see her rolling her eyes. "I told you last time that you weren't allowed to sleep on my couch anymore."

"But you are?" I question, raising an eyebrow at her. Instead of her admitting to it like I expect, she blushes, pink covering her cheeks and dipping down her neck beneath her shirt.

"I didn't."

"What?"

"I slept next to you," She says cautiously, as if trying to gauge my response. "I hope you don't mind. I mean you were really sick and you kept groaning so I didn't want to leave you alone. You seemed to be content when I was rubbing your back so I did that until you fell asleep," She rambles off when I don't respond.

"That's fine, Alex. It is your bed but you really didn't have to take care of me. I appreciate it though. It means a lot that you sacrificed your own immune system for my sake." She simply smiles in response, that smile that makes my stomach do flips and not in the way it was earlier this morning.

"Is the soup okay? If not, I can make you something else. I have some toast and oatmeal. Actually I think I have some apples and bananas if you want fruit. I can make pancakes and—"

"It's fine, Alex," I interrupt before she can offer me the entirety of her kitchen. "The soup is perfect, by the way. You're not as bad of a cook as you think you are."

"Glad you think it's edible," She replies as she reaches her hand over once more, pressing it against my forehead. "I think your fever has gone down," She informs me as she moves her hand around my forehead, feeling all around. "Sorry." She blushes once she realizes she keeps doing that.

"It's okay. I appreciate you nursing me back to health," I tease, her blush deepening to a red hue.

"Of course. You took care of me when I was drunk so it's the least I can do. I'm just glad you have some color back in your face." She smiles fondly as she looks at me, examining my reddening skin even though I doubt my blush is visible. "Elliot. You're supposed to call him," She states as she leans over, grabbing her phone off of her side table and handing it over to me. I have no idea where my phone went but I'm sure it's dead so instead I accept her phone and thank her.

She slips out of the room as I find Elliot's number in her contacts, my eyebrow raising as I scroll past Abbie Carmichael's number. I call Elliot, pushing the phone against my ear. "Morning, partner," His scratchy voice echoes through the line. "You feelin' any better?"

"Yeah, Alex took really good care of me. She even made me soup."

"Oh did she now?" Elliot asks, a teasing sound present in his voice. "How's the Ice Queen's bed?"

"Awh, come on El, you know I don't like it when you call her that," I scold him.

"I know, I know. Apparently you like her now. You know you didn't used to when she first came aboard."

"And neither did you," I tell him, wishing he were next to me so I could smack him upside the head. "She's a good person, El. She's not as cold as she seems. Hell, she held my hair back when I was throwing up. You wouldn't have done that."

"Yeah, no throw up for me," He teases, staying silent for a few beats. "She insisted on having you stay at her place, ya know? I offered to take you back with me and she kept making excuses as if she really wanted you to stay over."

"What's that supposed to mean?" I question, an edge present in my voice that wasn't there before. I glance up at the door just to make sure that Alex isn't standing there.

"Nothing. She just seems to like you, Liv. Kinda like Abbie did."

"Don't go there," I snap, cutting him off before he can expand on his thoughts. While he wasn't aware that I slept with both men and woman—and I certainly wasn't ready to tell him—he did know Abbie had taken quite the liking to me. In part, I think it made him uncomfortable and he continued to point it out, telling me to watch out. Little did he know that I already slept with Abbie at that point.

"Okay, okay," He relents, sighing on the other side of the line. "It just seems like you always attract the wrong type of attention." I grimace at his words, wondering if he was specifically referring to females as the wrong type of attention. Abbie certainly wasn't the first woman to openly flirt with me at work and she definitely wasn't the last but I didn't consider Alex taking care of me as flirting.

"She's a good person, El. She was just taking care of me. We hang out sometimes on the weekend, you know, having a girl's night."

"Why do you need one?" He questions, the hurt apparent in his voice.

"It's nice to get away from the guys every once in a while, El. You know I love you guys, I really do, you are all like my pesky brothers but sometimes I need a break."

"Yeah, yeah, brothers," He mutters and I can just picture him shaking his head. I wince at his words, thinking back to all those late nights at work where we talked about things you normally didn't at work. He had admitted to me that he wasn't happy with his marriage and that Kathy had accused him of having an affair with me far too many times. I laughed it off, telling him that was stupid because we had never done anything and never would. He seemed upset when I told him that but I brushed it off.

It wasn't until a year later that I thought back to that moment when his body was pressed up against mine, alcohol on his breath. I pushed him away, telling him that he was drunk and married. He told me he was unhappy and that he saw the way I looked at him, a not so innocent look. I denied it, mainly to save his marriage and keep him loyal to Kathy. In truth, he was more than just a brother to me when we first started off. He was my protector in a way. He showed me the ropes and always had my back, no matter what but I wasn't a homewrecker. So I kept my thoughts to myself even though apparently others could see the way I looked at him.

My feelings slowly faded; it took a couple of years but it did and I found myself suddenly more attracted to the fairer sex as the days passed. Once I even invited my then girlfriend to one of Elliot's barbeques, hoping that he would get it without me having to say anything. While Fin and Munch seemed to understand, he simply told me that my _friend_ seemed a little touchy. I broke up with her the following day.

I'm pulled from my thoughts, unsure as to how long I had been quiet with Elliot on the other side of the line, when I see Alex leaning up against the door frame. "Look, I gotta go El but I'll call you when I get back to my apartment and shower."

"Yeah, okay. You think you're coming into work on Monday?"

"Don't see why not," I tell him as I glance up at Alex. Her eyes were on the floor, one of her feet running across the hardwood floor. "See you then." I hang up her phone, taking the moment to admire her figure while she is too distracted looking at the ground. I have a feeling that she didn't bother changing this morning since she is wearing a silk camisole and a pair of shorts under it. It's an outfit that I always imagined her wearing to bed but had never witnessed and never expected to.

"Elliot's not going to hurt me, is he?" Alex teases as she pushes herself off of the door frame and walks over to me.

"Nah, I told him that you took good care of me." She smiles in response as I scoot over a bit, patting the edge of her bed. She complies, sitting down next to me. "Besides, knowing what I know now, I think you could take him." She looks at me in confusion, her eyebrows furrowing. "You were very brave last night."

"What, when I helped you as you threw up?" She questions, still missing the point.

"No, when you kneed that guy in the balls," I tell her, her cheeks suddenly flushing as her eyes widen.

"Watch your mouth, Detective!" She exclaims as she playfully pushes my shoulder.

"What, you're the one who hit him! I was about ready to knock out his two front teeth, to be honest. I definitely didn't expect you to knee him there." Her blush deepens as she leans back against the pillows on her headboard, her body sinking into the covers. "Awh, it's nothing to be embarrassed about, Alex. I'm genuinely impressed. You brought him to his knees and made him and his friends run off with their tails between their legs."

She shrugs in response. "Yeah, well I wasn't about to let him touch me and you seemed a little too nauseous to throw a punch for me. Although I do thank you for being willing to come to my rescue." My own cheeks flush in response to her words, my blush deep enough for her to see. "It's not the first time that an asshole has tried to touch me and unfortunately it probably won't be the last." I frown at her words, my fists instinctively clenching as I think of another man trying to grab her.

God, what I would give to be her knight in shining armor. She'd never have to worry about a man talking to her that way or attempting to touch her inappropriately again; they'd all have broken noses and missing teeth.

"It's my job," I mumble, hoping my blush isn't too prominent. I chance a glance over to her, her lips are curled up into a smile and her eyes are shining. "Any of the guys would've done the same. You know that, right?"

She shakes her head in response. "Sometimes I think they all hate me," She admits, ducking down her head.

"Nah," I reply as I shake my head. "I know for a fact that Fin likes you and I'm pretty sure Munch wants to date you." Her head shoots up and her eyes widen. "It's okay, I told him if he hits on you he's going to lose a piece of his manhood."

"Olivia!" She admonishes me.

I grin in response. "What? It's not like you want to date him. Do you?" I question, my eyes widening as I look at her.

"No!" She counters as she shakes her head once more. "Not that he's not a nice man, he is, I'm just not interested in him."

"You don't need to justify yourself to me."

We stay quiet for a few seconds before she looks back at me. "And Elliot?" I raise a single eyebrow in a silent question. "He hates me, doesn't he?"

I sigh as I lean back against her headboard, running a hand through my disheveled locks. "Elliot is, well, difficult, Alex. He's not good with change and he definitely doesn't like it when people challenge him. You challenge all of us, forcing us to be better detectives and don't get me wrong, it's the right thing to do, but he just doesn't like that."

"I figured at much. He was really against letting me take you home with me, you know. He looked at me as if I was a sex offender or something when I asked him to lay you down in my bed." I can't help but laugh in response, just imagining Elliot's imagination running wild about what Alex would be doing to me in her bed. While I certainly wouldn't mind something happening between us, I knew Alex's offer was completely innocent. But Elliot was Elliot and sometimes he let his thoughts run wild, his religion clouding his mind and making him judge others. "It's not funny, Liv," She admonished me, scooting away from me.

"Oh, Alex, I didn't mean to laugh at you," I tell her, trying to coax her back next to me. She raises an eyebrow at me, her arms crossed defensively over her chest making her look smaller, almost weaker, than usual. She looks at me, as if waiting for me to continue. "Elliot gets really protective over me sometimes, that's all. He doesn't think you're a bad person, he just doesn't trust easily."

"But you didn't see the way he looked at me," Alex mumbles as she shakes her head. "Can I ask you something?" I nod in response, waiting for her to continue. "Remember when I asked you about if you had slept with him?" I nod once more. "Did you ever do anything with him? Because sometimes he acts like a jealous boyfriend and I know this is none of my business but—"

"I didn't do anything with him," I interrupt before she can start rambling once more. "I may be a lot of horrible things but I'm not a homewrecker, Alex, nor will I ever be."

"That's very admirable of you." I look over to her and there's something in her eyes that I can't quite place…regret, sorrow, guilt. I shake off my thoughts as Alex pulls away, sliding off of the mattress. "I know you said you wanted to get home and shower but you're welcome to shower here." I open up my mouth but she cuts me off. "And don't even think about lying to me. I know you're still not feeling your best so go hop in the shower, take your time, and I'll set out some clothes for you when you get out. If you can convince me that you feel better after that, I'll take you home. If not, we can watch a movie and I'll make you dinner."

I smile in response, the thought of watching a movie with Alex very attractive right about now. "You drive a hard bargain, Counselor," I quip before sliding out of her bed and wandering over to her bathroom.


	10. Chapter 10

After a far too long shower and a pair of warm sweats that smell like Alex, I'm back on her couch. I can smell chicken cooking in the kitchen, Italian spices permeating the air. She had asked me what I wanted for dinner and apparently 'nothing' wasn't an appropriate answer. I tried telling her that she had done enough for me but she ignored me, instead listing off everything she could make.

I finally asked her if she could me chicken and pasta and that seemed to satisfy her. Of course she teased me and said that she might burn the water but she'd try for me. She always seems to say silly stuff like that which makes me laugh.

I'm pulled from my thoughts as I hear the sound of something cold hitting hot oil fill the room. I lean over the back of the couch, peering into the kitchen just in time to see Alex jump back. I chuckle softly to myself as she tilts her head to the side, staring at the pan that I'm guessing has chicken in it. "Don't burn yourself, Alex! I'm too sick to drive you to the ER."

"Very funny, Benson," She calls back from the kitchen, turning around and smirking at me. "I'll try my best not to burn anything including my own flesh."

"Good," I yell back to her, turning back around on the couch and cuddling under the blanket that she had given me. She had also forbidden me from leaving my seat on the couch, making me promise that I'd call her if I needed anything. "I kinda like you all in one piece," I say just loud enough for me to hear it. I pull her blanket further up to my neck, smiling as her scent overcomes me.

Ten minutes later, I can hear the sound of water splashing as a curse falls from Alex's lips. I waste no time in throwing the blanket off of me and jumping over the back of her couch, running toward the kitchen. When I get there, the large pot that once contained pasta is sitting sideways in the sink, almost on top of the strainer filled with pasta. She's holding her red wrist with a pained expression on her face.

Without hesitation, I step behind her, pressing her against the counter as I take her wrist in one hand, the other turning on the faucet. I place both of our hands under the water, cooling the burn on her wrist with the water.

It's only when her wrist is no longer bright red that I realize the intimate position that we're in. Without thinking, I had pressed my front into her backside, pinning her against her counter. I can feel the swell of her rear pressing against my thighs, my breasts against her back. I take a step back, releasing my hold on her as I turn off the water. "What did I say about burning yourself?" I tease as I grab onto a paper towel and cover her wet wrist with it.

She grimaces as she takes over, pressing it over her burn and patting it dry gently. "Thanks," She mutters as she shakes her head before looking up at me. "Hey, I thought I ordered you to stay on the couch!"

"You were in distress," I counter, holding up my hands as if I was innocent. She raises an eyebrow at me, tilting her head to the side as she stares me down. "What? I wasn't just going to sit there while you burned yourself making dinner for me."

"I'm going to eat it too," She counters before looking toward the stove. "Shit! The chicken." I stop her from reaching for the hot pan, instead taking care of it myself. I turn off her stove and remove the pan, grabbing tongs and plucking the pieces of chicken out of the pan. "I ruined dinner."

"No you didn't," I reply as I place the chicken on a cutting board. "It looks just fine, Alex. It's not even burned. I think you're the only thing that got burned."

"I told you I wasn't very good at cooking," She whispers with a sheepish grin.

"You're a great cook, Alex. You just didn't expect the water to spit back up and hit you. I've made the same mistake plenty of times." She nods in response as I grab a knife and cut up the chicken. It looks a little dry on the inside but I'm not complaining. "Go grab some plates and we can eat."

She does as directed, pulling two plates and forks from her cabinets and drawers before setting them out for me. I smile at her as I grab a plate and fill it up with pasta before handing it to her. She ladles sauce over it before tossing a few pieces of chicken on it. I hand her the other plate and she repeats the process until both places are full.

We carry our plates and cups of water out to the living room where Alex had already requested I set up a movie so that we could have some entertainment while eating. I slip the movie into the DVD player and return to the couch, sitting down in my seat from earlier. I grab onto the blanket, tossing it over my legs as Alex reclines next to me, closer than usual.

I glance over at her as she props her feet up on the coffee table much like I am, staring intently at the TV. I admire her for a second before grabbing onto my blanket, tossing it over her legs as well. She glances over at me for a second, smiling in response as she scoots just a little bit closer.

We watch the movie in relative silence, both of our plates migrating to the coffee table as the minutes tick by. I'm acutely aware of her body progressively getting closer and closer to mine. A shiver causes me to look over at her, goosebumps rising on her pale arms which are exposed.

Without a word, I grab onto the edge of the blanket, pulling it off of her. She looks over at me in confusion, ready to get up and grab another one until I put my arm behind her, resting it on the back of the couch as I look at her expectantly, my eyes flashing between her and the empty space between us. Her lips curl up into a smile, one that makes my heart flutter, before she slides closer to me.

She presses her side completely against mine, her head burrowing against my shoulder. The arm that was around the back of the couch slides down, my hand cupping her shoulder as I pull her even closer. With my other hand, I toss the blanket back over us, this time covering her torso as well as her legs.

Her new position makes it difficult for her to place her feet on the coffee table so instead she drapes them over my lap, her toes accidentally teasing my calves. Feeling her body pressed so closely against mine makes my heart beat faster, my body suddenly growing hotter as the seconds ticked by. I can't resist myself when I grab onto her legs, pulling them closer to me until they're resting against my thighs. She lets them tip down so I can still see the TV, her legs now resting entirely across my lap, one of my hands around her back and the other holding onto the tops of her bare thighs.

As the movie progresses, we somehow find ourselves stretching out more. My legs have since managed to spread out along the length of the couch, forcing Alex to turn onto her side against the back of the couch. Her legs are still draped over my, leaning against my lap with my hand still holding them to my body. She's now leaning completely in the apex of my shoulder, my arm holding onto her waist with her head resting over my heart.

My fingers continue to draw random patterns on her arm as the credits start rolling, neither of us moving an inch. Her breathing has since evened out after I convinced her that it was fine for her to lay her head against my chest. We had just naturally moved into our current positions and she tried to apologize but I wouldn't let her.

I trail my fingers up her bare arm, all the way to her shoulder and then back down. My fingers slip off of her wrist for just a second, landing on a bare patch of skin on her abdomen. I keep my hand still as I look down at her, her body unmoving. I can see her chest slowly rising and falling underneath the blanket but that's it.

I let my fingers spread out against her abdomen, a wave of guilt washing over me as two fingers slip along the dip where her hip meets her abdomen, sliding under her shorts without realizing it, a single finger touching a segment of lace. I can feel my cheeks heating up as I look down at her, watching for any sign that she's awake.

When she doesn't move, I trace my finger along the sliver of lace that I can feel, careful not to move any other fingers. Again, guilt washes over me, forcing me to extract my hand completely from under her shorts. I bite my lip as I rest my hand on her arm instead, closing my eyes as nausea suddenly washes over me.

A shooting pain down my arm jolts me awake, my eyes open as I groan, pain washing over me once more. My arm tingles as I flex my fingers, brushing against bare skin. I groggily blink, looking around in the darkness in attempt to gain my bearings. Slowly the night from before come back to me and I look down to see a head of blonde hair on the center of my chest.

I have since slid down on the couch, my back flush against the cushions with my legs bent. I can feel one of Alex's legs between mine, something that I certainly didn't expect. Another shot of pain causes me to look over to my left arm, suddenly realizing that Alex was almost completely sleeping on it. I smile as I admire her, another shot of pain cutting my admiration short.

I grumble quietly, not wanting to wake her up but needing to if I wanted to regain the feeling in my arm once more. I slowly try to extract my arm from underneath her, her own hand, which is sprawled across my chest, suddenly curls around my shirt. I pause for a moment as her head bobs a bit and she nuzzles closer to me.

Once she stops moving, I wiggle my arm out a little bit more but not quite enough. She squirms again, pinning my elbow firmly underneath her ribs. My fingers roam around, trying to find purchase somewhere so that I can pull my elbow out. Suddenly my fingertips come into contact with what feels like the blanket and I spread my hand out across it, pushing against it as I pull my elbow out.

The feeling of flesh molding underneath my hand makes my eyes widen as Alex moans softly, her hips pushing backwards, forcing her rear more firmly into my cupped hand. Okay, not a blanket. I bite my lip as her hips pin my hand between the couch and her ass. A tingling feeling takes over my arm as I gain some blood circulation back but nearly enough.

I sigh as I try to move my elbow once more, my hand indirectly squeezing her ass as I do. I can't deny that it feels good to touch her there but this is hardly the scenario that I imagined touching her for the first time. Another soft moan falls from her lips as her hand clenches onto my shirt, twisting it under her motions. She finally releases her grip, sliding her hand up until it lands on my breast.

I freeze as her hand attempts to grasp onto my shirt once more, this time fondling my breast instead. Oh dear god, stop, Alex. I bite my tongue in an attempt to hold back my moan as she palms my breast gently before her hand goes limp. I attempt to pull my hand away from her rear this time, wiggling it just enough…

Before I can completely extract my hand, Alex rouses from her sleep, blonde hair falling all around my chest as she picks up her head, her hand tightening around my breast as if it was stabling her. She seems disoriented for a second as she looks at me and I can faintly see the white in her eyes as she blinks. And then there's a sharp gasp as Alex pulls her hand from my breast and she scrams upright, finally relieving my arm but leaving my hand on her rear.

"Oh my god. I am so sorry," She mumbles, still half a sleep as she grabs onto her hand as if she were burned. She looks so embarrassed it's absolutely adorable, the low glow of New York flooding from her kitchen window and illuminating her red cheeks.

"It's okay, we fell asleep," I try to assure her, my hand still pinned where it definitely shouldn't be. "Can you move your waist?" She looks confused, her eyebrows knitting up. Without thinking, I wiggle my fingers against her ass, causing her to jump a foot into the air, her hands grabbing onto the back of the couch in order to stable herself.

"Oh god," She mutters as she shakes her head. "I treated you like a human body pillow. I'm so sorry, Olivia."

"It's okay," I repeat as I pull myself up into a sitting position so that she has more room. "You touched mine, I touched yours. Fair enough, right?"

She finally cracks a smile, leaning back into the couch cushions as she runs a hand through her hair, sighing. "What time is it?"

I glance over to her DVD player, little blue numbers illuminated on there. "3:52 according to your clock," I inform her and she groans.

"No wonder why I'm so tired. Come on, let's go sleep on my bed so we don't feel like crap in the morning." I'm about to protest, telling her that I'm fine on the couch when she grabs onto my wrist. "Don't argue tonight, I'm tired and grumpy." I chuckle softly at her, allowing her to pull me off of the couch before guiding me to her bedroom. Without a word, we both crawl into either side of the bed, cuddling up against the pillows.

It takes mere seconds before her face is completely relaxed and her breathing has steadied. It's obvious that she's fast asleep and I take the moment to watch her under the low glow of the moonlight. Her blonde hair is disheveled, little strands sticking out, something that I can't say I'm familiar with seeing. Normally her hair is perfect, each strand in its designated location but now, now it's messy and absolutely adorable.

How she's so beautiful while sleeping, I'll never understand. I force myself to keep my eyes open as long as I can, taking in her appearance until I feel sleep tug at the corner of my eyes. I allow my eyelids to drift shut, images of blonde hair, blue eyes, a wide smile, and bare pale skin filling my dreams. "Alex…"


	11. Chapter 11

Neither of us spoke of that night besides a small laugh in the morning when Alex insisted on apologizing once again for groping my breast. I shook it off, telling her that it was an accident and we resigned to silence.

After she fed me once more, I insisted on going home despite the urge to stay with her as long as I could. I figured I had caused enough trouble for my poor heart and decided against kicking myself even more. So I regretfully left her apartment that afternoon, returning back to my lonely, and suddenly no longer homey, apartment.

When I showered, I could feel Alex washing off of me and I almost wanted to turn off the water in an attempt to preserve her intoxicating scent on my body. It felt as if I washing off not only her body wash but also her touch which had continued throughout that night, pulling me from my sleep each time she moved.

Since then, we had met up at least three times a week for drinks, dinner, lunch, even a sleepover on occasion although we never intended it to be that way. Today was one of those days.

I rise from my desk, satisfied that I managed to successfully complete some work without being completely distracted by the thought of Alex.

"Somewhere important to be?" Elliot questions and my eyes naturally fall onto him.

"Just going out to lunch with Alex," I tell him, purposely choosing my words as to not upset him. We hadn't spoken much concerning Alex after the phone call but I could feel his gaze on me every time she walked into the precinct. I found it harder and harder to keep my eyes off of her body, even with knowing that Elliot was watching me under a microscope.

"You did that last week. You working on trial prep or something?"

"Can't two girls just go out to lunch?" I counter as I scoff at him, pulling my leather jacket off of the back of my chair.

"But you're not just two girls." I frown at his words, pausing to look at him once more. "You're coworkers." I sigh in response to his words; I was half expecting him to point out my sexual tendencies toward women. "I don't trust Cabot, Liv, and neither should you."

"There's nothing wrong with her," I drone like always as I walk out of the precinct, not waiting for him to speak again.

Five minutes later, I'm outside her office, ready to knock on her door frame in order to alert her of my presence. Before I can, however, I hear her voice, low and soft through the small crack in the door. "No…You're the one who called this number, you tell me." Alex huffs and the echo of her fingertips thrumming against her desk flow into the hallway. "No there is no man keeping me busy, Mother…No, there's no one to bring home…I'm not going this weekend…I have work, I told you that…I know you want me to be there…But he doesn't even care, Mother…No I will not ask Trevor…Yes, he is a wonderful young man."

I can practically hear Alex rolling her eyes and I hold back my snicker. "A wonderful young man who defends rapists and pedophiles and I argue with every day." This time I can't hold my laugh and I see Alex lean over slightly, catching my eye from the gap in the door. She holds up a finger before rolling her eyes and waving for me to come into the room.

I push the door open, quietly shutting it behind me. "Mother, I have to use that language in order to do my job, it's not crude." I walk over to Alex's couch, plopping down on it as I make a show of watching her. She looks over at me and I wink at her, watching as she tries her best not to laugh. "Mother, I have to go now, I have lunch engagements…No, not with a suitor, Mother. With one of my detectives…Yes, _she_ is very attractive…Goodbye Mother."

"God, I wish I could've heard the other side of that conversation!" I exclaim as I lean up on the couch, laughing at her.

"She asked if the male detective I was going to lunch with was at least attractive," Alex states as she rolls her eyes. "God, I swear she's so desperate to marry me off that her standards have dropped." 

I raise an eyebrow at Alex. "Wow, am I below your standards, Counselor? Too good for a blue collar worker like me?" I tease her.

"Of course not, Liv. I'd much rather date you than a high class slime ball like Langan even though he's a family friend."

"Me too, Cabot, me too. I am pretty hot." She laughs in response, shaking her head.

"Come on, it's lunch time and you're buying."

"Of course, your majesty," I tease, making a show out of showing her the way to the door and opening it for her. We head out onto the street, walking together, my body closest to the street like always. "So you're working this weekend, huh?"

"No," She replies as she shakes her head. "I thought we were going to that new museum?"

"I thought so too but you told your mom that you were working," I explain, pulling open the restaurant door for her and following after, both of us seeking out our usual table.

"I was just lying to her, Liv. She wants me to go to my father's business party. Every couple of months he hosts a new one for all of the companies that he acquires. It's his way of welcoming them before he fires them all and promotes only the few that he likes." I pull out her chair for her like I always do and she sits down. "Thanks."

"You sound bitter," I quip, smiling at the waitress who always takes our order. She raises an eyebrow and I nod; she knows our orders.

"I'm sorry," She apologizes as she shakes her head. "It's just that he's an asshole. My mother isn't like him which is why I don't understand why they're still together or how they even lasted until now. She fits into the high class society world but she seems more Martha Stuart than the wife of a business man who runs billion dollar company and fires thousands just to save himself a few bucks."

I nod, unsure what else there is to say. "I'm venting, I apologize. My mother is just so insistent on me going to their house this weekend and I'd rather not waste a weekend being miserable with them."

"I understand," I assure her as I reach across the table, grabbing onto her shaking hand, a nervous tick of hers that I've come to recognize. "You'd just rather be miserable with me than your parents." That earns me a smile, her lips curling up ever so slightly before I see a flash of her teeth.

"I'm never miserable when I'm with you," She assures me, her hand no longer shaking as she pushes her fingers up, slipping them between mine for a brief second. She pulls away all too soon for my liking, instead reaching for her pocket.

She groans as she extracts her phone, looking down at the caller ID. "If it's your mom you better answer it."

She rolls her eyes at me, accepting the call and placing the phone to her ear. "Mother, I told you I had lunch engagements. You are interrupting said engagements…Yes, Mother, with one of my detectives…What? Olivia, what does that matter? No Mother, I don't have time this weekend…I don't care if Uncle Bill is going to be there, I see him at work all the time…Yes, I know I'm a complete an utter disappointment."

I lean back, trying my best not to ease drop as she argues with her mom. "No, Mother, I'm not coming! I told you that how many times now? You can invite Trevor if you want but I will not be attending with him…What about her? Yes, she's nice, Mother, what does this have to do—no. Absolutely not."

I raise an eyebrow at the blonde who is now staring intently at me with wide eyes. "Mother, I highly doubt she wants to spend her weekend at some business function…No I don't want to bother her…Fine." Alex puts her phone down and rolls her eyes. "Olivia, would you like to go to my parent's house this weekend and attend business functions while having your ears filled with nonsense by older men who just want to get into your pants?"

I can't help but laugh as I hear her mother scream 'Alexandra Cabot' through the phone. "That sounds delightful, Alex," I tease her. Her eyes widen before she glares at me.

"She said no," Alex states as she picks up the phone once more. "She was being sarcastic, Mother…No she doesn't want to go!" Alex sighs as she looks at me, pleading silently for help.

"Just tell her you'll go Alex. I'll go with you," I tell her as our food arrives at our table. "Thank you." The waitress smiles at me, winking before leaving the table; maybe I should leave my number for her.

Alex makes a show out of sighing heavily, the buzz of Alex's mom ranting on the other side of the line. "Fine, Mother…Yes, I'll come up this weekend but I'm bringing Olivia…Yes, she's the detective…I don't know, Mother, you're the one who suggested I invite her…We'll just stay in a hotel then…Well then figure it out because I'm not making her stay in a hotel alone, you have like ten guest rooms…Lunch arrived, I need to go now. Goodbye Mother." Without waiting, Alex ends the call, slipping the phone back into her pocket.

"Sorry, Liv," She mutters as she shakes her head, running a hand through her hair. "Thanks for ordering and everything. And I guess that means you're going with me this weekend?" She asks as she looks at me hopefully.

"Of course, I wouldn't make you go face the big bad dragon named Daddy all alone," I tease her, cutting my sandwich in half and placing it on her plate. She smiles as she picks up the bowl with her salad and pours half of it onto the extra plate that the waitress had brought for us. She always orders the California salad and I always order a turkey and avocado sandwich, both of us sharing half with each other.

"You're seriously a life saver. She wouldn't relent. I'm pretty sure she would've driven down here and dragged me back with her if she had the means to do so." She grabs onto the piece of my sandwich first, taking a bite and moaning in response.

"She'd have to fight me for you," I quip as I dig into my own sandwich, both of us falling into steady chatter as we eat our lunch.


	12. Chapter 12

I groan as I hear my phone ring for the third time. I simply roll over in bed, pushing it to the side as I look at the clock on my nightstand: 6:22 am. I sigh as I pull the pillow over my head and close my eyes, quickly falling back asleep.

It feels like seconds later when my bed is shaking and I jolt upright, grasping onto the sheets. We don't have earthquakes in New York often. I stare at a smirking blonde who is kneeling on the edge of my bed. "Morning, sunshine. You really shouldn't ignore my phone calls, you know."

I groan as I flop back down on my bed, willing my heart rate to slow down. "God Alex, you almost gave me a heart attack. I gave you that spare key in case of an emergency," I mutter as I pull my pillow over my face.

"It is an emergency, Liv. We have to leave before seven unless you want my Mother to rant about how lazy and impolite we are for arriving late." I freeze as my eyes open. Today is Saturday. Saturday is the day we're visiting Alex's parent's house. Shit. "Come on, sleepyhead. Time to wake up." I feel the bed shift as Alex straddles my waist, crawling up on the mattress before grabbing onto my pillow and pushing it up. "Wake up," She whispers and when I open my eyes, I'm surprised to see her within inches of my face.

I reach out, grabbing onto her shoulders. "Do we have to go?" I ask, dragging out my words. I actually don't mind going, I just love teasing her.

"Yes," She replies as I shut my eyes once more. I feel her shift slightly and hair tickles my nose, causing me to scrunch up my face. "Wake up." My eyes fly open when I hear her voice in my ear, her warm breath on my neck.

"Or…" I let the word drag on as I reach up, both of my hands grabbing her sides as my leg comes up, pulling both of her legs to me. I flip her over with ease, making her land on her back against my bed. "We could both just go back to sleep." I let go of her, rolling to the side and curling up with my pillow once more.

She smiles beside me before grabbing onto my pillow, pulling it out from under me. "Find your own pillow," She teases as she plucks off her glasses and rests her head on my pillow, closing her eyes. I groan, regretting that I only bought one pillow for my darn bed.

"Five minutes?" I question, looking at her as one blue eye pops open.

"Five minutes," She confirms as she closes her eye again, pulling my pillow tighter to herself. I sigh as I pull my arm up, using it as a makeshift pillow. Rather than sleeping, I take the time to watch her and I'm surprised that she doesn't open her eyes once.

When I realize five minutes are up, I silently slip out of my bed, letting her sleep still. Knowing her, she was up all night, her nerves getting the best of her. She confessed to me a few days prior that going home always made her nervous because she felt as if she always disappointed her parents. She felt in debt to them since they paid her way through undergrad and law school, never once asking her for money. They supplied her with everything she could possibly want, even though her father wanted her to get a master's in business. It was her Uncle Bill that had convinced her dad that she could reach political aspirations if she got into law.

As quietly as I can, I slip into the bathroom and brush my teeth and hair, making myself as presentable as I can be. It takes a few more minutes for me to slip into comfortable clothes for a long drive but nice enough as well to meet the Cabots. I glance back at Alex, taking in her apparel with seems to match mine. She's wearing a pair of blue jeans with a grey sweater over it, the sleeves long enough to cover part of her hands which are curled under my pillow.

Once I'm dressed and I have my travel bag by the door, I finally return to my bedroom where Alex is still fast asleep. She's already been sleeping for close to half an hour and I really don't want to wake her but I know she'll yell at me if I don't; hell, I'm already in for a tongue lashing from her—and not the kind I want.

"Alex," I whisper as I walk over to my bed, sitting down on the edge. "I hate to wake you sweetie but you said we have to go." I brush my fingers across her forehead, pushing a lock of hair behind her ear. "Alex, wake up." Blue eyes flutter open slowly and she looks at me in confusion before bolting upright in bed.

She frantically looks around the room, her eyes finally landing on my clock. "Liv! You let me sleep for half an hour! We're going to be late!"

"Calm down, Alex. You said we'd be fine as long as we leave before seven. We still have ten minutes until seven," I assure her as I grab onto her glasses which had slipped down onto my bed when she jolted upright. I open them up, handing them to her.

She slips them on and jumps out of my bed, quickly pulling the covers up and straightening them; every time she's in my room she feels the need to make my bed. Sometimes I purposely don't make my bed just so she'll crawl up onto it and straighten out the sheets, her scent remaining on my bed throughout the night.

"Okay, let's go then. My car is waiting outside." I nod as I grab my bag, following her out of my apartment. I lock up before heading out to the parking lot and loading my stuff into the trunk.

I watch as she walks over to the driver side, rubbing her eyes underneath her glasses. "Hey Alex, how about I drive? You look exhausted."

She pauses as she looks over at me before tossing the keys toward me. "You're a saint, Benson," She says as she walks past me, squeezing my arm reassuringly for a second before going to the passenger side door. She had already informed me as to where her parents lived so I figured I could get there on my own for the most part.

Within minutes, we're on the road and Alex is already leaning against her window, arms curled up to her chest. "Go to sleep, Alex. That way you'll be well rested and you won't fall asleep on me when your parents start asking me questions."

"Questions?" Alex teases me as she looks over to me. "I promise they won't interrogate you too much. It's not like you're my girlfriend." My smile diminishes quickly and I turn my attention back to the rode. "Are you sure you're fine with me sleeping for a bit?"

"Of course. I slept all night and even slept in this morning. Go ahead and sleep. If I get lost I'll wake you."

Alex nods her head as she tries to cuddle up against the door. I reach behind me, grabbing my sweatshirt which I had thrown in the back seat just moments ago, before handing it to her. I turn just in time to see her smile as she takes the sweatshirt and balls it up. "Thank you," She whispers as she rests her head against it, her face nuzzling into the fabric. Within minutes it's obvious that she's fast asleep and I try my best to not turn too abruptly or brake too quickly.

Almost three hours later and I know we're close. I hate to do so but I turn on the music quietly, hoping to rouse Alex from her sleep softly rather than calling out her name. The music seems to do the trick and she shifts in her seat, groaning as she stretches out her neck. She glances at the clock and I hear her gasp. "Wow, I slept the entire way." She looks up, peering out the windows. "We're almost there."

"I know. I figured I'd wake you with music rather than my voice," I tease as I continue driving down the road.

"Thank you for letting me sleep, Liv. I really appreciate it." I nod in response and she diligently grabs onto the car radio and tunes the station until she finds one she likes. "It's a right at the next intersection."

I follow her directions and it takes us twenty more minutes before we're pulling into the longest damn driveway I have ever seen in my life. I want to question who needs such a driveway and such huge metal fences surrounding their land but I bite my tongue, instead focusing on the paved road. "We're almost there, I promise."

"You said that five minutes ago, Alex." She smiles in response, reaching a hand over and resting it on my thigh as she gives me a gentle squeeze. After another minute of driving, I pull into the roundabout in her driveway where a man is waiting apparently to take the car and park it. I guess we alerted them of our presence when we entered the code into their gate lock and said hello to the security guard.

We both get out of her car and I head toward the truck but her hand on my upper arm stops me. "They'll get the bags, Liv. Just come in side with me and say hello." I let the trunk be, instead following her like she requested up the marble stairs to the front door. "Mother," Alex says as she grabs onto my hand, tugging me through to the door.

"Oh Alexandra, I am so happy that you decided to come this weekend! Oh look at you, are you eating in New York? Hopefully that man of yours isn't starving you! He should be taking you out every night," Her mother rambled on as she grabbed onto Alex's sides, pulling her sweater tighter to her body as if to assess her daughter's weight.

"Yes Mother, I'm eating and I told you I'm not seeing anyone in New York. This is Olivia, by the way. Olivia Benson, the detective that I work with," Alex introduces as she points to me.

"Oh heavens, you're as frail as Alexandra, dear. Surely you're not actually a cop. They'd snap you in half!"

I chuckle in response to Alex's mom; she seems nice enough. "She's a detective, Mother, there's a difference." Alex rolls her eyes to herself. "She's been promoted and she's an exceptional detective. She even chases down the rapists and pedophiles and knocks them on their asses."

"Alexandra! Watch your tongue," Her mother scolds, causing Alex to roll her eyes once more.

"It's very nice to meet you, Mrs. Cabot," I interrupt, hoping to save Alex from a fight with her mother.

"Oh please, call me Caroline, dear. It's nice that Alexandra is finally making friends in New York, even if you're a detective." I can see Alex's eyes narrowing at her mom, her cheeks turning red from anger.

"What a lovely home you have, Caroline," I exclaim as I wrap my arm around Alex's back, pulling her into the house.

"Oh, yes! It was built in nineteen—" Her words trail off as she walks through the hallways, expecting us to follow her for the tour.

"Play nice, Alex," I whisper to the blonde who is still rather angry.

"She's not," Alex mutters as she rolls her eyes before looking up at me. "How are you so calm about this? She basically insulted both of us in a single sentence."

"She just wants you to be acquainted with good people, Alex. She wants to make sure her little girl is safe," I tell her, guiding her through the hallway and after her mom.

"You're seriously my savior, Liv. I think I already would've spontaneously combusted if you weren't here with me."

"Well that's good then considering I kinda like you alive. You're more fun to talk to I imagine." She laughs at my joke as we finally catch up to her mom.

"And this wall was painted by a renowned artist from France, Jacques Deumont. We paid quite a pretty penny to have him flown out here just to custom paint this room. Oh, but was it worth it! Wouldn't you agree, Olivia?"

"Yes," I immediately respond, glancing around the room and acting as if it were remarkable. "It's quite astounding. I bet this is your favorite room it house, huh Alex?" I nudge her side when she doesn't respond.

"No, I believe my bedroom is my favorite. Speaking of which, Mother can you please direct us to our rooms? I'm sure Olivia wants to get settled in before continuing the tour of the Cabot mansion."

"Oh, Alexandra, didn't your father call you?" Alex shakes her head, making it obvious that she purposely ignored the calls from him if there were any. "Well he filled up the rooms, dear. Yours is still empty, however since it does belong to you. I already called a hotel and requested the best suite they have for Olivia. Surely that will be suitable, Olivia?"

I nod in response but before I can say anything, I feel Alex's hand clenching around my wrist. "Mother, I already explained to you that Olivia will _not_ be staying in a hotel room alone. So call the hotel back and request two rooms there so I can stay with her."

"Alexandra, dear, don't be ridiculous! You have your room here," Her mother explains as she points toward the stairs.

"Alex, it's okay. I can stay in a hotel room and drive back in the morning—"

"Fine, then call the hotel and cancel the reservations entirely," Alex tells her mother, her anger apparent. "Olivia will be sharing my room."

"Don't be absurd Alexandra! Two grown women sharing a bed? That's preposterous!" Her mother exclaims, throwing her hands up to make her point.

"What's preposterous is that you're arguing this with her, Caroline. You know how hard-headed Alexandra can be." We all turn to see a man with the same icy blue eyes as Alex staring at me in particular. He's well dressed, in a suit like I image he always is.

"Father," Alex mutters as she looks to him for the briefest of seconds before turning back to her mother. "I told you to either find a room for her here or I'd be staying with her in a hotel. Now you can pick which one but I will not force her to stay in a hotel alone when I invited her to come with me."

"Oh Caroline, let Alexandra share a bed with her _friend_." I frown at the way he drags out the word, as if he was accusing me of something. "You'll be a good girl, won't you, Alexandra? Surely you've outgrown your teenage ways."

I can see Alex shaking next to me, the rage apparent inside of her. She stares her father down in silence, no one moving a single muscle. "I will show you to our room for the weekend, Olivia," Alex says in a surprisingly calm voice as she grasps onto my hand, tugging me toward the stairs.

Once we're upstairs and inside a room larger than my kitchen and living room combined, I turn to the blonde. "Jesus, Alex. What the hell was that? Your mom is clearly pissed and your dad looks like he wants to kill me!"

"Oh don't be crazy, Liv," She replies as she shuts the door and guides me over to the king size bed. "That is why I didn't want to come this weekend. I knew it would just turn into a mess like this. My mother likes having things her way and my father, well, he's just an ass."

"What was he saying about your teenage ways? God, Alex, he was acting like you used to eat people in your sleep or something. You're not going to eat me, are you?" I question, hoping to lighten the mood a bit.

I see a momentarily sparkle in her eyes as her lips curl up into a devious grin before she shakes it off. "Of course not, Liv. That's a long story, really. One that I'd rather tell you later tonight if you still want to know. I promise it's nothing crazy like eating pe—" She pauses as she chuckles. "Well technically I can't say that."

"Alex!" I whine as I watch her stand up from the bed. "You can't just say weird stuff like that."

"Relax, Liv. I was just kidding. I've never bit—no can't say that either," She mumbles more to herself than me. "I've never physically eaten someone. Metaphorically speaking is a different story," She quips and I feel my cheeks burn as images of Alex going down on someone—specifically me—fill my mind.

"Oh god, Alex! I didn't need to know that," I groan as I playfully push her. "I don't need those images in my head."

"Imagining me, huh? Maybe I will revert to my teenage ways tonight," She tells me with a wink. I feel my cheeks flush once more as she slips into the attached bathroom without another word. I groan as I sit down on the edge of her bed, leaning backwards until I bounce against the mattress. A weekend with Alex, sharing a bed with her. Here's to hoping I don't start dreaming of her going down on me…Fuck.


	13. Chapter 13

**A/N: To the guest reviewer who didn't understand why Alex put up with her parents. If you read the previous chapter in detail, you would've seen the part about Alex feeling in debt to them for all that they have done for her. You don't stop loving your parents and yearning for their approval just because they can be abrasive. And back to the story...**

* * *

Despite the tense mood when we first walked into the Cabot's household, things seemed to have eased up a little. We chatted a bit until lunch time before drinking tea and eating mini sandwiches. A few of Caroline Cabot's friends visited, talking to Alex about things like gardening and knitting—she didn't seem too thrilled, much like me.

After hours of torture, Alex managed to convince her parents to leave us alone, allowing us to explore the property a bit. Apparently they live on a fifty acre plot of land with a lake resting at one corner and a meadow at the other. Alex promised me that tomorrow she'd take me out to the lake, one of her favorite places.

Our time together came to an end far too quickly for my taste and we regrouped at the house, cars now filling the roundabout with a couple of men running around trying to move them all.

"Wow, how many people normally come to these things?" I ask her as we wander around the back of the house as per Alex's insistence since then we wouldn't be walking into the party dressed in casual clothing.

"Typically no more than a hundred. My father likes to keep it smaller so that he can kick everyone out before nightfall. I have a feeling that there will probably only be forty or so tonight, though." She grabs onto my wrist, pulling me around the deck and to a side double door. She pauses as she rests her hand on the handle, the shades pulled down so that we can't see into the room that we're entering. With a reassuring smile, she turns to me. "I promise it won't be that bad and if it is, we'll both suffer together, okay?"

"If I have to," I exaggerate, sighing as if spending the rest of the night with her was a tragedy. "Let's go."

She nods as she opens up the door, looking back at me with her hand still on my wrist as she tugs me into the house. I nearly have a heart attack when dozens of voices scream at us, the room filled with guests and alcohol. "SURPRISE!"

Alex freezes in place, suddenly looking like a deer in headlights as she looks around the room. Her mother is in the front of the crowd of guests, a wide smile on her face but her father is off to the side, a frown on his. "Mother," Alex sighs as she drops her hold on my wrist and stares around at mostly familiar faces.

"Oh don't Mother me, Alexandra. Did you really think we weren't going to do anything for your birthday, dear? I'm surprised you didn't figure it out earlier! Your father was being ridiculous and tried to tell you about half a dozen times. I was afraid that all my hard work would go to waste and you wouldn't come visit this weekend," Her mom rambles on as she gestures to the room full of guests dressed far nicer than me.

"Happy birthday, Lexie," A taller gentleman with combed hair calls, one that I immediately recognize as Judge Harriman. He walks over to her, stopping Alex's mother from ranting even more and engulfs Alex in a hug.

"Thank you, Uncle Bill," Alex replies, a smile finally on her face as she gives him a kiss on the cheek. "Were you in on this too?"

"Why else do you think I asked you to humor your mother and visit this weekend?" He teases as he glances over to Caroline before leaning closer to Alex. "You know I dread your father's business dinners as much as you, darling." He smiles as he looks over at me. "Very nice to see you without handcuffs and a gun, Detective Benson. I take it you're Lexie's guest for the weekend?" He wiggles an eyebrow, Alex immediately swatting his chest with the back of her hand.

Before any of us can say anything, Alex is swarmed with random faces, each trying to wish her a happy birthday. I find myself frozen, watching the interactions from afar. Truth be told I had no clue that it was Alex's birthday today and I feel embarrassed and certainly caught off guard. She had never mentioned her birthday before so I can't imagine her being upset with me but I still feel bad.

Soon enough, the alcohol is flowing freely and servers are walking around with an assortment of food. After about half an hour of forcing a smile, Alex returns to me, rolling her eyes as she does so. "I never realized I knew so many people," She quips as she stands next to me, leaning up against the wall. "God, they can talk forever. I'm really sorry about that."

"Don't be sorry, it's your birthday. Speaking of which, happy birthday and thanks for the heads up," I tease her, nudging her side.

"Sorry," She replies with a sheepish grin as she downs the rest of the champagne in her flute before another one is offered to her. "Thank you." She takes the glass and sips on in. "I think we all stop celebrating our birthdays after a certain age."

"Yeah? And what age is that, Ms. Cabot?"

She smirks at me as she shakes her head. "Don't you know it's not polite to ask a woman her age?"

"Oh come on, you're at least five years younger than me, Alex." She rolls her eyes as she sips at her champagne again. "There has to be a reason why your parents decided to throw you this luxurious party this year."

"Thirty," She mumbles into her champagne glass, her cheeks tinting pink.

"Well, welcome to the big three-oh. And trust me, be happy because I'm closer to forty than I am thirty and I'm definitely missing it." She raises an eyebrow as if she doesn't believe me being that old before downing the rest of her champagne.

"Come on, let's at least take advantage of this party and get some fancy food in miniscule portions." I grin as her hand finds its way into mine, pulling me away from the wall and into the crowd.

Almost five hours later, we're both stumbling up the stairs, laughing like two idiots. "Oh god, I don't ever want to see my Aunt dance like that again." Alex giggles as she leans heavily against me, my arm winding around her back to keep her upright. "My family is so embarrassing!"

"They're not that bad," I tell her as I guide her up the stairs, turning down the hallway and looking for the door that we went through earlier that morning. "I think your uncle is my favorite. Especially when he made you dance with him." I grin as I think back to her spinning around on the hardwood floor before being dipped by her uncle. She looked so beautiful with her long blonde hair flowing around freely like a halo around her.

"Oh god, that was the worst part!" She exclaims as she points to a door down the hallway.

"You're a really good dancer, Alex," I assure her as I lead her to her bedroom, only having to keep her from tripping twice.

"Fifteen years of dance lessons and competitive dancing," She grumbles as she grabs onto the door handle, pushing the door open. "I am so ready to lie down." I let go of her and she practically runs over to her bed, jumping onto it and lying on her back. "I'm too lazy to change."

"Oh come on, Alex. I don't want to sleep with you if you're going to be wearing dirty clothes," I tease as I grab my own night clothes, stripping out of my pants. She leans up slightly, propping her head up by her palm as she watches me change. I ignore her gaze and pull on a pair of shorts before removing my shirt. When I notice her eyes still on me, I toss it at her, her reflexes too slow from the alcohol to stop it.

"Hey!" She yells as she pulls the shirt off of her face and tosses it back to me, missing by far. She starts laughing as she lies back down on the bed.

I smirk as I pick up my shirt, placing it to the side before going over to her bag. "Where are your pajamas?"

She frowns as she looks at me. "Can't I just sleep naked?" She questions as she leans up and pulls off her sweater, tossing it next to mine.

I roll my eyes at her. "Not if you expect me to sleep next to you." _Because I wouldn't be sleeping…_

"You're no fun," She grumbles as she flops back down on the bed, her hands going to the waistline of her jeans. She tugs at the button and zipper before pushing them down her hips, wiggling her way out of them. "Can you toss me a pair of shorts and a sports bra?"

I can feel my face flush as I push through her clothes, finding a pair of cotton shorts easily. I reluctantly dig through her lingerie, more lacy items than I have ever seen in my entire life before I manage to find a sports bra. I bring them over to her, crawling onto the bed and lying down while I wait for her to change.

She stands up, steadying herself on the bed once before she turns her back to me, unhooking her bra and tossing it back onto the bed. I attempt to divert my eyes, unsuccessfully, as she lifts up her arms, pulling on her sports bra while revealing the sides of her breasts.

"There, happy?" I'm surprised when she's looking at me, my eyes now glued to her sports bra covered breasts. I force them up, meeting a smirk on her lips.

"Better than naked," I murmur as I sink down against the large mattress. She jumps back onto the bed, lying down on her stomach next to me as she props herself up on her elbows. "Hey, go turn off the light. You're the last one in the bed," I tease and she pushes me playfully. I open up one eye to look at her. "You never did tell me what your father was talking about earlier this morning."

She laughs in response, shaking her head. "When I was eighteen, I was having a sleepover with one of my friends—or at least my father thought I was having a sleepover." I look at her in confusion. "In truth, the girl sleeping over was my then girlfriend who was six years older than me. My parents thought she was a good role model for me since she already graduated from college and was working for my father's company. He really liked her until he decided to check in on us that night."

"Do I want to know?" I question, feeling like I know where this is going.

"Oh probably not but you asked. Apparently we didn't hear him knock over her moans and he walked in on his little girl between his employee's legs."

"Alex!"

"Oh I was mortified," She continues as she shakes her head, her cheeks turning a brilliant shade of red. "Neither of my parents knew that I liked women nor did they have an inkling. My father was so pissed off, he didn't even leave the room. We were both scramming for covers and luckily I was dressed because he dragged me out of the room by my shirt. Boy did I get the biggest lecture of my life."

"What happened?" I ask hesitantly, a little unsure if I really want to know.

She frowns as she looks at me, maintaining eye contact for a few seconds before averting her eyes. "That was the first and only time my father has ever slapped me. He told me that I was never to see her again or else she'd never be able to get another job in her life. As expected, he fired her the next morning and I didn't want to make things worse for her so I stopped talking to her. I left the following day for college, two months early, lying to my mom by saying that I wanted to get used to being away from home. He never told her and neither did I."

"I'm sorry, Alex," I whisper, suddenly feeling the overwhelming urge to just hug her and hold her in my arms for the rest of the night.

"It's okay," She says softly as she shakes her head. "I was an immature, horny teenager. That's what he meant when he asked if I outgrew my teenage ways. I never talked to him about men or women after that point, he simply asked me about my male suitors and I wasn't going to tell him I still liked women."

I offer her a sympathetic smile as I give in to my urges, reaching up and running my fingers along her temple and pushing her blonde hair out of her eyes. "I don't normally like to talk bad about others but he sounds like a real asshole."

She laughs in response, a smile finally returning to her face. "Sometimes he is," She says as she shakes her head. "Anyway, that turned sad. Thank you for coming with me this weekend, Liv. I can honestly say this was the best birthday I've ever had because you were around to keep me company."

"You weren't too bad of company either," I tease as I play with a lock of her soft hair, twirling it around my finger absentmindedly.

"Oh come on, you know you love me," She quips as she leans a little closer to me, playfully pushing onto my chest. She laughs as she practically falls on me, suddenly losing her balance. She's still laughing as she pushes herself upright and I steady her, one of my hands on her side and the other on her shoulder.

She looks down at me, her smile suddenly fading as her eyes drift shut, her face moving closer to mine. I feel electricity shoot through my body when her lips brush up against mine, my hands instinctively tightening around her side and shoulder as she slides her lips against mine. Her mouth parts ever so slightly, a soft sigh rushing across my skin before she pushes more firmly against my mouth, her hips lowering onto mine.

My eyes shoot open when I realize what is going on, my hands freezing. She pulls back when she notices I'm no longer moving. "Alex," I whisper softly and she suddenly breaks out into a fit of laughter. I can feel my heart plummet.

"I'm so sorry, oh god," She manages to say as she tries to stop laughing. She smiles as she rolls onto her side, her body no longer touching mine. She's still laughing as she shakes her head and I'm entirely confused. "Sorry, it's just the last time I slept in this room I was doing that and we're both drunk, I have no clue why I did that."

I stay quiet as I look over at her, realizing that she hadn't meant to kiss me. "That was stupid," She says as she chuckles. "You know what I mean, right?" She peers over at me expectantly. I can merely nod in response, too afraid to say anything, too afraid to let the hurt be obvious.

Instead, I slip out of her bed and turn off the light, returning beneath the sheets, my back to her. "Thanks for coming with me this weekend, Liv. I meant what I said about this being the best birthday ever."

"Of course, Alex," I whisper as I turn around, looking at her closed eyes and relaxed state. When I hear her breathing even out, it's obvious that she's fast asleep, the alcohol taking its toll on her. "I'd go anywhere with you."


	14. Chapter 14

**A/N: If you're reading this story just for a sex scene then stop now. This story isn't like my normal ones and I said it would be a long ride from the beginning. It's about building a friendship, pushing boundaries, learning to trust, and eventually falling in love.**

* * *

When I wake up, I'm not surprised to find Alex curled up against me, her leg placed between mine and a hand across my chest. It's a position that I almost always find her in when we share a bed, especially if I sleep on my back. Sometimes she curls up against me if I'm on my side but it seems as if she likes me more as a pillow.

The sun is shining through her partially drawn curtains, the sound of quiet chatter coming from downstairs. If I had to guess, I'd say it's a little after seven. As carefully as I can, I pick up her arm and slide it over her chest, rolling her onto her back. Her leg slips off of mine and she groans softly, her hands immediately rising up to cover her face but she doesn't wake.

Sometimes she'll reach for me in her sleep, mumbling unintelligible words. Sometimes I think she just pretends to sleep since she knows it's easier to brush it off if she doesn't wake up wrapped in my arms. I wish she knew that sometimes when I wake up, I'll stay perfectly still just to feel her pressed up against me for just a little bit longer. But last night seemed to prove that she didn't think anything of it, of us.

I take my time away from her to shower, spending longer than I normally would to wash yesterday away. I try not to think about her but as the water runs across my face, slipping over my lips, I find myself running my fingers across them, memories of her kissing me rushing back. The kiss wasn't hesitant; it wasn't shy. She knew what she was doing. She knew just how to kiss me in a way that left me breathless, wanting more. But did she mean it?

Reluctantly, I turn off the shower and wrap myself in a towel before searching for my toothbrush. Once I start, I can't seem to stop, the bristles of my toothbrush rubbing harder against my teeth in an attempt to rid my mouth of her taste. Nothing works.

After far too long, I return to an empty bedroom and a made bed as if the night before never occurred. I slowly dress, unconcerned about her walking in on me. For some reason this has become our normal routine after nights together.

Hesitantly, I exit her bedroom, immediately running into her in the hallway, her hair wet and dripping onto her shirt. "Morning," She whispers, her voice still thick with sleep. "Did you sleep well?"

"As good as one can in a strange bed," I reply, following her down the stairs. She's in a pair of cut off denim shorts and a Harvard law shirt, an outfit that I didn't quite expect considering her family seemed to always dress up.

She leads me into the kitchen, somehow managing to avoid her mom while skillfully swiping two pieces of fresh bacon from a plate, handing me one. She grins as she pulls me toward the kitchen door. "I could smell the bacon this morning."

"Is that what woke you up?" I tease and she nods in response, taking a bite of it as she opens up the door and leads me out to the back deck.

"I don't normally buy bacon since it's so expensive but my parents get the good kind since my dad is so picky." We grab our shoes before she leads me out to a barn of some sorts, guiding me inside. The building is fully of random pieces of equipment that I'm assuming the gardeners and maintenance staff use since the property is so large. There is a tractor, a driving lawn mower, what looks like a brand new truck, and a couple of ATVs in the corner.

Surprisingly enough, she leads me over to the ATV's, swiping a pair of keys from the wall before jumping on one. With little effort, she gets it running only to turn back to me. "Don't tell me you're scared," She teases as she watches me watch her.

"No of course not," I counter as I shake my head. The last time I was on something remotely similar was probably a golf cart when Elliot convinced me to go golfing with him a few years prior.

"Then get on. Unless you're a chicken." She winks at me as she kicks it into gear, scooting up on the seat.

I shake my head as I get on behind her, resting my hands on my knees as she slowly drives out of the barn. "You better know how to drive one of these, Cabot."

"I'm an expert," She quips back as she turns away from the barn. "You might want to hold on." Before I have time to question why, she hits the gas, causing me to almost fall back. Luckily I have just enough time to wrap my arms around her waist, holding tightly onto her as she speeds up. In no time, we're flying through the dirt portion of the Cabot's estate, headed toward the meadow if I can remember quickly.

After a few minutes, we finally arrive and she stops the ATV under a tree before we both dismount. "I believe I owe you a tour," She explains as she starts walking along a trail that leads up a hill. "This is probably one of my favorite places because the view is so great up here."

We stop at the top of the hill and I can easily see for hundreds of miles all around. I spot the main road and a few cars speeding past so far away that the sound of their engines are nonexistent. "It's beautiful up here."

"And that's why I built that when I was ten," She comments as she points up to a large oak tree with a small wooden structure that looks rather degraded inside of it. "It obviously has fallen apart but the swing is still there." I wander over to her makeshift treehouse, spotting only two pieces of wood still nailed to the tree in an attempt to be a staircase. There's a piece of rope still hanging from one of the larger branches with a single piece of wood hanging from it, a single hole in the center.

"Twenty years will do that to wood," I reply as I walk over to the tree, testing the stability of one of the pieces of wood. When it seems stable enough, I step onto it, pulling myself up and to the next step.

"Don't fall!" I ignore her warning as I grab onto a branch, pulling myself up into the tree. Her wooden floor is covered with leaves, dirt, and debris. The ceiling has since fallen down, now resting in a pile toward the side. Two of the walls are still up, one completely missing and the other crumbling.

"It's not that bad up here," I tell her as I step onto the floor, testing it before turning back to her. "Come up."

She looks unsure for a moment before she follows my lead and steps on the makeshift staircase. I pull her up the rest of the way and she immediately clings to the tree, not stepping on the wooden structure. "I don't trust it," She mumbles as she pokes at it with one foot. "God this thing looks like it's about to crumble any second."

"Then we'll jump out," I tell her as I grab onto her hand. "Come on, this was your treehouse twenty years ago. You have to at least step in it." She looks hesitant as she pokes at the floor once more with her foot before stepping onto it. With a little coaxing, she stands completely onto it, leaning closer against me as if I can prevent her from falling.

"It is nice up here," She admits as she wraps her arms around one of mine, clinging to me as she looks around us. We stand there in silence for a few minutes before she starts squirming. "Okay now we're going down."

"What's wrong?" I question as she tries to pull me to the side so that she can climb out of the tree. She shakes her head as she mumbles something that I can't quite make out. "What?"

"Spiders," She grumbles as she points behind me. When I turn around, there's a little guy crawling up into the tree away from us. It takes all my effort not to laugh at her. "How the hell am I supposed to get down?"

"The same way you came up," I deadpan as I step in front of her, grabbing onto the branch as I lower my body, finding the step. Once I have good footing, I lower myself down, a loud crack filling the air as I fall down, barely managing to land my other foot on the last step.

"Olivia!" Alex exclaims as she grabs onto the tree, suddenly forgetting about the spider a few feet from her hands. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah, the step just broke," I explain as I drop down onto the ground, kicking the broken piece of wood out of the way. "Guess you're jumping!"

"You're not serious." She stares at me and down to the broken step on the ground. "I hate you," She grumbles as she grabs onto the branch that I did, hesitantly lowering one foot but not leaving the apex of the tree.

"Come on, I'll help you down." She looks back at me hesitantly. "I promise I won't let you fall," I assure her as I walk closer to the truck and reach up to show her that I'm serious. "Just bring your foot down and I'll grab onto you and steady your leg. Or you can just drop down both your legs and get on my shoulders."

"We're going to fall!" She pulls herself back up and crosses her arms over her chest as she glares at me.

"Oh come on, I promise I'll catch you." She stares at me for a few seconds longer as if she's debating her options. "It's me or the spider, Alex, and the spider is getting closer to you." She practically jumps at my words, turning back in order to search for the spider which is actually crawling away from her.

"Asshole," She grumbles as she turns back to me. She rolls her eyes and huffs dramatically as she grabs onto the branch once more, lowering one leg.

"Now the other one," I coach her. She drops down her other leg, sliding down the bark as she starts losing grip. I step forward, my hands grabbing onto her calves as they slide up to her knees and then her thighs, lowering her onto me. "Okay, I got you." I place my hands on the tops of her thighs as she completely lowers herself onto my shoulders.

"You better not drop me or I swear I'll…"

"You'll what? Make me walk home?" I tease as I start to pull her away from the tree that she's still clinging to.

"Maybe," She mutters as she grabs onto my head, steadying herself as I start crouching down, away from the tree so that she won't hit her head.

I lean down onto my knees, lowering myself until her feet can touch the ground so she can get off of my shoulders. "See, that wasn't that bad, now was it?"

"Well someone had to break the stairs," She states as she raises her eyebrows at me.

"Yeah, yeah, my bad," I reply as I jog back to the ATV. "Can I drive?" I don't wait for a response, instead getting on and turning the key into the on position.

She gets on behind me and points to the start switch. "Press this to turn it on. The kill switch is here. Shifting is your left foot. Down for first gear, up for second. Half a step up from first gear is neutral. It's in neutral right now. The gas is the push bar on the right side and the brake is on your right foot or your right hand."

I glance around at the components for a few seconds before pressing the start button. I press down on the foot pedal, putting it into first gear before pressing on the gas. We immediately lurch forward and I release the gas. "Easy!" She exclaims as she quickly wraps her arms around my waist, holding tightly onto me. "I'd rather not fall off."

"Sorry," I apologize with a sheepish grin. I try again, this time starting smoother. When we start driving, she taps my foot and I move it to the side, unsure as to what she wants. The revolutions of the engine suddenly lowers, indicating that she switched gears for me. I speed up more, carrying us quickly across the grassy land. She taps my foot once more and this time I shift into third gear, allowing us to go even faster.

"Doesn't the wind in your hair just feel amazing?" She yells over the roar of the engine and the rush of the wind around us.

"Yeah, it feels freeing!" I reply as I turn my head slightly, her head coming forward so that she's over my shoulder and her face is next to mine.

"Sometimes I wish I could just stay out here and ride all day."

I nod in response as she uses one hand to point me toward the right. She continues to guide me and points out things along the way. We spend almost three hours exploring the land, stopping at random trees and rummaging through the meadow. She explained certain plants to me along the way, also pointing out what little wildlife that we saw along the way.

After thoroughly exploring what I imagined was everything, she points me toward the right and I follow a winding path. Within minutes, I'm slowing down as we reach the lake. We stop underneath a tree and both get off, Alex's hand immediately on my wrist as she tugs me toward the water.

"Since we're both hot and sweaty we might as well cool off," She states as she lets go of my hand and reaches for her shirt. She swiftly pulls it up and off of her body, tossing it onto a lower hanging branch of a tree. She reaches for her shorts and starts unbuttoning them before she turns back to me. "You coming?"

"I, uh, I'm not wearing a bathing suit," I mutter as I look away from her and out to the lake.

"Neither am I," She returns as she slips out of her shorts, tossing them with her shirt. "Don't tell me you're afraid, Detective Benson!"

"I'm not afraid," I counter as I walk over to her. She's standing in front of the lake in nothing more than a pair of black underwear and a blue bra. "I just showered."

"Chicken," She grumbles as she turns toward the water. "Fine! Make me go alone," She says dramatically as she tests the water with her toes.

I groan as I give in, walking over to the same tree that she hung her clothes on. I slip out of my jeans and hang them up next to hers before pulling off my shirt. I resist the urge to cover myself as I look over to her. She's still testing the water, dipping part of her foot in now.

I grin as I walk over to her, starting a slow jog. She turns when I'm a few feet away from her, finally hearing my footsteps but it's too late. "Olivia!" That's all she can get out before my arms are around her waist, picking her up as my momentum carries us both into the lake.

We both splash into the water and I release her, allowing her to swim to the surface much like I do. Her hair is sticking to her forehead when she returns to the surface, a shocked expression on her face. "Olivia it's freezing cold!" She cries as she wraps her arms around herself as if to prove a point as she treads water.

"You're the one who suggested we cool off," I counter as I start swimming around her. "It's not even that cold you baby." Instead of responding, she splashes me with water. "Hey!"

"What, you said it wasn't cold." I shake my head as I laugh at her, slowly swimming closer to her. "Hey, get away from me!" She starts swimming away from me as I lunge at her full speed. She barely makes it a few feet before I grab her from around the waist, pulling her down underneath the water with me.

She turns in my arms, her hands finding my shoulders as she holds onto me, both of us kicking back to the surface. We both gasp for air as we laugh, treading water to remain above the surface. "You're such a pain in the ass!" She cries out as she splashes me again.

"You asked for it," I tell her as my hands find her hips again. "No!" She cries out as I pull her under once more, my hands sliding upward and resting on her ribs. Her hands slip off of my shoulders and she pushes on the top of my head, causing me to sink further down than her.

I grab onto her sides, pulling her with me but giving her the chance to go back up if she actually needs air. She doesn't, instead allowing me to pull her further under water until we're even with each other once more. One of her hands brushes up against my head before they both roam around, her fingers sliding down my forehead. She lightens her touch, her fingers tracing down my temple and to my cheek. Her other hand somehow manages to find its way to my hips, sliding around until her palm is pressed out flat across my bare abdomen.

I feel myself losing oxygen as her fingers brush across my lips with the lightest touch, my lips parting and allowing bubbles to rise to the surface. A single finger traces my bottom lip, then my top, before she lets go of me completely and I feel water rush against me as she kicks back to the surface.

I let out all my air as I slowly rise to the surface, arriving a few seconds after her. She's looking away from me when I finally manage to push my hair out of my eyes. I can still feel my lips tingling from her touch as I swim a few feet toward her, stopping before I run into her.

We both tread water in silence for a few seconds before she starts swimming to our clothes. "We should get back since it's lunch time." That's the only explanation she offers me as she swims to the grass. Somehow she convinces me that it's smarter to just pull on shirts but not our pants especially since I have jeans.

After an all too short drive back to the barn, she leads me to the back door of the house, slipping in. "Let's just hope my mother doesn't see us," She whispers as she pulls me through an unfamiliar hallway. "She'd throw a fit if she knew we swam in that water. She thinks anything but shower water is unsanitary."

"Then I guess we better go wash up," I agree as I finally recognize the staircase and she leads me up it and toward her bedroom.

"Alexandra." The voice sounds upset, as if trying to scold her.

"Father," Alex grumbles as she turns toward him, stepping in front of me as she holds her shorts out in front of her lower half.

"Your mother will throw a fit if she knew you went for a swim in the lake," He states as he glances at me for a second before turning away from us. "You at least could've put on a bathing suit and acted a bit more modest. I'm sure Olivia doesn't like you parading around half naked in front of her."

Alex sighs as she turns around and places her hand gently on my shoulder, guiding me to her room. "Actually, I don't mind," I call back to her father, Alex's eyes going wide as she immediately clamps a hand over her mouth. I quickly push her into the bedroom and close the door behind us before she breaks out into laughter.

"Olivia! Oh god I wish I could've seen the look on my father's face! You probably gave him a heart attack!" She cries out as she shakes her head, trying to control her laughing.

"Well he deserved it," I reply, glad to see her looking happy again.

Once she stops laughing, she's left looking at me with a permanent smile on her face. Without warning, she walks over to me and throws her arms over my shoulders, pulling me close. "Thank you," She whispers as she hugs me, finally releasing me after a few seconds. She smiles once more before she grabs onto some clothes and slips into the bathroom.


	15. Chapter 15

The rest of the day went by rather quickly as Alex insisted on taking me out to lunch rather than staying with her family any longer. After lunch, she managed to convince her parents that she needed to leave for home or else traffic would be bad. We got back home around seven and Alex convinced me to stay at her apartment for well-deserved drinks.

"Wow, you're bringing out the hard stuff tonight," I tease as Alex walks over to me holding two bottles of beer. Since her last encounter with beer, I've deemed it hard alcohol for her.

"Ass," She teases back as she walks past me, her free hand swatting at my rear.

"Yup, that is my ass," I quip as I follow her past her living room. "Where are we going?"

"My room. I really just want to sit in bed and be comfortable tonight. Is that okay with you?" She questions as she pauses outside of her bedroom door. Why does she even bother asking? Doesn't she know that I'd do anything that gets me just that much closer to her?

"Yeah, of course. Besides, your bed is a lot more comfortable than your couch." She laughs in response, rolling her eyes as she leads me into her bedroom. She sets the beers on her side table and rummages through her drawers, extracting two pairs of sweatpants. She tosses me a pair before wiggling her way out of her jeans, tossing them into her laundry basket. "Wow, we're going all out for the comfort factor."

"Of course! I wasn't going to let you wear your dirty jeans in my bed." I glare at her as she grins, her eyes dropping down to the dirt on my jeans that _she_ put there earlier that afternoon. When we were getting ready to leave, she decided to play fight me for driver's seat which resulted in her pushing me down onto the ground. Of course she ended up laughing her ass off at me before offering me assistance.

I shimmy out of my dirty jeans and toss them in her laundry basket as well since we have both managed to accumulate clothes at each other's apartments. Somewhere along the way we decided that it was just easier to keep each other's clothes for the next time that we spent the night.

Once we're both in sweats, she throws the covers back on her bed and slips into her side; yes, we have _sides_. I grin as I slide in next to her, a beer already being held out in front of me. "Why thank you," I say as I grab ahold of the neck and take a swig. After the last time she bought beer for me, she asked what beer was my favorite and this time we were drinking it.

"Mm," She hums as she takes a swig of her own bottle. "The other stuff that I bought wasn't half bad but this is much better."

"Now you know why I prefer beer," I explain as I watch her tip her beer glass up and swallow down more of the liquid. "Hey, slow down there. I'm not carrying your butt to bed like last time," I tease her.

"No need, we're already in bed," She replies with a grin. I watch her as she raises an eyebrow and brings the lip of the bottle back up to her mouth.

"Don't do it," I warn her as she lowers it a bit before bringing it back up. "You better not…" She breaks out into a grin as she quickly brings the bottle up to her lips and swallows a few more sips. "God Cabot, are you trying to get drunk?" I tease her, even though I know that it'll take more than one bottle to make her tipsy.

"Maybe," She quips as she finally sets down her beer bottle. "My parents tend to do that to me."

"They weren't _that_ bad," I comment as I drink the rest of my beer, setting it to the side. She may not know if she's trying to get drunk but I know I could use a nice buzz, especially since I'm so damn close to her in her bed and I can't do anything about it.

"Says you! At least my father didn't walk in on us doing unmentionable things."

"That's because we didn't do unmentionable things," I reply as I laugh at her. She looks over at me, raising a single eyebrow. "Did we?" A small smile curls up on her lips. "Ew, Cabot what did you do to me in my sleep?" I tease her as I pretend to scoot farther away from her.

"Nothing," She says in a mockingly playful tone as she sets down her own beer. She quickly crawls over to me and pulls me back so that I'm now on my back.

"Someone's a little handsy," I joke as she pins down my hands so that I can't move.

"Kinda like this weekend," She responds as she wiggles an eyebrow suggestively.

"Oh you're gross." I roll my eyes at her playful side before swinging my legs up and wrapping them around her waist. She cries out as I flip us around with ease, pinning her to the bed. "Don't ever try to hold a cop down."

"Maybe it was just a plan to get you on top of me," She says with a grin as she allows her body to completely relax into the bed, submitting to me. I can't deny the flood of wetness that rushes between my legs in response to her submissive gesture. I can't say I imagined Alex wanting to be dominated considering she is always so dominate in her work life. But you know what they say…

"Perv," I quip as I release my grip on her wrists and roll off of her. I would've loved to stay there and kiss her—damn it, stop. Any longer and I would've tried to kiss her. No, kissing is far too benign for what I wanted to do to her. Any longer and my hand would've been down her pants ready to take her to places she's never been before…

"Only with you," She replies in a sing-songy voice before grabbing onto her beer. She leans up just long enough to take a sip before I steal it out of her hands. "Hey! Get your own beer," She grumbles as I down the rest of her beer. I need it more than she does…

"Go get me one," I tell her as I place her empty beer bottle next to mine, sinking into the mattress once more.

"What am I, your servant?" She groans as she pretends to be offended before slipping out of the bed. I wouldn't mind seeing her dressed up in a cute little black and white dress with an apron—oh wait, that's a maid. Definitely wouldn't mind that.

When she returns, she has two more beers. "I'm cutting us off after this," She says as she hands one over to me before crawling back into bed. "We do have work tomorrow morning."

"Awh, you're no fun, Cabot," I pretend to grumble as I accept a beer and sip down the cool liquid.

"You'll thank me in the morning when your head isn't pounding."

"You're probably right," I admit. We both sit on her bed and talk for another hour, much like we normally do before deciding to turn in for the night. She doesn't even bother asking me if I'm staying for the night; instead she pulls out my sleeping clothes for me which now live in her apartment and passes them over. We're so used to our routine that we finish within ten minutes, both of us dressed with fresh faces and mouths.

On my way back from checking to make sure her front door is locked, the domesticity of this scenario finally hits me. We both have our routine down like a married couple. She removes the extra pillows from the bed and folds the comforter down to the foot of the bed since we both get to hot during the night while I check the door lock. She makes coffee in the morning and I make breakfast when we have time. I drive her to work and drop her off before returning to my own office.

I find myself grinning as I walk back into her bedroom and watch her pull the comforter down to the foot like always. She pulls the top sheet away and slips into her bed, looking up at me. "You coming?" She questions as she grabs onto her glasses, slipping them off of her face before folding them up and placing them on her nightstand.

I take another few seconds to admire her, imagining for just a second that she was my lover and I was hers. We already acted as if we were dating, the only thing we're missing is the intimacy. "Yeah," I say softly as I turn off the light like always and pull her door halfway closed, just how she likes it. I walk over to my side of the bed and slip in, turning toward her as I always do. She typically faces away from me when she tries to sleep but within an hour, without fail, she winds up cuddling close to me as if her body craves my touch.

And thirty minutes later when her breathing evens out and she starts mumbling incoherent thoughts like she typically does, she rolls over, reaching out for me. I shift onto my back and move my arm to the side, allowing her to slip against my side, a single hand immediately gliding over my stomach and resting just underneath my shirt. It's like clockwork but I'm not complaining. How can you complain when you have a beautiful blonde sleeping in your arms?


	16. Chapter 16

The following week went by quickly, surprisingly enough, despite two new cases. Unfortunately, with two new cases Alex and I had very little time to see each other besides stealing one lunch break together. Today was Friday, thank goodness, but I still needed to see Alex and request a warrant—a warrant I knew I was never going to get. Of course, Fin and Munch voted I go ask since I seemed to get along better with her; if only they knew.

I walk up to her door and knock lightly on the door frame, knowing that she doesn't like it when people walk in without alerting her of their presence first. "Good morning, Counselor," I call out, her head immediately rising from her paperwork to look at me.

She smiles once her eyes land on me, dropping her pen down and leaning back in her chair. "Morning. What can I do for you?" She questions, knowing that it's too early for a social visit.

"A warrant," I start off, gauging her response. She sighs and straightens up in her chair, both of her arms resting on her desk as she leans closer to show that she's listening. "We know it's Gordon who raped Rebecca and left her for dead." I can see her preparing to argue with me. "And before you say anything, we know he was outside of her apartment that night. The apartment security guard willingly gave us the footage and we can clearly identify him walking around outside."

"And does this video footage also show him entering the apartment and going up to her floor? Better yet, up to her apartment?" She questions, raising an eyebrow even though she knows I don't have that kind of proof.

"No but we have an eye witness that thinks she saw a man matching his description. She described him as wearing a blue baseball cap which he was in the video footage."

"Circumstantial at best." She sighs as she looks up at me. "Do you have anything else? A positive facial ID of him going into her apartment? Anything more?"

"Well we need a warrant for his car. We know that he had to put Rebecca into his trunk in order to transport her to the dumping yard," I explain, hoping to hell that maybe she'll let me off easy.

"There is no way that I can get you a warrant based on that information and I certainly won't embarrass myself in front of a judge by asking for a warrant, Detective. Bring your witness down here and show her pictures, _properly_ , and _then_ we can talk. Until then there is nothing I can do for you unless you have footage of him going into her apartment."

I sigh in response; at least she didn't chew me up as much as I expected. "Alright. I'll bring her down and show her some pictures. If it's a positive ID, you'll call a judge?"

"I'll consider it," She replies, smirking at my attempt to get her to agree with me.

"Fine," I grumble as I head out of her office.

"Olivia," She calls out, stopping me before I can leave.

"Yeah?"

"Are you busy tonight?" She questions.

"Well it is Friday…I have a hot date with a really cute blonde," I tease as I watch a flash of something unfamiliar cross her face before she straightens up.

"Oh okay," She says softly as she leans up in her chair and grabs onto her files.

"Alex, I meant you." She looks up again, a questioning looking on her face. "You're my date for tonight. Unless you weren't just asking me to hang out?" I ask, giving her an escape if needed.

She smiles again, whatever expression was on her face only moments ago gone completely. "Perfect. Pick me up at nine and wear something," She pauses as she purses her lips, her eyes slowly dragging down my body before continuing, "tight fitting and revealing."

I raise an eyebrow in response, surprised by her bluntness. "What exactly are we doing?"

"We're going out tonight and we're going to get drunk," She simply replies with a grin.

"Alright, see you tonight, Alex." I find myself smiling like an idiot as I leave her office and head back to work. Now if only this case could wrap up in the next couple of hours so I can focus on Alex tonight.

Despite the daunting case today, I find myself excited as drive to Alex's apartment. It only took me about an hour to decide on what to wear since Alex's request was rather vague: tight and revealing. I glance down at my shirt, a tight black v-neck that hugs my breasts perfectly, making them seem more prominent, and a pair of skinny jeans which took me far too long to get into. Within minutes, I'm outside of Alex's door waiting for her to answer as I ponder on what the night may bring us.

When the door opens, I have to try my best to keep my mouth from dropping. Okay, maybe I was a little conservatively dressed compared to Alex. She's in a flowing red tank top which clings perfectly to her breasts and is a bit too low along with a pair of skinny black jeans. To top it all off, she's wearing a pair of black heels, far higher than I've ever seen her wear during work.

"Wow, you look…amazing, Alex," I manage to sputter out without looking _too_ stupid. She smiles in response, playfully flipping her long blonde hair back behind her shoulder.

"You're not too bad yourself, Detective," She husks as she places a hand on the center of my chest, slowly dragging it down to my abdomen before pulling away. "Also, change of plans. We're just going to walk to where we're going so we can both get plastered."

I laugh in response, thinking that she's joking but she doesn't say any more on the subject. Instead, she leads me down to the street and we start walking. Fifteen minutes later, we're wandering down a darker alleyway and I feel the need to step closer to Alex, my hand immediately migrating to her lower back.

"I promise no one is going to try to mug us," She comments but she doesn't pull away from me, instead she leans into my touch until her arm is rubbing against my side.

"Where in the world are we going? It's almost ten, Alex and no one is out."

"That's because they're all inside," She states as she points to a flickering neon sign that I wouldn't have noticed otherwise. "Come on." She rests her hand on my side, gripping my shirt gently as she tugs me toward the building. There's a woman standing outside of it that I didn't notice before, much larger than me with her sleeves torn off.

"Well hello to you Allie," The lady calls as she lets out a low wolf whistle. "Haven't seen you up in here for months, doll."

"Allie?" I whisper into her ear as we walk over to the woman.

"Just go with it," She murmurs as she offers the woman a smile. "I've been busy Jen. This is my friend Amanda." She gestures to me.

"Mhm," The woman, who is apparently named Jen, hums as she looks me up and down. "You look like you're in for a wild ride tonight, Allie. I don't see why you're comin' 'round here."

"To see your gorgeous face, obviously," Alex says smoothly as she winks at the woman. "And the alcohol is cheap, the women pretty, and the music loud."

"Just how you like it and just for that compliment I'll let your new mustang in free tonight." Jen opens up the door, gesturing for us to enter.

"Thanks, Jen," Alex calls out as she pushes me into the dark room, loud music immediately flooding my ears; Alex wasn't exaggerating.

"Amanda? Really?" I ask her as she pulls me toward a lit up bar. "And mustang? What am I, your horse or something?"

She grins as she holds up four fingers and the bartender nods before turning around. "Amanda was the first name that came to mind. I generally don't like giving my real name when going to a lesbian club," She states as she points around and I finally have a moment to take in our surroundings. Surprisingly enough, there are dozens of gorgeous women grinding on one another in the center of the room, a DJ toward the front, and a long bar stretching along the length of the club.

"But mustang?" I question once more as the bartender slides over four shot glasses and a small dish of limes.

"She said you were a wild ride," Alex quips as she slides two glasses over to me. "Come on, drink up Detective. You're going to have to carry me out of here tonight." She brings her hand to her mouth before pouring some salt over it. I watch her curiously for a second before she looks at me once more. She rolls her eyes as she grabs onto my hand and her tongue swipes across the segment of skin between my index finger and thumb. I bite back my moan as she shakes some salt there before letting go.

"Cheers," She calls as she picks up her glass and clinks it with mine. We both lick the salt and down the shot before grabbing our lime wedges and biting into it, sucking on the bitter liquid. "God I forgot how much that burns," She comments as she scrunches up her face. "Oh well." She repeats the process, this time allowing me to lick my own hand much to my disappointment.

Once we have two shots in us, she drags me out to the dance floor, insistent on dancing. We somehow wind up squished in the middle of the crowd, the dark room making it harder to see one another. Much to my surprise, she pulls me close, the heat radiating off of her body as she wraps her arms around my neck. I can feel her waist rubbing up against my lower half and a shot of heat coursing through my body before settling between my legs.

We dance through a few more songs, both of our bodies heating up to the point where I can feel my shirt beginning to cling to my skin. Right as I'm about to suggest we go get another drink, the song changes and Alex turns around, this time pressing her ass up against my lower half. I can't hold back the groan this time as it rumbles deep within my chest in response to the feeling of her pert ass rubbing up against me.

My hands immediately seek out her hips and I cling to them, my fingers pulling up her tank top just enough for my fingertips to brush against bare skin. She grinds into me without reserve, her hips gyrating to the beat of the song, each time increasing the pressure against me. One of her hands grabs onto one of mine, holding it firmly against her bare abdomen as her other hand finds its way into my hair.

Her fingers weave into my brown locks, tugging at them as she pulls my head against her shoulder. She tips her head toward me and I can feel her heated breath running across my sweaty neck. As if that stimulation wasn't enough, she curls up her fingers and scrapes her nails across my scalp just hard enough to increase the heat between my legs.

Her hand is warm against mine as she slides my hand that was against her abdomen lower. I can feel my heart beating out of my chest as she guides the tips of my fingers underneath the waistline of her jeans. I swallow down hard, my throat suddenly becoming far too dry as moisture pools between my legs. I can hardly manage a coherent thought, too focused on the feeling of my fingers inside Alex's pants.

Instinctively, my fingers curl against her skin, the tips of my fingers just barely touching something lacy. I bite my lip to keep from making a sound as her hand curls around my wrist, forcing my hand into her pants another inch. Now I can completely feel the lace strip of her underwear and I want nothing more than to push my fingers under it and feel _her_ , not just fabric.

Unfortunately, my state of ecstasy is destroyed when Alex slows her grinding against me and turns her head up to mine. "The redhead at the bar won't take her eyes off of you," Alex yells over the music, tossing her head in the direction of the bar. I follow her gesture and immediately lock eyes onto a cute redhead at the bar who quickly turns away, blushing.

"Yeah," I reply with a shrug as I slowly extract my hand from inside of Alex's pants since we're no longer dancing.

"You should go ask her to dance!" She encourages me as she tugs on my hand slightly, leading me over to the bar. "I'm not going to hog you all night. Go dance with her and who knows, maybe one of us will get lucky tonight," She says with a wink, finally letting go of my wrist and heading away from me toward the bartender. I swear I can feel my heart sink into my stomach at the thought of Alex wanting me to try to bring someone home. Hell, the only way I want to get lucky is if _both_ of us are getting lucky, together.

I glance over and see Alex sipping at something blue in a martini glass and she nods at me, smirking. I turn away from her and walk over to the redhead, leaning up against the bar next to her. "You look like you could use a dance," I say smoothly as I smile at her. I might as well have a little fun tonight.

She smiles at me, her cheeks turning pink. "Are you offering?" She counters and I laugh in response, taking a step back and holding out my hand to her. She takes it and I pull her out onto the dance floor, both of us falling into the crowd of dancers.

We make small talk as we dance as a way to make it less awkward and I find her shyness endearing. She's exactly the kind of woman that I normally would've loved to take home—innocent and curious. I'm still a bit unsure if she's a lesbian but if I had to guess I'd say she's just curious. She would've been perfect to take home—until Alex came along.

I can't help but compare the way she grinds up against me to Alex. She moves her hips more to the side whereas Alex pushes back into me, never breaking contact with our lower halves. She doesn't have her hand in my hair, instead they're awkwardly resting over my hands and her palms are sweaty. She smells like cinnamon whereas Alex smells like strawberries, vanilla, and, well, _sex._ Her scent certainly doesn't make me nauseous but Alex's makes me want to push her up against the nearest wall and take her without reserve.

"Your girlfriend looks like she wants to kill me," The redhead whispers into my ear but doesn't turn toward my direction. Instead, she's looking over at the bar where Alex had since sat down.

"What?" I question as I follow her gaze and catch sight of Alex just as she turns away. "She's not my girlfriend," I counter as I shake my head, slowing our dancing. She's certainly not my girlfriend but she almost _did_ look jealous.

"Jealous ex then? Either way I don't think she likes me dancing with you." I keep my eyes on Alex for a few moments and she glances back to us, only to turn away once more, ordering another drink.

"None of the above," I reply as I stop our dancing and start pulling her to the bar. "She's just a friend but I think she's getting lonely. Thank you for dancing with me but I think I'm going to go keep her company."

"Doesn't look like just a friend to me," She murmurs as she shakes her head. "Yes, thank you for the dance. Maybe next time I'll see you here alone?" She asks hopefully as she smiles at me. God she would've been perfect to take home…

"Maybe," I say as I grab onto her wrist and pull her close to me, kissing her cheek. I feel her hand press up against mine as she pushes something into it. When I pull away I see a piece of paper with numbers written down on it. I smile as I pocket her phone number and head back over to Alex. "What happened to trying to get lucky tonight?" I question as I sit down next to Alex, snatching her colorful martini and downing the rest of it.

She rolls her eyes at me as she orders another drink and playfully nudges me. "No one here interests me," She responds as she shrugs. "What about the redhead? You two seemed to be getting really friendly."

"Yeah, she wasn't interested," I lie as I shrug, acting as if I didn't really care. "She was cute but seemed pretty innocent."

Alex chuckles as she grabs onto her newest drink, sipping on it before sliding it over to me. "So you like them naughty then?" She teases as she raises an eyebrow.

I smirk at her as I take a sip of her drink, enjoying it much more than the last one she had. "I like a woman who knows what she wants. She was…curious and as much as I'd love to show her the wonders of lesbianism, I don't want to wake up with her scrambling out of my bed with regrets."

"Well, I guess that means we're going home with each other tonight," She jokes as she calls over the bartender. "Might as well wake up with the worst hangover we've had in years." My stomach churns as I see four shot glasses placed in front of us. She hands me one and holds hers up. "Cheers!"

"Cheers," I say as I clank my shot against hers and down it. Here's to hoping that I can walk out of here tonight…


	17. Chapter 17

**A/N: I wrote most of this story months ago for _me_ and this is how it turned out. I am not purposely dragging this out like many of you think because I never meant to publish this. Some of you expressed concern with how much they drink...that's just poor planning on my part, really. But this story is spread out over _months_ so really they don't drink much, it just seems like it because those are the moments I choose to describe. And no, Alex isn't trying to be a tease...you'll understand in later chapters what's going on in her mind. There's a lot of backstory that hasn't come to light yet. Anyway, glad most of you are enjoying this and thank you for all the reviews! I promise things will be picking up _very_ soon! **

* * *

I can feel my blood pumping and my forehead sweating as we both tumble out of the club around one, Alex leaning heavily against me as we both laugh.

"God, I'm so wasted," She groans as clings to my shirt, both of us stumbling as we go.

"Whoa, there Allie." We both stop and sway in place, turning to see a familiar brunette. "Hey, Allie, let me call you two a cab, okay?"

"Mkay," Alex says as she leans her head against my chest, sighing as one hand clings onto my shirt so that she's not swaying. "You're the best Jen."

"Yeah, yeah, and you're both drunk. You're gonna hate yourself in the morning, Allie." She pauses as she looks at me curiously. "Or maybe you'll love yourself, who knows." Her comment doesn't make any sense to me; I'm too busy focusing on the feeling of Alex's warm body pressed up against mine. "Amanda, are you going to be able to get her home alright?" God, Alex still looks gorgeous drunk. "Amanda?"

Alex hits my chest lightly and I turn toward Jen, suddenly remembering my fake name. "Yeah," I mumble as I blink a couple of times, her figure warping in my vision. I shake it off and focus on her, finally making out the concern in her eyes.

She doesn't say anything, instead she leads us out to the street when she finally sees a cab. I help Alex in first while holding onto the roof of the cab. Before I can slip in, Jen grabs onto my arm, halting my motions. "Hey, I know you're both drunk but be good to her tonight or else you'll have to deal with me. You got that?"

I nod in response, suppressing the urge to push the woman away from me; you never grab an officer, then again, she didn't know. "I'd never hurt her," I respond, suddenly feeling a bit more sobered up.

"Good, now get your asses home and don't do anything stupid, okay?" I nod as I climb into the cab with her and rattle off my address to the driver since I can't seem to recall her address.

A short drive later, we're both stumbling into my apartment and up the elevator. My desk attendant merely nods at me as he smiles.

"The room's spinnin'," Alex mumbles as she holds onto my arm while I lead her toward my bedroom. When we finally get there, she immediately lies down on my bed, spreading out as she sighs in relief. I nudge out of my shoes and walk over to her. I remove her heels and toss them to the side before reaching for my jeans. I push them down my hips and stumble a few times, almost falling but somehow managing to catch myself.

Once they're off, I crawl onto my bed and want nothing more than to lie down but I know Alex is probably uncomfortable in her jeans. Without thinking, I position myself on top of her and start undoing her button and zipper.

"Liv," She whispers softly and my eyes move from her pants to her face. She reaches up, her hand grabbing onto my shirt before pulling me down. I fall on top of her, my hands scrambling up so that I can support myself. She doesn't give me any time to do so, however, before her lips are pressed up against mine.

I give up on my attempt to support myself and groan into her mouth as her hands weave into my hair, pulling me closer. Everything is a blur as we kiss, her hands tugging on my locks while my hands rest against her neck. She opens up her mouth to me and I waste no time in pushing my tongue into her mouth, tasting half a dozen different flavors of alcohol between the both of us.

Normally the taste would've been enough to slow me down but instead it fuels the fire inside of me, her taste coming through the mix of alcohol. Somehow she manages to push her jeans down off of her legs while remaining underneath me. I help her once they're down her legs, tossing them to the side before returning to my position on top of her.

Everything blurs as I tumble over and suddenly she's on top of me, her lips pressed up against my neck and sliding lower. She pulls away to remove her tank top, tossing it to the side before her hands start grabbing at my shirt. She can't seem to figure out how to remove it and instead shoves it up around my chest before running her nails across my abdomen.

I groan in response and try to lean up in order to get my shirt off the rest of the way. "Stupid shirt," She grumbles as she grabs at my shirt once more, pulling it over my head but not off of my arms. She starts laughing when it gets stuck over my head and I can no longer see anything.

I blindly lean up in an attempt to get my shirt over my arms and immediately hit my head against hers. "Ow, shit," She groans before she starts laughing, uncontrollably now. Finally, she helps me pull off my shirt and I can't help but laugh as I look up at her smiling, one hand over her left eye. "God, what the hell 're we doing?" She chuckles as she shakes her head.

"You okay?" I question as I reach up, removing her hand so that I can see her eye. I try my best to focus on her, ignoring the spinning room around us.

She nods in response, still laughing as she rolls off of me and lies down next to me. "We're so wasted," She says as she rolls onto her side, pressing up against my body. "But you smell so good," She mumbles as she buries her head against my bare chest. "And I'm tired and horny." She sighs as she slings an arm over my chest and we both entangle our limbs as sleep comes quickly. "An' I didn't like the way she was lookin' at you."

* * *

The first thought in my mind the moment I wake up is that I'm never drinking again. My head is pounding, my mouth is dry, my body is sweaty, and unsurprisingly, my bladder is full. When I try to open up my eyes, the pain in my head shoots straight through me, causing my eyes to close once more. I lie there for a few minutes, trying to think back to the night before.

We went to a club…a lesbian club. Alex kept ordering drinks, far more than me. She was dancing with me, against me, grinding shamelessly. I can feel my body rapidly heat up as the memory of my hand sliding into her pants comes back to me. I faintly remember the redhead commenting on Alex being my girlfriend. And then we drank more. I hardly remember the cab ride back and I can't even begin to fathom how I managed to make it to my bed.

A movement against my chest brings my focus back to now. I can feel a cool hand spread out against my chest, right above my breast. I'm suddenly acutely aware of the thin leg placed between mine, a thigh way to high up my body. My left side is far more heated than my right and the hot air rushing across my neck informs me that someone—hopefully Alex—is lying next to me.

I finally force my eyes open, a head of blonde hair filling my vision as I sigh in relief. For a moment I feared that I might wake up with the redhead from the night before whose name I can't recall. As I continue looking down at her, my relief quickly turns into panic as I realize the bedsheet is tangled around our knees, both of our legs completely exposed.

My eyes immediately return to my top half, zooming in on my bare chest minus my bra which is no longer properly supporting my breasts. Alex's naked back causes me to evaluate her, my eyes sliding down to the top of her lacy red thong before slipping down to her pale rear.

A pressure in my lower abdomen causes me to focus once more on my full bladder. Alex is draped across my body, practically on top of me, and certainly not making this any easier on me.

By the looks of our attire, something happened last night, something that I can't even remember. I rack my brain, desperate to remember how we wound up nearly naked in my bed. I can faintly recall her lying down on my bed and then I was on top of her, pulling her jeans off. My eyes widen as I lean up instinctively, accidentally making Alex roll off of me.

She groans, as expected, her hands immediately reaching for her head as she runs them across her face. "What?" She mumbles as she rubs her eyes before pulling away, blue eyes fluttering open before she squints at me. She sighs once she notices me, sinking her head back into the mattress. "It's too early," She murmurs as she attempts to grab onto my pillow but it has since migrated to the floor.

She grumbles softly as she opens up her eyes again, her leg sliding upward between my legs until it bumps up way too high. She blinks a couple of times as she looks at me and then down to her leg. "Sorry," She apologizes as she quickly moves her leg away from mine and curls up on her side. "Liv, go back to sleep."

"I—" I can't think of a suitable response as I slip out of my bed. "I have to go to the bathroom," I mutter as I walk toward the bathroom. Once I'm inside, I sigh in relief as I close the door, immediately turning on the sink and splashing water over my face in an attempt to wake myself up. It seems as if she either didn't recognize that we were both missing the majority of our clothing or she just didn't care. Does she remember what happened?

After relieving myself and refreshing myself once more, I return to my bedroom, tiptoeing in hopes to not alert her of my presence. Of course, the moment I get close to the bed, her eyes flash open as she looks at me as she leans up, propping her head on one hand.

She looks at me for a second before she glances down, her eyes trailing down my body. I suddenly feel self-conscious being so exposed in front of her but she doesn't say anything. Instead, she sucks her bottom lip between her teeth and chews on it for a second before looking back up at me.

For a second I think she's going to say something about the way we were tangled together half naked. "I think we drank too much last night," She says, finally breaking the silence as she drops back down onto my bed, sighing as she rolls onto her back. "God my head hurts."

"You're the one who convinced me to get wasted with you last night," I state as I walk over to my dresser, pulling out a pair of my jeans and one of my shirts after a bit of digging since both of our clothes are combined in the drawers.

"Yeah." She drags out the word, sighing as she does. "I might have an alcohol problem," She jokes as she rolls over in her bed so that she's facing me. When I turn back to look at her, her eyes are on me. "We always seem to get drunk when we're together."

"Can't say we ever went out to a club together before though," I offer up as I pick up my clothes and hold them under my arm. "Can I shower?"

"Yeah, let me go to the bathroom first," She replies as she slides out of bed and walks over to the bathroom. I can't seem to avert my eyes and instead they zone in on her firm ass which isn't covered up much by her lacy thong.

She exits a few minutes later, her hair tied up in a loose ponytail and _my_ robe wrapped around her body, obstructing my view. "Bathroom is all yours. I'm going to start some coffee." I can feel myself smiling as I watch her walk away in my robe.

Once she's gone, I gratefully slip into the bathroom once more. The water feels good beating down on me, washing away the scent of alcohol and sweat on my body. I imagine we were sweaty leaving the club and it probably only got worse when we returned to my apartment. I can't quite recall everything that happened once we were in bed together but I can still feel her on my lips. How we managed to stop whatever we started last night, I don't know, but I find myself thankful that we did. It's obvious that Alex doesn't feel the same way that I feel and I don't ever want to risk what we have over a drunken night—no matter how fun it might be.

After far too long in the shower, I finally exit and dress myself, the smell of coffee luring me out to the kitchen. She smiles as she hands me a cup, my robe which is slightly larger on her splitting at the top to show me the valley down her breasts. "Thanks," I murmur as I sip down the hot liquid, hoping that she'll pass off my blush as a reaction to the heat.

"Mhm," She hums softly as she sets her own cup down and tugs at the edges of her—my robe. "I'm going to go shower. I already whisked some eggs and set the pan on the stove for breakfast." I glance over and catch sight of the bowl and pan alongside a loaf of bread.

"I'll have breakfast ready when you get out then," I tell her as she smiles and heads out of my kitchen, toward my bedroom.

Ten minutes later, I have fried bacon already sitting out on a plate while I scramble the eggs and toast the bread. I'm surprised when I feel a body pressed up against my back and I feel Alex's chin rest on my shoulder. She reaches around me and snatches a piece of bacon before pulling away.

"You just can't stay away from bacon can—" I pause as I turn around and see her still wrapped up in one of my towels, her hair wet and dripping down her chest.

"Nope," She replies as she leans up against the counter. "You might want to stir the eggs." I pull my eyes away from her body and turn my attention back to breakfast. "The smell lured me out here."

"Yeah, I can tell," I tease her as I turn down the heat and continue stirring the eggs. "Go get changed and breakfast will be ready when you come back out." I glance up at her and she has a frown on her face before she leaves once more.

She returns mere minutes later in a pair of her cotton shorts and my shirt, oddly enough considering she has about five of her own in my dresser. She snatches another piece of bacon before rummaging through my cabinets and pulling out two plates. "Jeez, are you going to leave any bacon for me?" I tease as she hands me a plate.

"I know you made extra bacon just for me," She returns with a grin as she snags another piece and puts it on her plate. I smile as I put eggs on her plate as well before grabbing the toast. I certainly did make extra bacon for her—hell, I never really kept bacon in my fridge until I learned how much she liked it.

"Maybe I made it for me," I counter as we both bring our plates over to my table, sitting down across from each other.

"Yeah right," She replies as she smirks at me. "You love me too much to eat my bacon." Yes, I certainly do like her far more than I should…

We finish eating in relative silence before Alex looks at me expectantly. "Are you going to finish that?" I glance down at my plate which has the last piece of bacon residing on it. I look up at her and laugh, shaking my head in response.

She leans over and snags it off of my plate before biting a piece off of it. "God, Cabot how the hell do you stay that skinny?" I question as I look her up and down as if to prove my point. She grins as she takes another bite of it and shrugs.

"I run. Speaking of which, we should start running together in the mornings," She suggests as she finishes off her bacon.

"Yeah maybe on the few days that we don't wake up with hangovers?" I tease, even though we hardly ever get drunk together, it just seems like it.

"Five am runs?"

"Ha, six am," I counter as I stand up from the table and gather both of our plates.

"Baby," She quips as she walks over to my cabinets and pulls out a glass before filling it up with water. Sometimes it surprises me with how comfortable she is in my apartment. I can't remember the last time I felt so at ease with someone here with me.

"Like you'd be able to get out of bed at five am."

"I would! After I make you get up first and start the coffee for me," She teases as she watches me for a few seconds. "Do you want to go to an art gallery this evening? There's a new one opening about twenty minutes from here and I kind of wanted to go."

"Wow are you inviting me on a date, Cabot?" I tease her as I place our dishes in my dishwasher before turning back to her.

"Depends, are you going to come home with me after?"

"Don't I always?" She grins as she leaves my kitchen and heads toward my bedroom. She returns with her hair brushed and up in a loose ponytail.

"I'll pick you up at six?" She questions as she walks over to the door with me following her. I nod in response as she unlocks my door and opens it. "By the way, I'm stealing this shirt." I glance down at the NYPD logo as she slips out of my apartment and starts walking down the hallway.

"Guess you owe me one of yours now," I call out to her as she walks away.

"You can have my Harvard law shirt!" She replies, knowing full well that I'd never wear her Ivy League shirt.

"You're a pain in the ass, Cabot!" I yell back at her just as she slips into the elevator.

"But you love me anyway," She says just as the elevator doors shut, stopping me from saying anything else to her. That I certainly do…


	18. Chapter 18

The steady clicking of heels causes a smile to erupt on my face as I bite my lip in a useless attempt to mask my excitement. "Counselor," I say as I look up just as she's settling against the edge of my desk, her eyes on me. I take a moment to run my eyes over her body, a favorite pastime of mine. It seems as if her skirts always rise up just a _little_ bit more every time she leans against my desk revealing more of her creamy thighs. It's not like I don't see them often enough considering she loves parading around her apartment—and mine—in _very_ short shorts.

"Good afternoon Detective Benson," She says as she flashes me a grin, as if she knows, before leaning back against my desk and turning to look at Elliot for a second. He glances up before looking back down at his desk. "Any updates on Redding's case?"

"He signed a full confession," Elliot deadpans, causing both of us to focus our attention on him. "We'd call you if something happened, _Counselor._ " I shoot Elliot a glare and he simply shakes his head at me before looking back down.

"Ignore him, apparently he's in a pissy mood," I explain to Alex, loud enough for him to hear me. "And unfortunately, no update on the case. He wasn't in his apartment or any of his known haunts."

She purses her lips as she looks up over my head. "Okay, let me know if you need anything from me," She says as she pushes off of my desk and straightens up, her hands naturally running down her thighs to make sure that her skirt isn't wrinkled. God what I'd give to be able to do that for her… She places her hand on the back of my chair and leans down, positioning her face near my ear. "Come over tonight?" She whispers, just loud enough for me to hear.

"Of course, Counselor," I reply as she straightens back up again and I smile at her. I don't waste the opportunity to watch her leave in her tight skirt, her hips swaying oh so seductively. How does anyone manage to listen to her in the courtroom?

Once she's out of sight, I turn back to Elliot who is glancing up at me. "What the hell is your problem today?" I ask him with a bit of an edge.

" _She_ is my problem," Elliot replies simply, looking back down at his paperwork.

"What is that supposed to mean?" I question, my temper flaring.

"Why so defensive? Did you fall under the spell of the Ice Queen as well?" I stare at him like he's an idiot and I shake my head in disbelief. "Come on Liv, you spend more time with her than you do me and we work together! What'd she do to you?"

"She didn't do anything to me," I counter as I shake my head at him, frustrated beyond belief. What the hell was his problem with her? I can't help but wonder if he still has feelings for me; I haven't asked and he hasn't said anything more about his home life in months.

"Well then why the hell do you act like you're dating her or something?"

I frown in response to his question, for once unsure how to respond. "Because I like her and I haven't had a female friend in a long time. We just get along and if you think that two girls just hanging out qualifies as dating, you need to get your head checked."

"So she hasn't done anything to you?"

"What the hell would she do to me?" I snap at him, anger boiling back up.

"Come on Liv. She acts just like Abbie did around you! I didn't think much about Carmichael until I saw her making out with a _woman_."

"You act like it's a disease," I mutter, shaking my head at him. He opens up his mouth to speak but I cut him off. "Don't you dare."

He holds up his hands in surrender and sighs as he leans back against his chair. "Look, I just don't want to see anything happen to you, okay? I care about you."

"If you cared about me you'd want me to be happy and she makes me happy," I counter, the words flowing out of my mouth without reserve.

"See! You say shit like that and it sounds like you want to sleep with her or something!"

I sigh as I close my eyes for a moment, taking a deep breath. "I don't—" I pause, unable to finish that sentence and admit to myself everything I've been denying for months.

I _do_ want to sleep with her but that's not all. I want to wake up next to her in the mornings, her hair messy and her eyes hazy from sleep. I want to kiss her in the mornings even before she brushes her teeth and I want to make her coffee every morning. I crave her in the most innocent of ways…and then some not so innocent ways. "I don't know where you're getting all these crazy thoughts from, El, but she just thinks of me as a friend. That much I know."

He eyes me up for a couple of seconds before looking back down at his paperwork. "Whatever you say, Liv."

* * *

For some reason I can't help but feel a bit guilty as I walk up the stairs to Alex's apartment later that night. I chose the stairs over the elevator like normal and it gave my mind a moment to think, exactly what it doesn't need to do.

When I arrive at her door, my hand poised to knock, I hesitate. I'm not sure why but my hand drops back down, sinking into my pocket which contains my own apartment key. Without looking, I feel around the keys before touching the newest addition to my keychain, _her_ key. She had given it to me last week after we visited an art gallery together as per her insistence.

It wasn't something I'd normally do, and never have done with a significant other—damn it, Benson, you're not dating her. Either way, it was refreshing to go with her and enjoy quite a few miraculous pieces of artwork.

I toy with the key a second longer, remembering that she had handed me the key without any strings attached. She simply said that no one has her key and she felt like it might be a good idea in case of emergency. Of course, she ended that with a simple statement of 'I trust you.'

I finally manage to pull my hand out of my pocket and I bring it up to knock, only to have her door opened before I have the chance. "Someone looks deep in thought," She comments, a small smile on her lips as she pulls me into her apartment and shuts the door behind us.

"Yeah, sorry. Just thinking about a case," I smoothly reply, a lie that I often got away with because it wasn't often that I was talking with someone I worked with.

"Oh?" She questions as she leads me to the kitchen. "What case?"

"Redding's," I lie considering it's the only open cases that we have at the moment.

She hums softly in understanding as she pulls open her oven and peeks in before closing it once more. "I made lasagna by the way. I figured you wouldn't eat before you came over like always."

I smile in response, placing my hand on her lower back as I lean down to peek in the oven through the glass. "That's because I know you'll feed me," I tease as I stand up once more, my hand still residing on her back.

"Well, I have to keep my detective well fed," She replies smoothly as she grabs onto a pot holder but doesn't move away from my touch, surprisingly enough.

"Your detective?" I question as I raise an eyebrow at her just as she's opening up the oven door. Her cheeks turn red immediately, whether it's from the heat or my question, I'll never know. By the time she extracts the glass dish from the oven and sets it on a cooling rack, her cheeks are no longer flushed.

"I like to think of you guys as _my_ detectives. I was hired to keep you all in line, after all," She teases as she winks at me.

"Ha ha…very funny," I reply as I reach up to her cabinets from behind her, coincidently pinning her to the counter. I grab out two plates with one hand while my other rests on the counter next to her waist. "I'm pretty sure I can get anything I want from you, Counselor," I whisper into her ear before completely pulling away from her and setting the plates to the side.

She smirks at me as she grabs a knife and starts cutting the lasagna into servable segments. "Funny, you couldn't seem to get a warrant from me last week." I roll my eyes as I playfully swat her rear with the back of my hand, causing her jump in surprise. "Hey! I'm holding a knife, Liv, don't mess with me!" She turns around, moving it side to side as if to ward me off.

"What are you gonna do? Stab me?" I tease as I grab onto her hips and slowly turn her back around so that she can finish cutting the lasagna.

"I considered it," She jokes as she finished cutting it up and grabs onto a serving spatula. "But then I wouldn't have anyone to go camping with me this weekend." My eyes flash up from the food to land on expectant blue ones. "I know this is kind of sudden but I really want to get away from the city for the weekend and I used to go camping about two hours away from here as a teenager and I thought it might be fun if we—"

"I'd love to go with you."

"—went together but don't feel pressured into—" She pauses as she looks at me in surprise. "Wait, you would?" She questions, once my words caught up with her.

"Of course, it sounds like a nice relaxing girl's getaway. And I just so happen to be rather skilled with an axe and a box of matches." A weekend alone together sounds amazing. Hell, maybe I'll even finally admit my feelings for her…

"Good because I can't start a fire for my life. Fishing, I can do. Pitching a tent, I can manage. Gathering sticks, definitely a pro at that. But starting a fire? Yeah, I'd have better luck finding a wood burning stove in the middle of the forest."

I laugh at her as I shake my head. "You're such a dork sometimes, Lex."

"Lex?" She questions, a small smile appearing on her lips. I look at her in confusion. "You only ever call me that when you're drunk," She says as she chuckles softly.

"Oh, sorry. I won't call you that if you don't—"

"No, it's fine," She cuts me off as she offers me a reassuring smile. "I just haven't been called that since I was a little girl."

"It makes you sound innocent," I tease as I nudge her.

"Hey! I am innocent," She counters as she shoulders me out of the way and grabs onto a plate, dishing a piece of lasagna on it.

"Yeah right Ms. I went down on a twenty-four year old when I was eighteen."

"That wasn't even my first time," She says with a wide grin as she hands me a plate and takes the other empty one. "And it's not like you're much better than me! You slept with your coworker—two of your coworkers! You slept with Abbie!"

" _We_ slept with Abbie," I correct as I take my plate over to her peninsula once she dishes up her own food.

"She wasn't my coworker," She counters as she sits down next to me.

"Wait." I pause as I try to figure out how Alex and Abbie managed to cross paths if it wasn't through work. "Who slept with her first?"

"Me," She mumbles as she takes a bite of her food, stopping her from expanding on her response. I look at her expectantly as I wait for her to swallow her food. "I slept with her in college." I continue staring at her, raising my eyebrow. "Do I have to explain?" She whines as she sets down her fork.

"Uh, yeah. Now I'm curious. How did that even happen?"

She groans as she covers her face in embarrassment. "We were at the same club one night and she was a friend of a friend. We ended up dancing and somehow we were drunk enough to think that it was okay to do it against the wall."

"In a club?!" I exclaim, my jaw dropping as I try to imagine Alex having sex in a public place.

"Not like that! We just—well, she just put her hand in my pants and I don't think anyone saw but oh god I'm still embarrassed," She mutters as she shakes her head, burying her face in her hands once more.

"Wow, quite the exhibitionist, are we?" I tease but she doesn't respond. "I'm just messing with you, Alex. We've all done stupid stuff like that before. Hell, Abbie and I were both drunk when we had sex and that happened in the DA's office because she recited the wrong address to the cab driver."

She finally looks up at me, her cheeks still flustered but a smile now on her lips. "Are you serious?"

"Unfortunately," I reply as I shake my head, the memories coming back to me. "We went out drinking and she invited me back to her place except she just said the wrong address for some reason. We were both too riled up to wait and she had a key so we just went to her office and well, the rest is history."

Alex lets out a throaty laugh as she tosses her head back, her entire body shaking from it. "I can't believe you two! That makes me feel a bit better." Suddenly she straightens up and turns toward me with wide eyes as her face pales.

"What?"

Alex blinks a couple of times as an unfamiliar expression crosses her face. "I took over Abbie's office when she left."

"What does that have to do with—" Shit.

"Ew, Liv!" She exclaims as she swats my shoulder. "I don't even want to know what part of my office you two did it on!"

"Couch," I murmur, just loud enough for her to hear.

"You ass," She replies as she playfully pushes me halfway off my seat. I can't help but smile as I straighten up in my seat and watch her blush.

"Oh like you haven't christened your office," I joke, only to watch her cheeks turn bright red. "Have you?" I question, eyes wide as I look at her in surprise. She simply cocks her head to the side and raises an eyebrow. "Oh you naughty girl! And you were trying to call yourself innocent…"

She smirks as she brings her hand up to her mouth, holding out a single finger that has the smallest dot of sauce on it. Her eyes stay locked onto mine as she snakes her tongue out and runs it along the length of her finger before wrapping her lips around her digit, sucking for good measure before slipping it back out of her mouth.

"I am innocent," She husks as my stomach drops, a pool of heat settling between my legs. She may be a lot of things—gorgeous, intelligent, dedicated—but she certainly _isn't_ innocent.


	19. Chapter 19

"You packed as if we're going to be experiencing an apocalypse while camping," I state with my hands on my hips as I look at the back of a SUV, one that certainly wasn't familiar to me considering Alex had only ever showed me one car of hers.

"I did not!" She replies as she walks over next to me and looks in the back of the packed SUV. "There's a tent, two sleeping bags, food for three days in the cooler, and a few extra supplies."

"Alex, you packed a small propane torch, logs, an axe, half a dozen blankets, pillows, food for _seven_ days, a blow up mattress, and that weird mini compressor to blow up the mattress!"

"Well I wasn't going to blow it up myself, Liv, it's a full size air mattress," She counters as she closes the back of the trunk.

"So when you said you used to go camping as a teen, it wasn't very often was it?" I ask her as we walk over to our respective sides of the SUV and get in.

She shoots me a sheepish grin and I start up the vehicle and back out of the parking spot. "A few times. Most of them ended up with me covered in bug bites and poison ivy."

"Bug spray!"

"Already packed it," She says as she flashes me a smug look. "I'm prepared."

"Over-prepared," I mutter as I start the long drive to our destination.

Two hours later and we're driving down a dirt road that doesn't seem to get much action. "Are you sure this is where you used to go camping?" I question for about the tenth time as I continue down the winding path with towering trees on either side.

"Yes, of course! I printed the directions right off of the forest rangers website," She explains as she shuffles the white papers in her lap, turning them to the side as she looks back up at the road. "Take a left at the fork."

"A left at the fork? It looks like the road ends," I counter as I follow her directions anyway, turning toward the left. "By the way, you never told me where you got this SUV."

She shrugs as she points toward the right. "There we go, see there's another car here too!" She says as she points toward a small black BMW.

"Yeah, someone that looks like they don't belong here," I reply as I cautiously pull up behind the car. "I swear, if they're dumping a body from their trunk I'm gonna kill you Cabot. I'm supposed to be on vacation, not arresting murderers."

"They're not dumping a body," She counters as she opens up her door before I even have the vehicle turned off.

"Alex! Get back in here, someone is in that car!" I exclaim as I notice a figure moving in the driver seat. She ignores me and walks up to the car just as I manage to jump out of the SUV, reaching for my side where no firearm is present—Alex convinced me to leave it locked in my gun case in the back.

My heart rate spikes as the BMW's door opens and someone steps out, Alex immediately being pulled toward the figure. "Alex!" I close the distance between us in milliseconds, only to be stopped dead in my tracks as a familiar dark-haired woman smirks at me.

"Well howdy Detective Benson!" Abbie Carmichael drawls as she releases her hold on Alex, one arm remaining around her waist. "I take it blondie didn't tell you that I was coming."

"You always did have a problem with coming without permission," I tease, causing Abbie to let out a deep laugh while Alex merely looks at us both in confusion. She glances at me with a raised eyebrow.

"I'll tell you that story tonight, Cabot," Abbie states as she smirks at me, winking.

"No you won't," I counter, my cheeks heating up from embarrassment. I can't believe I even let that one slip with Alex right next to her…

"Oh we'll see about that," Abbie replies as she leans back down into the BMW and says something indistinguishable. "Ladies, meet Ryan," Abbie says as she straightens up and looks across the hood of the car just as a man steps out. I evaluate him for a second; he's tall, roughly six feet with dark brown hair cut short much like a marine would. His jaw is strong and his eyes are a light grey and his thin lips finally curve up into a smile as he looks over at us. "Ryan here works with me and needed to get away from the office for a bit."

"Nice to meet you…" He says as he walks over to me, extending a large hand.

"Olivia Benson, NYPD detective," I say, shaking his hand firmly so that he knows I mean business.

"Wow, you weren't kidding," Ryan states as he glances back at Abbie before turning to me once more. "Abbie said that you'd be challenging my manhood," He teases as he turns to Alex. "And you must be Alexandra Cabot then."

"Please, call me Alex," She replies as she holds out her hand for him. He takes it, shaking it much more gently than he did mine before releasing it.

"Well it's a pleasure to meet you Alex," He says smoothly as he flashes her a smile, his white teeth prominent.

"Don't even bother, Ryan. I already slept with both of them."

"Abbie!"

"Carmichael!" Alex and I both exclaim at the same time as we glare at her.

"What? We're going to be sharing living quarters with each other for two days so we might as well be honest," Abbie says as she shrugs.

" _You_ two are sharing living quarters," Alex replies as she grabs onto my arm and pulls me toward her. "Liv and I are sleeping together."

"Damn Benson, you move fast," Abbie states as she winks at me, both Alex and I looking at her in confusion. "But you better have brought a gag or something for her because I want to get some sleep and not stay up all night because Cabot can't control herself."

"Abbie! I am _not_ that noisy," Alex counters as she glares at her friend.

"And Alex didn't mean sleeping with me in _that_ way, Carmichael. Get your mind out of the gutter," I tell her as I roll my eyes at her.

"Mhm," She hums as she walks over to the trunk and pops it. "Whatever you two say." She pulls out two bags and hands them over to Ryan who is waiting with open hands.

Alex and I both walk over to the SUV and pop the back. "And that is why I packed so much stuff," She replies as she grabs out two large green packs. "Two tents, food for four of us including a marine who eats like he's been starved his entire life, and sleeping supplies for all of us."

I nod in understanding as I start taking things from her and setting them on the side of the vehicle so that we can bring everything over to our campsite at once. I pause as I look at the remaining supplies. "But you only brought two sleeping bags," I state as I pick them up, noting that I didn't see any in Abbie's trunk.

"I didn't have four so that's why I brought the blow up mattress, pillows, and blankets," She says as she points to them.

"Where am I sleeping, the floor?" I ask as I try to search for a third sleeping bag.

"No, of course not," She says as she points to the blow up mattress. "We're going to share a tent and we'll both sleep on the mattress."

"It's a full Alex, not a king like at your apartment."

"Well then I guess we're snuggling," She quips as she grabs onto a couple of bags and starts walking through the woods. No, a king size bed is bad enough with Alex. A full? That's just asking for unnecessary touching and Abbie's tent is going to be right next to us so even if I wanted to finally break the tension between us I can't…Fuck. And there's no private bathroom for me to escape to in order to relieve the tension that Alex always causes when we wind up with our limbs entangled. Double fuck.

* * *

The majority of the afternoon is spent transporting our supplies over to our camping spot and setting up our tents. Abbie requested that our tent be at least ten feet away from her because she wanted to get some sleep and not hear Alex moaning all night—the opposite of what I'd like.

Once we managed to pitch tents and collect brush and small branches, I convinced Alex to let me start a fire without her mini torch. It took a few tries but I finally managed to catch the twigs on fire before I placed larger pieces over it. In no time, we had a decent size fire burning with Abbie and Ryan sitting around it on logs.

I glance back at them, noticing that Alex was now walking over to me. I turn away from her, setting another log on my make shift stand before pulling the axe back and smashing it into the wood, splitting it clear in half. I found it relaxing to hit things with an axe, especially after setting up our tent with Alex, her body always moving a bit too closely to mine.

"Wow, I never realized how muscular your arms are." I pick up the split log and toss the pieces into the pile before turning back to a grinning Alex. "I can see your muscles flexing in that shirt," She says as her eyes trail along my shoulders and down my arms.

"Have to stay fitter than the perps," I respond as I shrug. I reach down for another log and set it on the platform.

"Can you show me how to do that?" I pause as I turn back to her. "I could never cut a log in half despite my attempts. I always seem to miss and cut off the bark."

"Well, that's a skill on its own," I tease as I stand up straight and gesture for her to come closer. She happily walks up next to me and stares down at the axe. "It's easy enough if you have decent aim." I pick up the axe and hold it out to her.

She hesitantly takes it, the head of the axe lowering a foot as she tries to balance it. "It's heavier than I thought and I'm the one who packed it," She teases as she picks it back up.

"Hands here," I explain as I point along the base. I walk behind her, placing my hands on her hips as I guide her in front of the log. "Now you're going to lift it up but not over your back." My front naturally presses up against her back as I help her raise her arms. "Now let gravity do the work for the first cut. Don't try to slam it down because then you'll go sideways. Let gravity pull it straight down."

"What if I hit my foot with the axe?" She suddenly asks as she moves a step back. I laugh at her as I push her forward once more with my body.

"I'll guide you for the first one, okay?" She nods as she relaxes against my body when my hands rest on top of hers. "Just relax." I start lowering the axe and gravity takes over, guiding the head of the axe through the center of the log. "See, not too bad."

She looks down at the partially split log. "You split it clear in half. I only split it part way," She says as she points to the log.

"Most times it takes a couple of strikes to cut a log unless you know how to do it. Why don't you give it a try now," I suggest as I take a step back.

She smiles as she looks at me before turning back to the log. "I kind of liked you helping me," She says softly as she raises up the axe and brings it down, skimming the side of the log and breaking off some bark. "See? I'm horrible at it," She replies as she frowns.

I shake my head as I walk back over to her, settling behind her. "You're not horrible, you just need to let gravity do the work because you're moving the axe sideways," I explain as I place my hands on top of her once more, lining up the axe before bringing our hands up. "Let it go." She does and both of our hands follow the axe down, the log splitting completely in half now. "See?"

"Thank you," She says as I grab the logs and set them in my pile. I put another one up for her and step to the side. "Maybe you could help me with this one too? At least until I get the hang of it," She says as she picks up the axe.

"Sure." I can't help but smile as I stand behind her once more, my hands wrapping on top of hers. I can feel her rear pushing back up against me as she brings the axe up once more. We bring it down together, this time splitting the log clear in half but I'm too focused on the way her ass is pressing up against my body to notice.

"Thanks," She states as she places the axe down and I release my hold on her. "I just realized I forgot the bug spray in the car," She says as she swats around her at a mosquito. "I'll be right back."

I nod in response as I gather some of my split logs and bring them over to the fire. "What were you and Alex up to?" Abbie asks as she watches me add them to the fire.

"I was just showing her how to split logs," I explain as I poke at the fire with a stick, turning over the embers so that the new longs will catch.

"Why? She's an expert at splitting logs. She does it every time we go camping," Abbie replies before she breaks out into a smile.

"What? She said she always misses and cuts off the bark," I explain, looking at her in confusion. It was obvious that Alex didn't know how to cut up logs.

"Well if she said so, it must be true," Abbie states as she wiggles her eyebrows, a grin still residing on her face as she looks over my shoulder. "Welcome back, Cabot. Your dehydrated camping food is ready." Abbie picks up a large blue pack and hands it over to me.

I pick it up and hand it over to Alex. "Awh, you made her some but none for me, Carmichael?" I tease as I sit down on a log that Alex had set up for us earlier.

"I figured we could both share since we ate before we came here," Alex replies as she drags her log over to me and sits down. "Abs, spoons?" Abbie turns around and rummages through a bag before handing one over. "Two would be helpful…"

"I dropped one in the dirt," Abbie explains as she grins, telling me that there's a good chance that she's lying.

"Good job," Alex teases as she opens up the food that has been rehydrating in water. She stirs it around and takes a bite before handing the spoon over to me.

"Are you fine with me using your spoon?" I question and she immediately nods in response.

"Of course, since Abbie is a klutz. I'll clean them later so that you we won't have to share for every meal." Not that I would mind… I take a bite of the watery chicken and rice mixture before handing it back over to her. We continue switching off until we're both full, neither of us the least bit bothered that we're practically swapping spit.

Once we're done eating, I start beating down the fire and Alex disappears, rummaging through supplies. She returns a few minutes later with a bag, box, and a small wrapper in her hand. "Can't go camping without s'mores," She says with a grin as she holds up graham crackers, chocolate, and marshmallows.

"Someone certainly knows how to camp!" Ryan exclaims as he grabs onto some sticks and passes them around so that we have something to roast our marshmallows on. Within minutes, we all have marshmallows roasting while we share random stories.

"And then he looked at me, eyes wide, and says, 'I think I shit my pants, man.'" We all break out in laugher as Ryan concludes his story about a drunk marine buddy of his.

"I can't say I have any stories like that," Abbie comments as she shakes her head, still laughing. "But I can tell you an embarrassing story about Alex!"

"No!" The blonde immediately exclaims as she glares at Abbie.

"Hell yes," I reply as I smirk at Alex. She leans over and pushes me slightly as she glares at me.

"Too bad, Cabot. Okay, so if you don't know, I met Alex in college when we were at a club with a bunch of our friends," Abbie starts explaining.

"Don't you dare!" Alex squeals as she blushes, about ready to lunge at Abbie.

"Calm down, Cabot. I'm not going to tell them _that_ story," Abbie teases. "Now, as I was saying, we had a habit of going out together to clubs and doing stupid shit that I will save for another story because I'm pretty sure Alex will kill me if I tell that story."

"I most certainly will," Alex agrees.

"Anyway, one time this guy kept hitting on Alex and he was totally obnoxious to the point where he kept trying to touch her and she kept pushing him away. Finally she got fed up when he pushed her up against the bar and started grinding on her ass—"

"Abbie! Shortened version, please," Alex interrupts as she blushes.

"Ugh, fine, you're no fun. So she turned around and started flirting with him and I was so fucking confused because just a few seconds earlier she was disgusted with him! Then she asked him innocently if she could borrow his phone to let her roommate know that she wouldn't be going back to their room that night. Of course he was such a horndog that he handed over his phone and allowed her to step aside while she used it."

Abbie pauses as she starts laughing. "So I walk over to her and I hear her saying in the phone, 'I just wanted to let you know that your son is obnoxiously drunk at a bar and insistent on forcing himself on women.' Cabot fuckin' called his mom and ratted him out! It was so funny! I was literally laughing my ass off that I almost pissed myself. God it was the funniest thing ever because when she gave him his phone back, he put it up to his ear and you could hear his mom yelling at him!"

"Props to you, Alex," Ryan calls from across the fire as he holds up his marshmallow in some form of a salute.

"Yeah, well he was a dick," Alex rationalizes as she glances over at me, making eye contact. I'm still smiling at the thought of Alex doing that to an asshole and I have to admit I'm proud of her. It takes a lot of guts for women to stand up to such douchebags but she doesn't seem fazed. She never does. "Uh Liv?" I shake away my thoughts as I look at her. "Your marshmallow is on fire."

"Shit," I grumble as I pull it away from the fire, blowing on it in an attempt to extinguish the flame. By the time I do, it completely black and it slides off of the stick before plopping onto the floor. "Oops."

Alex laughs at me as she withdraws her perfectly roasted marshmallow from the flame and gets up to grab some crackers and chocolate. When she returns with a s'more, she walks over to her chair but pauses before taking a step back. I look at her curiously as she walks over to me and sits down on my lap without reserve.

I can hear a snicker from Abbie as Alex rests her legs perpendicular to mine, one arm wrapping around my shoulder as she holds out her s'more for me. "Is there a reason you're in my lap?" I tease as I look up at her even though I certainly don't mind. I can't say she has ever done this with me before but the feeling of her weight on top of me is delirious.

"Pretty sure I saw a spider on mine," She replies with a shrug as she brings her s'more up to my mouth. "Take a bite since you burned yours." I do as I'm told, knowing it's futile to argue with her when it comes to eating—hell pretty much anything.

I moan softly in approval, my way of thanking her since my mouth is currently full with marshmallow-y chocolate goodness. She grins as she moves the arm she has around my neck and uses her thumb to swipe across my lip where I know some marshmallow had stuck.

Once I finish chewing, I laugh at her. "You're going to have sticky fingers now," I joke, referring to the marshmallow now on her thumb.

She grins, almost wickedly, as she brings her thumb up to her mouth and sucks on it before pulling it out to show me that the marshmallow is gone. "They're not sticky anymore unless you plan on spilling some more," She teases.

I shake my head as I laugh at her before grabbing onto her wrist, bringing the s'more up to her mouth. She opens up her mouth, allowing me to guide the s'more but before she has the chance to bite down on it, I push it to the side, smearing marshmallow across her cheek. "Liv!" She exclaims as she pulls back, looking at me in shock. "Ew," She whines as she swipes some of it off with her fingers. "My cheek is sticky now!"

"I could lick it off," I tease as I stick my tongue out at her as if to prove my point.

"You're gross," She jokes as she laughs at me, looking down at her marshmallow covered fingers. I grin as I grab onto her wrist and bring her fingers to my mouth, sucking on the gooey substance. She doesn't move an inch as I swipe my tongue across her fingers, separating them as I clean off the rest of the marshmallows. She's practically speechless when I guide her fingers out of my mouth.

Finally, she laughs as she wipes her wet fingers on my shoulder. "Ew, now I have your cooties on me."

"You weren't complaining earlier when we were sharing a spoon," I quip as one of my arms naturally finds its way around her lower back and the other rests on her thigh. She seems content as she eats the rest of her s'more, neither of us saying much. When I look up, I finally notice that both Abbie and Ryan are gone and there is a low glow coming from tent. I have no clue when they left.

After a while, Alex settles against my body, one arm around my shoulders as we both look up at the starry sky. "There are so many," she whispers as she presses her body closer to mine, her free hand settling against my abdomen. "I can never see the stars in the city because it's never dark enough. I think that's the real reason why I go camping."

"To see the stars?"

She's quiet for a beat before nodding. "They're beautiful."

 _Just like you._

I can faintly see her blue eyes sparkling as the moonlight reflects against them. "The last time I came out here was almost ten years ago." I stay quiet, my thumb drawing random patterns on her thigh in an attempt to tell her that I'm listening. "I brought a boy."

She remains quiet for a few minutes as we both look up at the stars. I know she doesn't want me to question her; she'll talk when she's ready. "He was a family friend, a guy that my father had encouraged I go out with. I didn't have the courage to stand up to my father so instead when Robert asked me to go camping with him, I agreed."

She shifts slightly in my arms, sinking down a bit until her head is resting against my shoulder and her arm is around my waist instead. My hand migrates lower, this time wrapping around the outside of her thigh so that she won't fall off of my lap.

"Of course Robert considered it a date. Apparently my father had told him that I was interested in him. Robert explained this all to me after—" She pauses as she scoffs quietly. "In less words, my father basically told Robert that he had his permission to sleep with me."

I resist the urge to clench my fists since they're comfortably wrapped around Alex's body. "So when we were in the tent at night and he crawled on top of me and started kissing me, I didn't resist." I close my eyes as I start stroking the outside of her thigh again. "I let it happen because deep down I thought that maybe I'd be able to have a relationship with a man and then my father would love me."

I swallow down roughly as I feel my eyes sting ever so slightly at the thought of Alex thinking her father didn't love her. "He was a good friend, a wonderful man. I told him that it was my first time since it was—with a man at least. He was gentle enough but it still hurt. I refused to talk to him the entire drive home because I was so ashamed of myself. I let someone have sex with me when I had absolutely no feelings toward them."

I slowly start rubbing my hand up and down her thigh as my other hand migrates toward her back, my fingertips brushing underneath her shirt so that I can touch skin to skin. She sighs softly in response, relaxing completely in response to my touch.

"He's married now with five kids and he's a wonderful father and husband. He invites me over sometimes for dinner with his family," She says and I can hear the smile as she speaks. "I didn't want you to think he was a bad man."

"Is it hard for you to stay here?" I ask quietly, wondering how far away the nearest hotel is. Hell, I wouldn't care if she asked me to drive her home right now; I'd drive a thousand miles in the dead of the night if it made her feel more comfortable.

"You know, this used to be one of my favorite places to camp when I was younger. Sometimes my father would take me here when he wasn't so busy working but that was when I was five or so. I had so many good memories here up until I came here with Robert. And I think," She pauses as she leans up slightly so that she can look at the stars. "I think that I just wanted to have more good memories here."

She finally turns to face me, her eyes shining more than they were earlier but there are no traces of tears on her cheeks. "That's why I asked you to come with me this time," She whispers softly as her lips curl up into the most beautiful smile that I've ever seen before.

I smile in response, pulling her back down so that she's leaning against me once more. We stay there for a while, maybe minutes, maybe hours, but neither of us care. The fire has since died out and our fellow campers' tent is no longer illuminated from the inside.

The crickets are chirping, the full moon is beaming, and hundreds of stars are flickering at us as we stay cuddled up on a small log that is way too uncomfortable but having her in my arms makes it worth it.

Reluctantly, I release my grip around her waist as she starts pulling away from me. "We should probably get some sleep," She says softly as she stands up and holds out her hand for me. I take it and she pulls me up before both of us walk over to our tent.

I'm grateful that I had pumped up the mattress earlier and set out all of the blankets and pillows. Both of us are cold when we slip underneath the covers. We're both laughing as we try to settle onto the mattress without bouncing the other too much.

When I finally turn out our lamp and move back under the covers, Alex reaches out for me, wrapping a cold arm around my waist and settling her head against my shoulder. She snuggles up against me and I somehow manage to pull the covers tight around her back, pushing them down so that the cold air won't slip under. "Thank you for coming here with me," She whispers softly. "Thank you for everything."

Doesn't she know by now that I'd do anything for her? "Thank you."

"What are you thanking me for?" She questions as she tilts her head up just a bit so that she can look at me.

I glance back down at her and smile. "Thank you for trusting me."


	20. Chapter 20

I'm jostled from my sleep as my body shakes and I hear someone whispering my name. When I open up my eyes, light is barely around the tent, indicating that it's early morning but my attention is pulled from the tent to Alex who is leaning up next to me with wide eyes. "I think there's a bear."

I look at her in confusion as I glance around, a scraping sound suddenly filling the tent and a deep huffing noise. "Liv!" Alex whispers as she immediately drops down onto the mattress and moves impossibly closer to me. "Where's your gun? Shoot it!"

The noise grows louder and part of the tent bends in. Instinctively, I roll on top of Alex, covering her with my body as my heart starts pounding. I look over to the side of the tent, trying to make out any sort of large shadow but I can't see anything. There's another deep growling sound that definitely resembles a bear and I feel Alex's hands clamp down on my shirt as she pulls me closer against her body. "Your gun!"

"Shh, just relax," I whisper as I look down at her. Her eyes are wide as she frantically looks around, waiting for another sound. "Are there normally bears in this area?"

She shakes her head. "I don't know, we've never ran into one before but I think Abbie threw her leftover food by the fire. They could've come from the smell." I grimace as I mentally berate Abbie for doing something so stupid. I'm not familiar enough with the area to be aware of bear sightings.

Something hits the tent once more, causing it to bend in. I clamp my hand over her mouth once I notice that she looks like she's about to scream. "Alex, calm down," I whisper as I try to soothe her. I have enough knowledge about bears to know that screaming certainly isn't the best course of action. Typically just talking to them in a low, commanding voice will work. "Back away," I say out loud as I glance back down at Alex, slowly removing my hand from her mouth.

She seems to relax until the tent bends in once more, far too closely for comfort. This time, I reach for my gun, struggling as I grab onto the case. "Key, where's the key?" I ask Alex as she looks at me with wide eyes.

"I think they're in my pants," She replies as all the color drains from her face. "I left them outside."

I close my eyes and take a deep breath as fight or flight starts kicking in. The tent buckles once more, loud noises flooding from outside. "Stay beneath me," I order Alex as I start talking in a commanding tone in hopes to get the bear to leave. The shaking increases and Alex grips onto me far too tightly. Suddenly, I hear a zipping noise following by a burst of laughter.

I turn my head around and see Abbie standing by the entrance, laughing as she crawls into the tent. "I scared your pathetic asses!" She cries out as she plops down on the mattress causes us to bounce slightly from the redistribution of air.

"Abbie, you asshole!" Alex screams as she tries to reach out for the Texan. I maintain my position on top of Alex, pinning her to the mattress so that she can't attack the brunette even though I kind of want her to…

"What the hell, Abbie? You almost gave me a heart attack!" I yell at her as I glare.

"Oh come on, I was playing a recording of a bear!" She says as she hold up her phone. "I can't believe you two actually thought it was a bear." She looks at us before finally paying attention to our position. "Damn, were you two trying to get it on?"

"No!" Alex and I both exclaim as I push up off of Alex, allowing the covers to fall off of my body so that she can see we're fully dressed.

"I dunno, Benson's on top of you… What am I supposed to think? She always did like to be dominant."

"Once!" I exclaim as I shove Abbie off of our mattress.

"One night, _four_ times," She replies as she quickly scrambles off of the floor and jumps up before I can grab onto her.

"I swear to god, you're dead Carmichael!" I call back to her as I groan, sinking into the mattress. "I'm going to kill her."

"I'll help you hide the body," Alex replies as she rolls over to face me. "I can't believe I freaked out like that," She groans as she buries her face against my shoulder.

"It's okay, you didn't expect a bear," I tell her as I wrap my arm around her back, allowing her to relax against my body.

She pulls away for a second as she looks up at me. "You know you put yourself at a disadvantage by trying to protect me. You wouldn't have been able to fight off the bear," She says as she looks at me with a curious expression.

I stay quiet as I look up at her. She was right; I should've prepared myself to fight back if the bear was aggressive but instead I completely exposed myself to be attacked in order to protect her. I merely shrug in response. "Guess I wasn't thinking."

She smiles at me, an innocent and sincere smile. "I think it was a bit more than that," She says softly as she presses her lips up against my cheek in a chaste kiss. "Thank you for trying to protect me against the pretend bear." She sits up on the mattress and grabs her bag from the side, pulling out her clothes for the day.

We don't say anything else to each other as we get dress in the cramped tent. I can feel her eyes on me as I change, much like I had done to her while she changed. When we're both dressed, we exit the tent and find Ryan tending to a fire with a make shift shelf for a griddle. On top of the griddle, which I'm assuming Alex brought, appear to be pancakes.

Alex narrows in on Abbie and stalks over to her, the brunette taking a step back as she holds out a plate. "Peace offering," Abbie says as she pushes the plate forward. Alex grins and I take a step closer to see a plate full of bacon.

"Bacon may save you from Alex but it won't save you from me," I growl as I walk over to Abbie, pretending to be mad. Hell, I can't be mad because her actions got me a kiss from Alex. I can still feel my cheek tingling from where she pressed her soft lips up to me.

"I surrender!" Abbie cries out as she pretends to wave a flag in her hand.

"How far away is the creek?" I ask Alex as I glance back to Abbie.

"Not that far," She replies with a mischievous grin, matching mine.

"No! Ryan, help!" Abbie cries out as I grab onto her, throwing her over my shoulder as I pretend to walk toward the creek.

"You're on your own for this one!" He calls back as he continues tending to the pancakes. "I told you it was a bad idea!" I finally let Abbie go and we both return to the campsite, surrounding Ryan as he removes the last pancake from the griddle and places it on a large plate with almost a dozen pancakes on it. "Enjoy ladies."

We all dig in, thanking Ryan for cooking as we settle around the campfire once more, at least until the cool bite of the morning leaves our bodies. "I might have to marry you, Ryan," Alex says as she moans once more as she chews on a piece of bacon. He raises an eyebrow as he looks at me curiously.

"She really likes her bacon," I explain, everyone breaking out into laughter expect Alex who looks embarrassed.

"Shut it Benson!" She glares at me. "You could take notes from him, you know," She states as she waves a piece of bacon around.

"Hey, you said my bacon was your favorite!" I counter as I pretend to pout.

Her straight face cracks and she grins at me. "Yeah, yours is the best but don't let it go to your head."

"I wouldn't dream of it, Counselor."

After breakfast, we all pack day-packs in order to go for a hike that Alex said would lead to a waterfall. I convince Alex to put her supplies in my backpack so that she won't have to carry them, under the excuse that it makes more sense to share the pack and take turns carrying it.

Halfway through the hike, she calls me out on my bullshit when I refuse to let her take the bag for the tenth time. She glares at me but neither of us say anything because Ryan is carrying Abbie's stuff as well.

"Are you sure we're going in the right direction?" Abbie whines for the third time as she takes another gulp of water, stopping in place for a break.

"Positive," Alex replies as she continues walking a few more feet. "See! There it is!" We all walk over to Alex, Abbie more excited than the rest of us until we see a large shimmering pool of water with a waterfall splashing down in it.

Before we have time to say anything, Alex is already walking away from us. My jaw nearly drops as she grabs onto the hem of her shirt and pulls it up and over her head, leaving her in her sports bra. "Come on!" I grin as I glance over at Ryan who is politely averting his eye and Abbie who is not so politely gawking.

I run after Alex who has since tossed her shirt over a tree limb and is now pulling off her shoes. She tosses those to the side as well and looks up at me when I place my bag at the base of the tree. "Strip, Benson," She says as she grins at me, pulling off her socks before shoving them in her shoes.

Ryan and Abbie go underneath another tree and start taking off their clothes. I shake my head at Alex before removing my top and placing it with hers. I take off my shoes as well, following her lead and putting my socks inside of them.

When I look back up, Alex is pushing her shorts down her legs, revealing the bottoms of a black string bikini. I glare at her as I walk over. "Cheater."

She grins as she reaches toward me, hooking her fingers into my shorts and pulling them away from my body just enough for her to look down them. I don't have time to react and she smirks at me. "It's close enough to a bathing suit," She states with a grin as she starts sliding my shorts down an inch.

This time I react, grabbing onto her wrists and stopping her. "Nope, these are staying on," I tell her as I glance back over to Ryan. "You can get away with bikini bottoms and a sports bra but I'm sticking with shorts and a sports bra." When I look back at her, she almost looks like she's pouting before she grabs onto my wrist and pulls me toward the water.

Once we're near the water, she grabs onto my arm as she dips her toe into the water, testing it. I playfully push her forward before pulling back. "Olivia!" She exclaims as she wraps her arms around my body, holding tightly so that I can't push her in.

"That's not going to help you," I tease as I reach down, scooping her up in my arms with ease. She cries out as her arms abandon my torso and instead wrap around my neck, holding me tightly.

"Don't you dare!" She exclaims as I walk closer to the water. She wiggles in my arms, causing me to let go of her legs just long enough for her to wrap them around my waist. She locks her ankles behind my back and smirks once she realizes she has regained control.

"God you're like a monkey," I whine as I remove my arms from around her waist but she still stays in place wrapped around my body. I take a deep breath in an attempt to control the butterflies in the stomach which are rapidly turning into a fire in my belly.

I can feel the heat radiating from her core against my abdomen. I can feel her warm skin pressing up against every inch of mine. I can even feel her warm breath on my ear as she clings to my neck. "Well that's what you get for trying to throw me in the water," She whispers in my ear, her voice huskier than normal which sends a shot of heat straight to my core.

It takes mere seconds for my entire body to heat up as my hands instinctively reach up, cupping her ass. She doesn't say anything, however, about the location of my hands or my suddenly heated body. Images of laying her down on my bed while my hand finds its way underneath her bikini bottoms and into her heat flood my mind.

Without hesitation, I take the few remaining steps to the water, both of us splashing into the lake. I let out some air as we sink down, her arms and legs still wrapped around my body. The cool water feels amazing against my heated skin, the cold shocking away all inappropriate images of her.

Surprisingly, her legs stay wrapped around my waist but her arms disconnect, one of her hands gripping onto my shoulder while the other brushes up against my cheek. My hands instinctively hold onto her hips, my fingertips barely grazing her rear as both of her hands cup my cheeks.

Before I have time to respond, I feel something soft press up against my lips, molding to them, before her hair floats through the water and brushes up against my cheek.

My lips part without my permission, letting out more air until she presses her mouth completely over mine, stopping me from releasing any more bubbles. Her lips slide against mine without resistance in the water and it's perfect, flawless, and not sloppy like when we were drunk. It's always the way I imagined our first kiss would be.

The heat in my lower half immediately rushes back to me as I feel her mouth open to mine, her tongue brushing up against my lips before pushing between them. I can't help but sigh as her hands slide off of my cheeks and down to my chest, brushing over my breasts and pebbled nipples from the water—and her.

My hands slide down to cup her rear, massaging firm globes as I instinctively pull her tighter against me. I can feel the heat between her legs even more prominently now despite the cool water surrounding us. After a moment of our tongues tangling together, tasting each other in our purest form, she pulls away.

But her lips don't leave me completely; they slide down to my neck, following the curve of my neck down to my shoulder before she sucks firmly, causing me to lose the rest of my air. She doesn't stop, her lips continue to caress and suck at one spot in particular until I can't take it anymore. I kick up to the surface, taking her up with me as my lungs scream for oxygen.

She releases her hold on me a few feet from the surface and when I finally breathe in fresh air, she's nowhere to be seen. "I thought you two disappeared, Benson!" Abbie calls as she jumps into the water, immediately surface and crying out in response to the cold water. Ryan follows after her and she gets pulled under water before they both surface together, laughing.

"We thought you two found a cool cave or something," Abbie says as she swims over to me but looks behind me. I turn around to see Alex treading water a few feet behind me, staring off into the distance at nothing in particular. I want to swim after her. I want to confront her but not with Abbie and Ryan around.

"Uh, no," I reply as I evaluate Alex for a few seconds longer but she doesn't turn to face either of us. "We were just trying to see who could hold their breath for the longest."

"Lame," Abbie drones as she splashes me with some water. "Come on, let's go check out the waterfall." She swims toward it, Ryan following her but pausing once he gets close to me.

He glances over my shoulder before looking at me. "Is she okay?" He questions, nodding in Alex's general direction.

"Yeah," I reply without looking back. "She just doesn't like the cold," I lie as I start swimming after Abbie.

"You coming, Alex?" Ryan questions as he swims past her. I glance back to a see a faint smile on her lips covered by her fingertips as she runs them across her lips.

"Race you there," She responds as she takes off toward the waterfall, speeding past me and Ryan. He chuckles in response as he starts to swim after her but she glides flawlessly through the lake while he pushes water with him.

She beats us all, as expected, and by the time we reach her, she's already climbing onto a large rock formation that resides near the waterfall. We all follow her lead and wander over to the waterfall, ducking out heads under it and bathing in the fresh water.

After we have our fun playing around and splashing each other, we swim back to the surface. Ryan is already talking about eating a MRE that he had brought while making us suffer through dehydrated camping food. Abbie's smiling at him, telling him that he'll share as he helps lift her out of the water. I don't think she realizes that I notice how she smiles every time she's near him.

I walk over to the tree where my shirt is hanging next to Alex's and brush off the water droplets from my body. I groan, knowing I'm going to be walking back soaking wet, before giving in and pulling on my shirt despite still being wet. I grab onto my bag and walk over into the sun, hoping to dry off faster while also leaving Alex with a bit of privacy so that she can change.

As I stand under the warm sunshine, I can't help but wonder if I imagined everything underneath the water. Could I really have imagined her lips on me? Her tongue pressed up against mine? Her body flush with mine?

"What happened?" Abbie questions, her voice pulling me from my thoughts. I look at her in confusion and she plucks her reflected sunglasses off of her head, holding them even with my neck.

I glance down and immediately catch sight of the red mark on my neck where Alex had sucked earlier. Without thinking, I brush my fingers up against it causing a shiver to run down my spine as I remember the feeling of her lips pressed up against my skin. "I think I got bit by something," I lie as I shrug and turn away from Abbie, my fingers still lingering on it.

Alex catches my eye as she pulls on her t-shirt over her wet sports bra and I swear to god I see one corner of her lips twitch up into a smile before she ducks her head.


	21. Chapter 21

When we finally return to the campsite, the rest of the day is spent preparing for dinner. I start a fire like always and Ryan prepares the food. Abbie and Alex have disappeared off to somewhere, Abbie claiming that she wanted to go look for sticks.

When everyone finally returns, we eat dinner around the fire but Alex doesn't say much. She's quieter than usual, only really speaking to Abbie when the Texan initiates a conversation. I'm unsure if I should say anything to her but I know for sure I don't want to bring it up now. She still sits next to me but apparently there wasn't a spider on her log tonight.

"I think I'm going to head to bed," Alex says quietly as she stands up from her log and walks over to our tent.

I watch her as she leaves before turning back to the fire. "Whatever you did, fix it." My eyes shoot up to see Abbie looking directly at me. I open my mouth to speak but she cuts me off. "I don't care what it was, Benson, just fix it."

"You know, I'm pretty tired myself," I lie as I walk away from the campsite and over to my tent. I pull down the zipper and enter, ignoring the fact that Alex's bare back is facing me as she changes.

She doesn't say anything as she pulls on her nightshirt and turns back to me. She tosses the covers back on our makeshift bed and she migrates under them, turning on her side so that I can't see her face. "Are we going to talk about what happened?" I ask her as I watch her for a few seconds before pulling off my own shirt.

She doesn't say anything as I change but the moment I slip under the covers next to her, her body goes rigid. "I don't know," She whispers as she pulls up the covers to her neck, still facing away from me.

"Is this where you tell me that you just wanted to erase the memory of Robert or something?" I ask with a bit of an edge in my voice. I sigh in response to my tone, taking a moment to collect myself.

"No, we'd be having sex if that were the case," She says softly.

"Well then what the hell Alex?"

"I don't know, it was an accident—"

"Bullshit," I interrupt her as I lean up on the mattress and grab onto her shoulder, rolling her onto her back.

She avoids eye contact with me.

"This is the third time you've kissed me, Alex. The first time you could've blamed it on being drunk. The second time we were both wasted so you could've brushed that off as well. But this time? Neither of us were drunk and _you_ kissed me. Three times, Lex."

She sighs softly as she finally looks up at me. "I like you," She whispers as she closes her eyes for a second. "You make me feel safe and I'm so happy whenever we're together to the point where I always want to be with you. And I don't normally do stuff like this. I don't normally have friends and I definitely don't tell people my life story on a daily basis. _You_ make me want to confess all of my sins and regrets."

"What's so wrong with that?" I ask as I reach out for her, my fingertips barely grazing her temple as I push back a piece of blonde hair.

She closes her eyes in response to my touch, not opening them as she starts to speak once more. "When I was fourteen I lost my virginity. By the time I was in college I was sleeping with women ten to twenty years older than me. I slept with a man I didn't love just because I thought it would make my father happy. Are you honestly telling me there's nothing wrong with _me_?"

I sigh as I lie down next to her, turning so that I'm on my back much like her. "When I was sixteen I started dating one of my mother's college students. He proposed to me and I said yes just so that I could get away from my mother's drunken behavior. I hurt her, Alex. I physically hurt her. Then I ran. When I was in college I would sleep with a different man or woman every week. When I started my first real serious job, I slept with my coworker who I had absolutely no feelings for. Not too long ago, I let a married man kiss me." She's quiet the entire time, both of us staring up at the top of the tent. "We all make mistakes, Alex."

She's quiet for a few minutes before I feel her move slightly and her hand finds mine. I allow my hand to turn over so that her fingers can lace into mine. "I don't want this to be another mistake," She whispers so quietly I almost miss it.

"If it is…" I keep our hands together as I roll onto my side so that I can look down at her. I wait a few seconds until she finally makes eye contact with me. "It's a mistake we'll make together."

She smiles softly as she looks up at me. "You promise we're in this together?"

"I wouldn't have it any other way," I respond as I feel her free hand migrate into my hair.

She pulls me closer and I rest my hand on the opposite side over her body, our lips mere inches away. "Maybe this time you could kiss me?" She questions almost timidly but the small curve at the corner of her lips tells me that she's okay with this.

I lean down, closing the distance between until there are mere millimeters. I can feel her warm breath on my lips as her blue eyes flutter shut. "Just this once," I whisper, finally pressing my lips fully against hers. We both melt into the kiss, my brain frying as I finally feel her without any barriers. There's no water surrounding us, there's no alcohol on our breaths. It's innocent, simple and pure.

Neither of us want to pull away, that much is obvious as we drag out the kiss for as long as we can. Her hand has slipped down to my neck, pulling me closer. Our entangled hands have since migrated above her head so that I can balance myself. My other hand is supporting myself up as well but my fingers somehow managed to slip underneath her head so that they're tangled in her hair.

Reluctantly, oh so reluctantly, I pull away and she immediately gasps for air, blue eyes shooting open as she looks up at me. I smile down at her as I catch my own breath. I lean down for her once more, her lips rising as she tries to reach me, but instead I press a kiss to her forehead before pulling away. "Sleep on it," I whisper as I run my fingers through her hair once more before rolling onto my back.

Her head collapses back onto her pillow as she sighs heavily. "If you don't feel the same way tomorrow, we won't ever mention it again. I'll still be your friend and we'll have sleepovers and have dinner together if that's what you want."

"And if I still feel the same way?" She questions.

"Then kiss me."


	22. Chapter 22

When I wake up, there's an unfamiliar weight settled on top of me. I blink open my eyes in confusion only to see a smiling blonde on top of me. My hands instinctively migrate to her hips, holding onto them as if to steady her even though her lower half is flush with mine. "Last chance to pull away," She warn as she leans down closer to me.

I have no interest in turning down a kiss from her. Seconds before our lips touch, I tilt my head to the side and she pulls back in surprise. "Morning breath," I mumble in embarrassment. I'm definitely not having our first kiss as a couple with bad breath…

I look up at her in apology but she merely smirks at me. "Then I guess it's a good thing I have a breath mint," She says as she sticks out her tongue, revealing a white circle on the tip of her tongue. Before I have time to respond, her lips are on mine, both of her hands in my hair.

The feeling of her pressed up against me with her lips on mine is indescribable. I can't help myself as my hands migrate up to her back before I roll us over, pinning her on her back without breaking the kiss. My tongue slips into her mouth for mere seconds before I pull away, leaving her breathless.

"Mm," I hum softly as I smile down at her. "Minty." I stick out my tongue revealing her mint and she looks at me in surprise as she moves around her mouth, trying to figure out how I ended up with her mint.

She breaks out into a smile as she playfully slaps my shoulder. "Way to steal my mint," She teases as she wraps her hands around my neck and pulls me down for a kiss once more.

"So I take it you haven't changed your mind?" I ask once we finally break our kiss. She shakes her head in response as she reaches up her hand, tracing two fingers across my lips. I smile in response, ready to kiss those oh so kissable red lips once more when I hear Abbie's tent shaking. "We should probably get up before Abbie pretends to be a bear again."

"It's okay," She replies as I roll off of her. She leans over and holds up a set of keys. "I have the keys to your gun lock this time." I laugh in response as I sit up on our makeshift bed and reach over for her clothes. I toss a shirt and her jeans at her. "Hey!"

"Get dressed," I order as I start taking off my clothes so that I can put on new ones for today. When I turn around, I see her looking at me without any restraint, her eyes trailing down to my abdomen as I pull down my shirt.

When we finally make eye contact, she has a faint blush on her cheeks. "I guess this means I can do that without hiding it."

"Ha," I laugh at her as I pull on my jeans. "Like you ever hid it."

As I button up my jeans, she walks over to me, stopping right in front of me. When I pull my eyes up from my jeans, I see nothing but a pair of underwear and her bra as she presses up against me. "You never hid it either," She states with a wicked grin as she grips one of my arms while she leans down, grabbing a different shirt out of her bag.

I groan in response as I watch her walk away from me. "Can you blame me?"

Once we're both dressed, we go outside, surprised to find neither Abbie nor Ryan by the fire. "What time is it?" I ask as I walk over to the fire, poking at the few remaining embers from the night before.

"I guess we got up a little early," Alex states as she walks over to me. "It's almost seven."

"I could've sworn I heard Abbie and Ryan talking," I tell her as I grab the lighter that I had left out last night and try to start the fire.

It takes me a few minutes, but the smaller brush finally catches the same moment we hear a low groan. I look at Alex and she looks back at me, both of us with wide eyes. We hear a shushing sound coming from Abbie's tent and look over just in time to see it shake just a bit. I look over at Alex. "Are they…"

"If they are, we're going back to our tent," Alex replies as she takes a step away from Abbie's tent. I smirk at her, purposely misinterpreting her meaning. "Oh you're dirty," She grumbles as she playfully smacks my shoulder. We hear a higher pitched moan and Alex immediately clamps a hand over her mouth to keep herself from laughing.

"Tent, now," I whisper as I grab onto Alex's wrist and pull her back to our tent. We both collapse on the mattress in a fit of laugher. Alex immediately buries her head on my chest as she covers her face, trying to mute her laughter.

"I didn't need to hear that!" She cries as she stays buried against me.

Nearly ten minutes later, we can hear their tent unzipping and both of their voices quietly whispering. "They're done, happy?" I whisper back to her. She lifts her head off of my chest a smirk on her lips. "What?" I ask hesitantly as she glances in their general direction before looking back at me.

"Oh…oh god…Liv!" She pretends to moan out, certainly loud enough for them to hear. She lets out a satisfied moan and I immediately clamp my hand over her mouth, stopping her from making any more sounds as I stare at her in shock with wide eyes.

"Alex!" I scold her as I glare at her. Before I can yell at her some more, I can feel her tongue press up against my palm, licking me before she bites my hand. "Oh, fuck, Alex!" I exclaim as I pull my hand away from her mouth.

"Oh god…almost there, Liv…harder!" She cries out, smirking at me as she presses her hand against my mouth so that I can't say anything. "Yes!" She exclaims as she lets out a satisfied moan, finally removing her hand from my mouth as she starts laughing. "Think they believed that?"

"The accuracy of your moans are a little alarming," I tell her as I look at her in surprise. "You kinda sounded like a very sexy porn star." Her moans are my new favorite sound…

"Ew! Stop watching porn," She scolds me as she rolls off of my chest and gets up. "Come on, before they _actually_ think we're having sex."

"What's so bad about that?" I tease her as I follow her out of the tent.

The moment we step out, I see Abbie who has a huge grin on her face. "Damn Benson! You're still a stud! Can Alex even walk straight?"

"Very funny," Alex replies as she walks perfectly over to Abbie. "Glad you fell for that though. A little pay back for…the noises coming from your tent earlier." Abbie immediately turns as red as a tomato and Ryan ducks his head as he scratches at his scruff.

"I was not a willing participant in that," I state as I glare at Alex.

Abbie raises her eyebrows at me. "Yeah right, Benson. I heard you moan out her name!"

"She bit me!" I counter, immediately regretting it as Abbie starts laughing her ass off at me.

"You always did like it rougher, huh Cabot?" Abbie teases.

"Can it, Carmichael, before I tell Ryan all about you," Alex states as she walks over to them, sitting down on her log by the fire. I follow her lead and sit down next to her as Ryan continues tending to the fire.

After breakfast, we pack up and get ready to hit the road. I steal a moment alone with Abbie to tell her that Ryan seems good for her. She blushes, admitting that she never thought she'd fall for a man in the end. It takes us nearly three hours since we run into traffic before we're back at Alex's apartment, unpacking everything.

"God, I can't wait to shower," Alex says as she sets down the last of our bags and pulls off her shirt, tossing it into her laundry basket. "I feel so grimy."

"You certainly don't look it," I comment before I can stop myself, my eyes running up and down her body.

She smirks at me as she undoes her jeans, sliding them down her long legs. "Well, I'd invite you to join me in the shower but I think that'd be moving a bit too quickly." My mouth grows dry at the thought of seeing her completely naked, water running down her pale skin, my tongue following the droplets lower and lower…

"If you say so," I reply, smiling back at her.

She laughs as she shakes her head before walking into the bathroom. "I expect to find you still here when I get out," She calls back before she shuts the bathroom door, not waiting for my response.

While I wait for her, I unpack our dirty clothes and toss them in her hamper before putting our clean clothes back away in her drawers. I can't help but smile as I open up her dresser drawers and realize that she has since given a dedicated side, about half a dozen of my shirts folded up nicely there. I sift through her drawers for a bit longer, pulling out a clean shirt, jeans, and undergarments.

A few minutes later, she opens up the door to her bathroom and walks out, a towel wrapped around her torso and her hair hanging around her shoulders. "Shower's all yours."

After we both shower and eat dinner, it's already dark and we both have work tomorrow. She yawns as she reclines back on her couch, stretching her arms in the air. "I think it's time for bed," She comments as she turns off the TV and looks over to me.

"Yeah, I better head home," I say as I stand up from the couch. She follows my lead and we both head over to her front door. "Thank you for inviting me to go camping with you this weekend," I tell her as I turn around so that I'm facing her.

She smiles as she takes a step closer to me, her hands wrapping around my neck. She kisses me softly for what feels like a split second before pulling away. "Thank you for coming with me." She doesn't stop smiling as she talks. "And thank you for…for convincing me that we should try this," She states as she kisses me once more on the lips.

"I'll see you tomorrow," I reply, still not moving my hands from her hips. She doesn't move either, her fingers now running along the back of my neck.

"Maybe…maybe you could spend the night?" She asks hopefully as she looks up at me. "I mean, it is pretty late and you already have clothes here. We both showered so we won't be competing for the hot water in the morning."

"And that way I can drop you off in the morning and take you home at night," I finish for her, reaching behind me to lock her front door. Her grin grows as I push her away from me slightly so that we can walk back to her bedroom.

Once we get there, she pauses, dropping my hand as she turns back to me. "No expectations?" She asks, hesitantly glancing back at her bed to show what she's really asking.

"Never," I answer as I cup her face and kiss her on the cheek. "Nothing has to change." She smiles in response before climbing in her bed and patting the spot next to her. I quickly change into a pair of sweats before I turn off the light and climb into bed next to her.

This time, instead of waiting until her sleeping body naturally reaches out for mine, she curls up next to me. She wraps an arm around my waist and tucks her head against my shoulder as she sighs softly. "I think I like this." I smile in response, my arms wrapping around her and pulling her closer just because I can now…


	23. Chapter 23

I'm grinning like an idiot, I know, but can you really blame me? I'm dating _Alexandra Cabot_. Hell, I thought it was hard to focus when we were just friends but it has only gotten worse, especially now since she texted me asking if I was free for lunch. Once she responds, telling me that she'll stop by the precinct in order to get me for lunch, I can't control my facial expressions.

"You only get that face when you think you just caught a rapist," Elliot says, causing me to drop down my phone as I look up at him. "Which case did you just crack wide open?" He's smiling back at me, hoping that maybe we will have a lesser load this week and we might even get a day off.

"Uh, no case. Sorry, my mind is just elsewhere," I tell him, hoping that he won't ask any more on the subject. Of course, he just can't let it be…

"Oh? Where is it at?" Before I can answer, his smile drops into a frown as a faint echoing of heels fills the room. Within seconds, the heels are louder and easily distinguishable as Alex's. It took me mere minutes to pin her walk specifically to her. The sound of her heels clicking against the hard floor just sounds so _damn_ sexy. She's paced when she walks, not rushed, and she walks with confidence. You can _hear_ the confidence in her walk.

"Good afternoon," She calls when she gets closer, walking right past Elliot's desk and straight for mine. She wastes no time in leaning up against my desk like always and of course, I can't stop my eyes from roaming over her thighs. She clears her throat drawing my eyes back up and merely smirks at me. "You ready to go?"

"Yes," I reply as I stand up, pushing my papers forward on my desk.

"I thought we were going to Cavertz's apartment for a search?" Elliot asks, causing me to pause.

"Yeah, we'll go after lunch."

"We said we'd go at noon," He counters, finally looking up from his desk and glaring at Alex who isn't facing him.

"The apartment will still be there at one, El. It's not like he's going to burn it down in the meantime," I reply, slightly irritated with him. I grab my jacket like always and dig through my drawer before withdrawing my wallet.

"Don't bother." I look up at her in confusion as I slip my wallet into my back pocket. "I'm buying today."

"I always pay," I counter. She always fights me over the bill but I usually win.

"Exactly, allow me to pay for once," She replies with a smile as she grabs onto my arm and starts leading me out.

"I see where your mind has been at," Elliot mumbles as we walk away. It takes all my strength not to turn around and slap him silly but that would require breaking physical contact with Alex—and that's definitely not worth it. "Don't do anything I wouldn't do, Liv."

Alex practically drags me out of the precinct to keep me from yelling at him in the middle of the squad room. Once we're past the precinct, I push her into an alleyway and quickly pin her up against a wall. One of my hands finds her hip while the other pulls her face close as I kiss her deeply. She's shocked at first, her body tense, but she immediately relaxes into my touch, moaning softly in response.

When I break the kiss, she's smiling as she pants softly. "What was that for?" She questions as she cups my face and swipes her thumb across my bottom lip, no doubt removing the lipstick that I had just smeared off of her lips.

"He said don't do anything he wouldn't do." I grin sheepishly as I do the same to her, straightening up her smeared lipstick.

"And he wouldn't kiss a woman?"

"He wouldn't kiss you," I tease, earning a swat from Alex as she pushes me back to the street. "You really shouldn't wear lipstick anymore." She looks at me in confusion as we continue walking down the street. "I'm just going to mess it up every chance I get."

She grins as she rolls her eyes at me. "Someone needs to learn self-restraint," She quips as she pulls me past our normal restaurant.

"Or maybe you could stop looking so damn sexy all the time so I won't feel the need to kiss you."

"I'll come to work in my pajamas then," She teases as we arrive at an unfamiliar restaurant. We're immediately led over to a small table against the window.

"Oh dear god no," I immediately reply, shaking my head. "I'd never be able to focus."

She looks at me in confusion. "Really? _That_ does it for you?"

"If by that you mean your skimpy silk camisole that does nothing to hide the fact that you're cold and those incredibly short shorts, yes."

She smirks as she picks up two menus and hands one to me. "I'm never cold."

"Wha—" I shut up immediately, my cheeks turning bright red as I think of the only other reason why Alex's—assets—would be showing through her top. Damn her.

"Pick up your jaw detective," She comments as menus are placed in front of us before the waitress leaves. "Surely you didn't think I was _always_ cold especially with your body underneath mine."

"You were sleeping so I figured—" I pause, my jaw dropping once more. "You were awake? You knew that you were cuddling up against me?"

She grins, shrugging. "I would go to sleep nowhere near you and wake up every time practically on top of you. I think I'd notice at least once." She pauses as she ducks her head in embarrassment.

"What?"

"I usually would, uh, wake up from a particularly…interesting dream…" She pauses for a moment as she tries to gauge my response but I simply look at her in confusion. "You know, _those_ dreams that would explain why I was…every morning."

The words replay in my head as I finally string all my thoughts together. "You were having sex dreams?!" I exclaim, clearly a little too loudly in the fancier restaurant because I can hear someone gasping behind me.

"Liv!" Alex cries out as she ducks her head in embarrassment. I can hear her muted laughter as she shakes her head. "Everyone is staring," She groans as she peeks up before standing up and grabbing my hand. "We're leaving."

I apologize the moment we hit the street but she ignores me, instead dragging me toward the DA's office. "Alex, I really didn't mean to. We can just go to another restaurant," I try to reason as we arrive at the DA's office but she doesn't say anything. "Alex, I know you're hungry," I argue as we finally arrive at her office.

She pulls me in without hesitation before shutting the door. Suddenly I find myself pinned against it, my hands spread out against the door as I try to keep myself from falling, eyes wide, with her lips against mine. I try to say her name but she doesn't move her mouth away from mine, making her name come out as nothing more than a groan.

One of her hands is against my neck, the other gripping onto my hip as it finds its way up under my shirt. I groan, finally melting into the kiss as I feel her hand arrive at the top of my stomach before she slowly rakes her nails down my abdomen. I flex involuntarily in response and she flattens her palm, pushing up against me.

After what seems like minutes of nothing more than soft groans coming from me, she pulls away, her cheeks flushed as she breathes in deeply. I smirk as I admire her, one of her arms now resting against the door, her body pressed fully against mine and her head tipped down.

"So I embarrass you in front of a bunch of strangers at a restaurant and then you drag me to your office to make out with me…" She looks up at me, a sheepish grin on her face. "Is it just me or does something seem backwards about that?" She doesn't say anything, instead grinning as she shakes her head, still trying to catch her breath.

"Oh my god…Did that turn you on? A room full of strangers knowing that you had sex dreams about me?" She blushes in response. "Alexandra Cabot! And now making out in the office? It looks like someone is quite the exhibitionist…Is that what turns you on?"

"Oh shut up," She teases as she grabs onto the collar of my shirt and kisses me once more. "Besides, I don't see you complaining."

"No complaints from me," I mumble against her lips as she pulls me away from the door, both of us side stepping until the blinds of the window brush against my fingers. She tries to pull me to the couch but I resist just long enough for my frantic hand to locate the handle to close the blinds.

Within seconds, the room is darker and Alex wastes no time in pushing me onto the couch until I'm on my back looking up at her with wide eyes. She straddles me easily, lowering herself down as we kiss again, her hands tangling into my hair as she pulls me closer.

My hands gravitate toward her thighs, slipping under her skirt and pushing it higher around her waist until I'm almost at her hips. She moans wantonly against my lips as my hands slide to the tops of her thighs and my thumbs reach out, tracing the apex of her legs.

My fingertips touch nothing but skin and curiosity gets the best of me. I push my hands further back until they are are cupping bare flesh, a very thin strip of fabric touching my hand all the way at the top. I groan in response, just imagining Alex's rear in a thong as I palm her round globes, pulling her hips lower onto me.

My leg acts on its own volition and pushes up, giving her a place to find purchase as I force her hips down. She gasps against my mouth, finally breaking our make out session as my thigh comes into contact with her lace covered center. I can physically feel the heat radiating onto my leg, through her underwear and my slacks, and its disorientating.

I guide her hips, back and forth, giving her the friction that she's desperate for. In a matter of seconds, she's moaning, her head firmly wedged between the couch and my head. Her hips need little guidance from my hands as she grinds down shamelessly on me to the point where I swear I can feel her arousal on my pants.

Since she no longer needs my guidance, my hands abandon her hips, instead sliding up and around until I reach her blouse. I start unbuttoning it from the bottom, exposing her abdomen, until my hands can slip under her shirt without resistance. I cup her thin sides, her ribcage expanding as she breathes heavily into her couch, before sliding up and wrapping my hands around her silk covered breasts.

I palm them, her nipples hardening underneath her bra to the point where I can feel them prodding my palms. "I'm so turned on," She whispers into my ear as she gasps in response to my pleasant torture.

"I can take care of that for you," I respond as I trail one hand down her abdomen suggestively.

"No." Her words cause me to stop palming her breast and my other hand freezes against her abdomen but her hips are still moving against my thigh. "Not like this. Not on my couch." She groans out in frustration as she finally manages to stop her hips. She huffs out disapprovingly as she drops her body completely on top of mine, letting out a loud, frustrated groan against the couch.

After a few minutes of silence, she mumbles, "I hate you."

I smirk as my hands run up her back before straightening out her bunched up blouse. "No you don't," I tease as I run my hands up to her neck, my fingers brushing up against tangled blonde locks.

"Yes I do," She argues back as she slowly pushes herself off of me, sighing dramatically.

"You're so cute when you're pretending to be upset," I tell her as I push back her messy hair. I run my fingers through it, making it a bit neater before pushing it behind her ear. "Besides, you're the one who told me to stop."

She frowns as she looks down at me. "Did you really want our first time to be on my office couch where we both would have to be insanely quiet so that nobody barges in on us?"

"I don't know, you're the exhibitionist," I tease, earning a playful slap against my shoulder.

"Ass," She grumbles as she pushes off of me a bit more.

"Speaking of which, you have a fantastic one," I say as my hands find her rear once more, cupping them as I enjoy the feeling.

"Well maybe you can admire it more later tonight," She says as she grabs onto my wrist, pulling my hands away from her body. I frown as she climbs off of me and immediately pulls her skirt back down until it's at the appropriate length. "As for now, you're going to order us some take out and have it delivered to my office while I…" She looks at her legs as she squirms, obviously uncomfortable. "While I go take care of this."

"Alex!" I admonish as she pushes her skirt back up just enough to push both of her hands under it. "In here?"

"What?" She turns around to look at me. "Oh, no!" She pulls down her thong before stepping out of it. "I'm just getting out of this because you made me rather…uncomfortable down there." One of my cocky grins takes over my face and she glares at me as she walks over to her desk and opens up a drawer. "It's a good thing I always keep a change of clothes," She says as she holds up something small and black before heading to the door. "I feel like Italian. Get my usual." She leaves the room, shutting the door once more behind her so that I can straighten myself up as well.

After a few beats, I begrudgingly get off of her couch and straighten up my own clothes before calling into her favorite Italian place not far from here. Once I place our orders, I sit back down on her couch and wait for her. I glance at my watch, surprise that she's not back yet.

A few more minutes later, she walks back into her office looking much more relaxed. "You look…" I stop as her cheeks start turning red and she clears her throat, turning away from me. My eyes widen as I clasp a hand over my mouth to keep from laughing. "You didn't!"

She spins around to look at me in surprise. "I didn't do anything!" She says, her voice cracking slightly as she speaks in a higher pitch.

"You smell like sex! Oh my god, you got yourself off in the bathroom." Images of her bracing herself up against a bathroom stall as she pushes her fingers in and out of herself flood my mind, almost to the point where I'm going to need to follow her lead.

"Shut up," She hisses at me as she glances back to her partially open door. She gives up and closes it before sitting down next to me on the couch and the once faint scent of sex is even stronger with her next to me. I find my head spinning as I inhale, my heart beating faster. Flashes of her hand between her legs… Face contorting with pleasure… Soft moans falling from her lips… Her body freezing up as she comes… God I wanted to be the one to take her there in the bathroom stall.

"It's nothing to be embarrassed about," I tell her as I nudge her shoulder. Instead of looking relieved, she glares at me.

"Yes it is. I swear I'm not normally this turned on. I've never done that before but god it was to the point where I couldn't stand it." Her words came out rushed before she groans and covers her face with her hands.

"It's kind of hot." She peeks up behind her hands to look at me. "Knowing that I was the one who did that to you…Sure I wasn't the one who got you off but I was the one who got you up to that point."

"How are you so calm?"

"Oh don't get me wrong," I say as I chuckle. "I'm probably going to use the restroom the moment I leave but I can handle myself until then."

A knock on the door causes us to both look up. "That was fast," She comments as she gets up and walks toward her wallet.

"That's because you took forever in the bathroom," I quip as I pull money out of my pocket before opening up the door. "Keep the change, thank you." The guy grins as he takes the money.

"Enjoy!" He calls out before leaving.

"Are you ever going to let me pay?" Alex questions as she walks over to the couch and sits down next to me.

"Maybe next time." She playfully pushes me because she knows I won't before I pull out each of our meals.

We catch each other up on a few cases as we eat before I reach over and fork a piece of Alex's shrimp. "Hey! Get your own," She chastises as she glares at me.

"I did get my own." I grin as I pop the shrimp into my mouth. She rolls her eyes as she sticks her fork into a piece of my sausage and twirls it around some pasta before pulling away.

"Now look who's stealing food."

"Only because you got something different than me," She responds after she finishes chewing. "Their red sauce is surprisingly good. I'm not usually a fan of it."

"Have you ever tried pink sauce?" I question as I take another bite of my food.

"What's that?" I look at her in surprise. "What?"

"You know, where you combine white and red sauce. It's really good because it's tomato-y but also creamy. You should try it some time."

She glances down at my plate of pasta with red sauce before hers with white. "Why wait?" She questions before leaning closer to me and wrapping an arm around my neck. She pulls me close, her mouth immediately conquering mine as she pushes her tongue into my mouth. I moan in response, both of us disregarding our food.

When she finally pulls away, she licks her lips and pretends to think for a second. "Not half bad."

"It'd probably be better on pasta," I mutter as I lean back against the couch and will my heart to stop beating so fast.

"I don't know, that tasted pretty good." She winks at me before swirling some more of her pasta and taking a bite. She's going to be the death of me.


	24. Chapter 24

I'm rushing around my apartment, frantically trying to make everything perfect before Alex arrives. Dinner is already in the table with candles that I didn't even know I owned. There is a single rose sitting on the table for her and her favorite—and rather expensive—bottle of wine but she's worth every penny.

A faint knock on the door pulls me from my thoughts and I take a deep breath before grabbing onto the rose and walking over to the door. When I open it up, I suddenly forget all the charming things that I had planned to say earlier. Instead, I extend out the rose for her and she smiles as she reaches out for it.

"It has thorns," I blurt out, blushing once the words come tumbling out of my mouth. She smiles as she carefully takes it where there are no thorns.

"Thank you," She replies, not at all affected by my awkward outburst. Instead, she takes a step into my apartment and kisses me on the cheek before shutting the door. "It smells amazing in here."

"I made clam chowder… I know it's not exactly the most romantic food but it has bacon and shrimp—"

"It sounds amazing," She cuts me off, smiling as I lead her into the kitchen. I have no clue why I'm so flustered and tripping over my words. It's not like I've never had dinner with Alex before but this time it feels different. There's the expectation of sex lingering above my head and I wanted everything to be perfect for her. I want to show her that I could be everything she wants in a partner. I want to give her the world…

I walk over to the small circular table that I had borrowed from my neighbor—now covered in a red table cloth and my most expensive dining plates—and pull out the chair for her. "Thank you." She sits down and smiles as she looks at the table setting. "I didn't know you owned candles, Liv," She teases, lightening the mood.

"Neither did I," I quip as I quickly ladle up the soup and set a bowl on top of both of our plates. I grab onto the fresh sourdough bread that I had just cut up and bring that over as well. "Wine?"

"Please." I uncork it and pour half a glass worth in both of our wine glasses before setting it to the side. "This looks amazing, thank you for cooking."

"Of course," I reply as I finally take a moment to look up at her. She looks different than she did at work today—her makeup looks fresh and more romantic than work appropriate. It's obvious that she had showered when she got home because I can smell the faint scent of her shampoo. And finally—after far too long—I look down to see the deep slit of her dress, revealing a small freckle between her breasts. "You look gorgeous Alex, absolutely stunning…"

She smiles back at me, a faint blush covering her cheeks as she picks up her soup spoon. "Don't you know, flattery will get you everywhere?"

I reach across the table without hesitation, resting my hand on top of her unoccupied one. "I mean it, Alex. You're—god I can't even think of the right words to describe how beautiful you look right now. Call me speechless."

She purses her lips before smiling once more. "Thank you." It's obvious that she's not used to receiving sincere compliments and I feel sad for her. Had all of her previous lovers not told her how beautiful she was? Or did they just say it in an attempt to get her in their bed? I wish she knew that I meant every word.

Even chatter fills the meal, both of us content to sticking to smaller talk as we eat. Once we're done, I collect our plates and set them in the sink for late, denying her the opportunity to assist me despite her insistence. "Thank you for a wonderful dinner, it was absolutely delicious."

"You're more than welcome," I tell her as I grab onto her wrist. "Come on." I gently guide her out of the kitchen and into my living room before turning around. The moment I do, I see her with her lip drawn between her teeth, a hesitant look on her face, before she releases her hold on her lip. She closes the distance between us and wraps her arms around my neck, pulling me close as she presses our lips together.

I melt into the kiss, my entire body relaxing as my sweaty palms rest on her hips. She takes a couple more steps, leading me toward my bedroom. It isn't until she reaches around her back to unzip her dress that I realize she doesn't seem as happy as she was this afternoon in her office; her actions almost seem robotic.

I turn my head away from her lips as my hand stops hers from pulling down her dress. She looks at me in confusion as her eyebrows furrow. "Isn't this what you want?"

I hold back my surprise at her words—what _I_ want. Doesn't she know that I only want to make her happy? I find my thoughts returning to her former lovers. Did she honestly think she owed me sex for cooking her dinner? Did all her prior lovers convince her that she had to repay them? I bite my lip as I shake my head.

"I—I thought we could dance," I tell her as I gesture to my living room, the initial location that I was trying to guide her to.

It's only then that she looks at my living room where my couch and coffee table are both pushed up against the wall. She gasps softly as she looks up at my walls where I had strung up my white Christmas lights to provide some ambiance since my normal lights were off. Three awkwardly placed candles are lit up, providing a bit more romance.

Her silence catches me off guard and I begin to wonder if the rose petals around the room were a bit much; they were going to be annoying to clean up but since our conversation while camping, I had deemed roses to be _our_ flowers. She just didn't know it yet.

"Oh Liv," She finally whispers as she brings a hand up to cover her mouth. I look at her in alarm when I see her eyes glistening ever so slightly behind her glasses.

"I'm sorry, is this too much?" I find the words slipping out of my mouth, ready to turn on the lights and unplug the Christmas lights.

"No," She whispers softly as she shakes her head, finally dropping her hand. "This is absolutely perfect, Liv. You did this all for me?"

"Of course," I admit honestly as I walk over to my music console and press play. Soft music fills the room as I walk back over to her with an extended arm. "Now, may I have this dance?"

She takes my hand and I pull her close. She wraps her arms around my neck and I wrap my arms around her waist, pulling her gently against my body. "You never have to ask," She whispers in my ear as she settles her chin on my shoulder.

We continue dancing for an hour, Alex discarding her heels within minutes so that we can both be more comfortable. I hold her close and she keeps her head resting against my shoulder even after the music stops playing.

Finally, reluctantly, she picks her head up and pulls away from me as she gazes at me with a lovesick grin; I have a feeling my expression matches hers. She reaches up both of her hands, cupping my face as she kisses me—deeply, passionately—more invested in it than she was earlier.

My hands migrate from her hips up to her lower back, running up her spine. A single hand runs up to her neck and cups her head while the other rests on her lower back. When my lungs scream for oxygen, I twist both of our bodies, dipping her down, causing our lips to break.

She gasps in surprise as she looks up at me with wide eyes. I grin as I hold her in place, finally realizing that one of her legs is wrapped around my calf in an attempt to keep herself from falling—doesn't she know I'd never let her go, ever?

"The night isn't over yet," I tell her as I pull her back up onto her feet. "I believe it's time for dessert."

"Is that what the kids are calling it these days?" She teases as she kisses me once more on the lips before grabbing onto my wrist.

I blush at her misinterpretation. "Oh, I meant actual dessert," I try to explain as I point to the kitchen. She looks at me in disbelief. "Come on, I promise you'll love it."

"I don't think anything could possibly make this night any better," She admits as we walk into the kitchen.

"Oh I think you'll disagree in about ten seconds," I tell her as I open up my freezer and pull out a container of Ben and Jerry's.

Her smile widens as she looks at the label and I knew quizzing her one of the first times we went out paid off. "That's my favorite one."

I nod as I grab two spoons and hold them up. "I figured between the both of us, we could easily annihilate this."

She laughs as she shakes her head. "We're not going to be able to move by the time we're done."

"Which is why I thought that maybe we could—only if you want, I mean—we could eat this in the comfort of my bed?"

"Lead the way, Detective." I sigh in relief before leading her to my bedroom and I begin to wonder if maybe I should've thrown some rose petals in there and put up a few candles. I changed the bedsheets and cleaned but I didn't want to go overboard.

Suddenly I felt the need to justify myself. "I didn't want to overdo it, you know, with the roses and candles. I didn't want you to think it was tacky and I didn't want you to think that I had expectat—"

"Tonight has been nothing short of perfect," She cuts me off as she walks over to my bed, pausing at the foot as her eyebrows furrow in confusion.

"Is something wrong? We don't have to eat in here if you don't want. We can just go back into the kitchen."

"You bought another pillow," She says softly and I look over to the newest addition to my bed.

"Well, yeah, I figured I should get another one for you since you spend the night so often. As much as I love sharing a pillow with you, I know your neck often hurts in the morning because my pillow is flatter than how you like it. I hope you don't mind, I looked at the tag on your pillows and bought the same one so that you'd feel just as comfortable here as you do at home." She's silent as she walks over to the pillow and brushes her hand against it. "I'm sorry, was that too far?"

"No," She whispers softly as she turns back to me with a smile. "I—this is so incredibly thoughtful, Liv." She purses her lips as she walks back over to me and throws her arms around my waist, pulling me into a hug. "You're so thoughtful and considerate and god Liv, when did you have time to do all of this? You didn't need to, we're already dating."

"Just because we're already dating doesn't mean I don't have to woo you," I tell her as I pull back, kissing her briefly on the cheek. "I wanted to do all of this for you. You're worth it."

She shakes her head as she covers mouth. "You bought me a pillow," She murmurs against her hand before dropping it. "I don't know how to repay you for all of this."

"You don't owe me anything, Alex. Just seeing you smile is enough for me."

"You're amazing, you know that?"

I grin as I kiss her chastely on the lips. "Now, I do believe I promised you ice cream." She grins as she walks over to the bed—to her side—and crawls on it. I sit down next to her and hand over a spoon before pulling off the lid.

True to our word, we finish the entire pint, both of us groaning as we recline on the bed. "I can't believe you convinced me to finish it off," She groans as she swings an arm over her stomach as if to show she was stuffed.

"You were slacking, Cabot," I tease as I place the empty container on my bedside table before rolling onto my side so that I'm facing her. She grins at me as she rolls over, facing me as well. Her pupils flash between my eyes and lips as she smiles. I take the hint, leaning forward and kissing her softly.

She wastes no time in deepening the kiss, pulling me closer to her as she rolls onto her back. I position myself on top of her as we make out until we both need air. She sighs deeply as she tilts her head to the side. "I don't feel very sexy stuffed full of soup, bread, and ice cream," She says jokingly but I can sense a bit of truth in her voice.

"Well," I say as I lean forward, kissing her once on the lips. "I just so happen to think…" I kiss her cheek. "That you look _very_ …" I kiss her other cheek. "Sexy…" I return my lips to hers and kiss her deeply, pouring every ounce of passion into it in an attempt to show her how attracted I am to her.

She hums softly in response as she tangles her hands into my hair. "Are you talking to yourself, Detective?" She teases before reconnecting our lips.

I chuckle against her before sliding my lips down her cheek. She instinctively tips her head to the side, exposing her neck to me. I kiss down it and her body arches up, her head digging deeper into her pillow as I kiss and lick my way down her neck. She moans softly as I latch onto her neck, sucking in a similar place where she marked me a week prior.

Her hips push up against me, her back arching even more as her fingernails gently scrape my scalp, pulling me closer. "God, Liv," She gasps as one of her legs runs up my calf before sliding up further, wrapping around my thighs. I push my hips down, pinning hers against the mattress and she takes the opportunity to wrap her other leg around me, locking her ankles.

I continue kissing around her neck before sliding down lower, brushing my lips against her prominent collarbone. I take a moment to nip at the bone and her hips jerk against mine, a ragged moan falling from her lips as her hands slide down to my neck.

My lips trail further down her chest and I'm thankful that she decided to wear a low cut dress as I kiss the soft skin between her breasts. "Oh…" She gasps as I pull the side of her dress out of the way, exposing her bra-less chest.

A single hand returns to my hair, guiding me closer to a rosy nipple. I swallow roughly, my mouth suddenly watering, as I lean down and kiss the side of her breast delicately. "Please…" I close my eyes for a split second, relishing in the sound of Alex begging _me_. Alexandra Cabot begging, pleading, pulling _me_ closer. The feeling is overwhelming, absolutely indescribable, but I don't let the power trip go to my head.

I let my tongue trail up the swell of her breast, stopping just short of her nipple. Her hips move underneath mine, her chest rising in an attempt to get me to touch her again. Slowly, carefully, I brush the tip of her pebbled nipple with my tongue before pulling away. She cries out, surprising me as her nails drag down my neck before gripping onto my shoulder.

"Absolutely beautiful," I whisper before descending my lips to her breast, placing the softest kiss against her straining nipple. She pushes against my neck and I open up my mouth, allowing her nipple to slip into my mouth. She pushes more firmly and I wrap my lips around her, taking in more of her breast as I apply suction.

She gasps, her breath hitching as her hips push up against me. I settle my abdomen against the apex of her legs, pushing down firmly as I loosen my hold on her breast so that I can zone in on her nipple. My hand instinctively slips under the cup of her dress and finds her other breast, greedily wrapping around it and palming the flesh before my index finger and thumb squeeze her nipple.

She cries out once more, her voice sounding strangled as her hips start pushing against my abdomen, desperately searching for some purchase. I flex my abdomen for her, pushing her further into the bed as I scrape my teeth against her nipple and roll the other one between my fingers.

I can feel the edges of her dress pushing up higher and higher as the seconds tick by until they slide over her hips. The feeling of her hips pushing up against me, her heat transferring through her underwear, her nipples hardening under my ministrations—it's all astonishing. Her scent is intoxicating especially mixed with the faint scent of sex and sweat.

I lash my tongue against her straining nipple as I hum, transferring my vibrations through her body. Her hips are pushing up against me erratically now and I'm just about to migrate my hand down between our bodies when she suddenly freezes. Her body arches up, stopping midair as every single muscle seems to tense.

When I lift up my head, I see her eyes pinched shut, head tossed back into the pillow, and blonde hair splayed out everywhere. It's obvious that she's not breathing as what I can only assume to be an orgasm washes over her, causing her body to shake before she falls back down against my mattress, all her muscles finally relaxing.

I kiss her neck softly and I finally hear her exhale deeply. "Hey," I whisper as I finally make my way back up to her face. I kiss her forehead softly, enjoying the light sheen of sweat across her brow.

"Hi," She whispers back as she finally opens up her eyes and smiles at me. She runs a hand over my chest tenderly. "I—I can't say I've ever had that happen before."

"You've never just from…" She shakes her head, a faint blush covering her cheeks but that may be in response to other things. "Way to stroke my ego," I tell her as I nudge her head to the side and kiss her cheek gently.

"Your ego deserves to be stroked after that," She murmurs as she sighs softy, her hand running through my hair and down my back. She finally straightens up and her hands find their way to my slacks, quickly unbuttoning them.

I help her out, thinking that they're uncomfortable against her bare skin, and push them down my legs before kicking them to the side. I roll off of her and sigh as I start unbuttoning my nice blouse—which is now wrinkled beyond belief but I couldn't care less.

Alex surprises me, swinging a leg over my waist before settling on top of me. She takes over the unbuttoning and pops them all out before pulling it to the side and placing her hands against my abdomen. "Let me go brush my teeth real quick and then we can go to bed," I assure her, assuming that's what she wants.

She frowns as I try to get up off of the bed. "But I need to take care of you," She says as she looks at me in confusion.

I pause as I bite my lip. She allows me to lean up, her waist still sitting on my lap. I reach up, running a single hand across her temple and through her hair. "You don't _need_ to do anything for me, Alex," I tell her. "You're exhausted."

"Yes, I'm tired but you made me dinner and we danced and it was so romantic and you…It's only fair," She tries to argue, a little unsure as to why I'm resistant.

"You don't owe me anything, sweetie." I sigh as I cup her cheek, wondering who messed her up to the point where she felt the need to provide sex as a way of thanking someone. "I did all this for you because I _wanted_ to. I _wanted_ to make you dinner. I _wanted_ to dance with you. I _wanted_ to pleasure you. But I don't want you to feel like you have to return the favor just because I did that for you."

She looks away from me, averting her eyes almost in embarrassment. "Alex, I did all this because I truly care about you and seeing you smile made it all worth it. Now, I would really love to cuddle up with you tonight and wake up with you here in the morning so we can have breakfast together but if you don't want to, that's okay. You can leave while I'm brushing my teeth."

She doesn't say anything as she climbs off of my lap and sits down on the bed, allowing me to get up. Once I do, I lean down once more and kiss her temple before slipping into the bathroom. I refuse to look back into my bedroom as I brush my teeth, allowing her the escape that she might want.

My heart drops when I hear her shuffling around in the bedroom before it's quiet.

And then a few seconds later, my heart soars when I see her reflection in the mirror behind me. She smiles back at me as she reaches around me and grabs onto her tooth brush. I step out of her way and allow her to put toothpaste on it. It's only then that I notice she traded her dress for a pair of sweatpants and one of my NYPD shirts.

When we're done brushing our teeth, we both return to the bedroom and she slips into her side of the bed without saying a word. I can't help but grin as I turn off the light and slip in next to her. "I thought we were going to cuddle?" She questions in the darkness.

I feel the bed shift slightly as she rolls onto her side. I take the hint and move behind her, cuddling her from behind. One of my arms slips under her pillow while the other wraps around her waist, pulling her close. Her arm rests on top of mine and her fingers slip between mine, squeezing my hand for a second before relaxing.

"Thank you so much for everything tonight, Liv. This was honestly the best date I've ever been on."

I lay there on my side, smiling like an idiot in the darkness before I manage to regain some composure. I lean forward, pressing a gentle kiss against the soft curve of her neck. "Thank _you_ for trusting me."

We stay like that, curled up in each other's arms even after we both drift off, dreams of a beautiful blonde smiling wide with shining blue eyes filling my mind. It was only then—when I was on the brink of consciousness and unconsciousness—that I thought that I might possibly be _in_ love with her.


	25. Chapter 25

When we wake up the following morning, we're a tangled mess of arms and legs. Except things are slightly different, this time with her on her back and my head resting on her chest rather low with my hand across her abdomen and under her shirt. I grin as I inhale her intoxicating scent and I can't resist spreading my hand out across her bare skin.

She's so soft, so warm, and so _mine_. I can't deny that the thought of her being mine gives me a head trip every time. Sure I don't own her, nor would I ever want to, but knowing that she only shares her bed with me makes my heart beat just a little bit faster every time. Hell, anything she did seemed to make my heart flutter faster even if it was something as simple as her sharing breakfast with me.

My stomach growls, reminding me why I woke up in the first place but I'm resistant to the idea of moving because it means abandoning Alex. I run my fingers up and down her stomach, smiling as she moans softy and her body seems to arch up into my touch.

Feeling her subconsciously try to move closer to me brings a smile to my face. I slip my hand further up her shirt, pushing it up as I go until it's resting below her breasts. I slide my way down on the bed until my mouth is hovering over her abdomen and I lower my lips, placing a soft kiss just above her navel. I glance up as I kiss her again, her body still unmoving.

Another kiss higher up, this time between her ribcage, causes her waist to shift to the side as one of her hands clenches ever so slightly. Her movements egg me on and I kiss a little higher up, right beneath her shirt as I run my hands down her sides. This time she moans in response, quiet enough to prove that she's still asleep. I glance up to her as I continue my motions, pressing another kiss even higher up, her shirt moving between her breasts.

Finally, she gasps as her eyes shoot open, zoning in on me after few seconds. "Liv," She husks, her voice thick with sleep. I wonder if I just woke her from a pleasant dream, a pleasant dream that _I_ was causing. She seems disoriented but I can't blame her. I pulled her abruptly from a peaceful—or maybe erotic—sleep.

"Morning," I mumble against her skin, my lips still sliding down until I'm at her navel again. I kiss her around there a few times, just until she falls back against her pillow, resigning to my welcomed torture. "Were you dreaming about me?" I question as I kiss below her navel. My hands push down the bedsheets which were previously wrapped around her waist. Her sweatpants are already riding low on her hips, a look that absolutely drives me crazy with desire, so I hook my thumbs into them, dragging them down her sides oh so slowly.

I pause, taking a moment to continue my pleasant torture, and kiss her right above her underwear line. She moans softly in response, her hips arching up ever so slightly as I reach for her underwear, just pulling the tip of it down.

I can already smell her arousal and I can't help but groan in response; she's intoxicating. I place another kiss on the newly exposed skin, far softer than anything I've felt before, as I glance up at her. Right as I'm about to pull her underwear lower, enough to expose herself to me, her stomach growls, causing her to shoot upright in my bed, cheeks flushed bright red.

"Ohmygosh," She rushes out as her blush slips down her neck and beneath her shirt. I can't help but laugh as I'm reminded of my own hunger, my stomach growling as well, albeit not as loud as hers. "I can't believe I just—" She groans in embarrassment as she pulls down her shirt and reaches for her sweatpants.

I stop her, pulling up her sweatpants myself as I offer her up a smile. "It's okay, I was doing the same this morning. Maybe we should eat breakfast before…returning to any activities."

"I don't understand how we're still hungry after all that ice cream last night," She admits as she stretches out, causing her shirt to rise up on her stomach. Despite just staring at her stomach for the last five minutes, my eyes are still drawn to the taut skin and thin sheets of muscle beneath it.

"Probably because it's almost ten," I tell her as I point to the clock. Her eyes widen in surprise as she confirms the time. "Come on, I'll make us some protein so we can get out energy back."

"You exhausted me last night," She teases as she slips off of my bed, stretching once more before walking toward the bedroom door. "I can't imagine how much we'll need to sleep when we _actually_ …" She lets her words trail off and I blush at her dirty comment.

"For days, probably," I mutter as I get out of bed as well and head toward the kitchen.

I can hear her soft steps behind me before arms wrap around my waist right as I arrive in front of my refrigerator. Her hands slip around my waist, her fingers weaving together as she pushes her front flush against my back.

She sits her chin on my shoulder and places a soft kiss on my neck followed by an open mouth kiss. "At this rate, you'll find out very soon," She whispers against my skin before pressing another kiss right below my ear. I shudder in response to her words, my body already humming at the thought of fully divesting her of her clothes.

"You feel rather tense," She teases, knowing full well that she's the cause of my now rigid body. "Should I give you a massage, hm?" She questions as her arms release my waist and instead migrate up to my arms, squeezing my biceps a few times before reaching my shoulders.

"No! No, massages from you, especially if you still massage like you did last time." She releases her hold on me, allowing me to turn around and see a confused look on her face. "Oh don't play naïve. You know full well what you did to me when you gave me that massage forever ago."

"I'm afraid I have no clue what you're talking about," She responds in the most innocent tone she could muster, batting her eyelashes as if to prove her point. "Why don't you inform me of what exactly I did to the great Detective Benson?"

I glare at her, hoping she'll break the act but she doesn't. "The way you convinced me to lie down on your bed," I tell her as I place my hands on her hips and turn her around until she's pressed up against my kitchen counter.

"I believe you're the one who didn't want a massage on my couch."

I ignore her and instead slip my hands down to her thighs, grabbing onto her rear and hoisting her onto the counter. She cries out in response, surprised from my act as her hands fly back against the countertop in an attempt to stable herself. "The way you climbed on top of my body," I continue as I run my hands over the tops of her thighs before swiftly pulling them apart, causing her to gasp.

I smile because I know I have her right where I want her as I step between her legs and she instinctively wraps them around my waist. "And then you touched me so teasingly." I run my hands from her clothed shoulders all the way down to her chest, barely skimming over her breasts to prove my point.

She moans softly in response, her head tipping back before she pushes her lower half closer to mine, seeking out more contact. "Then you even had the nerve to slip your hands under my shirt," I tell her as I do the same, both hands wandering under her t-shirt to brush up against bare flesh.

This time she whimpers, low and needy, and I bite back the urge to take her right there and then on my kitchen counter. Instead, I run my hands over her exposed body, high enough to tease her hardening nipples.

I lean in closer to her, finally giving her the contact she wants as I press a promising kiss against her jawline. "And then…" I slide my lips up her jaw and press a kiss below her ear. "Then, you pulled away completely, leaving me high and dry." The moment the words fall from my lips, I pull away from her, my hands prying her legs off from my body.

She immediately straightens up, the shocked look on her face doing nothing to mask her aroused state. Her pupils are dilated, almost completely consuming her gorgeous blue eyes, and her skin is flushed from me kissing her. Even her nipples are straining against her shirt making her state of arousal even more obvious.

She lets out a huff of disapproval as she slides off of my counter, barely managing to stay upright on weak legs. "Maybe next time I'll give Abbie a massage," She replies, keeping her face completely straight.

I raise an eyebrow, challenging her but she merely turns away from me, clearly not amused by my teasing. I take her momentary weakness to my advantage and close the distance between us, wrapping my arms around her waist. I pull her close to me before I lean back, requiring her to trust in me so that she won't fall.

She sighs softly in response as she leans completely back against me and tips her head against my shoulder before turning it to my neck. "Your _very_ skilled hands aren't allowed to go anywhere near Abbie—or any other woman for that matter."

"Oh?" She questions in a teasing tone. "We've barely been dating for a week. I didn't realize we were exclusive otherwise I wouldn't have slept with—"

"What?" I snap, a little more harshly than I mean to as I straighten up.

"I'm kidding!" She turns in my arms and smiles at me. "I'm just kidding Liv. You've been the only person to share my bed for months now."

I smile in response as I use two fingers to tip her chin up to me and kiss her soundly on the lips. "Good."

She pulls away smiling before a flash of concern crosses her face. "Are we…I mean I know it's only been a week and we're both adults so I'd understand if you did but…" I kiss her again, cutting off her rambling even though I find it endearing. "Are we exclusive?"

I look at her in surprise, definitely not expecting that question. I couldn't fathom wanting someone else while I was with her. No one could match up to her wit, strength, beauty, and everything else she embodies. "I'd like to think so," I reply honestly as I try to gauge her response. "You're the only person who I share my bed with as well and I'd like to keep it that way."

"Good," She says as she grins kissing me once more. "But you know, if you wanted to…I mean I don't want to but I know I work a lot and sometimes I can be a real bitch so if you wanted to see other women, you could. I wouldn't blame you."

Again, I find my mind wandering back to her previous lovers. Had one of them cheated on her before? Convinced her that it was her fault for that? I can't say I have ever had someone that I was dating tell me that they'd 'understand' if I wanted to seek other lovers. I frown in response to her words before shaking my head. "Absolutely not, Alex. I'm a one woman, woman," I assure her as I finally let go of her. "You're more than enough for me."

She grins once more before wandering over to my refrigerator and pulling out some eggs for breakfast. I smile as I watch her go about cracking the eggs into a bowl. "I'm pretty sure I'll have my hands full trying to convince you of your worth," I whisper, far too quietly for her to hear.

I take another second to watch her working flawlessly around my kitchen before I join in to help her make breakfast.


	26. Chapter 26

Right now.

Right now in this exact moment of time is how I love her.

Her hair is wet and clinging to her red cheeks, her smile wide as she speed walks toward my apartment. She flashes me back a smile, one of those innocent ones that somehow seem to make me go crazy. She's laughing despite the fact that her pencil skirt and blouse are ruined and that it'll take more than dry cleaning to fix it.

But she's still happy.

And I am too.

I decided to be spontaneous and pick her up from the DA's office so that we could go out to dinner somewhere nice. I wanted to show her that I could be impulsive and romantic. Of course, the rainstorm that threw itself down on my car as I drove to her office told me that things might not go as planned.

But I'm not complaining even though I'm soaking wet and covered in goosebumps because I'm holding my jacket over her head. It's useless now considering the brunt of the storm hit us on the way from her office to my car.

Neither of us were prepared for the rain, especially her. She had stopped dead in her tracks when we exited the building. The rain was pelting down hard enough to cause the droplets to bounce off of the concrete and onto our shoes. She took a step back, trying to avoid ruining her heels but there was no way out of it.

 _"_ _I don't suppose there's any way that you could drive the car up to the door?" She asks, grinning as glances at me before scanning around at the downpour surrounding us. There are a few scattered pedestrians running for cover, newspapers, briefcases, and jackets all over their heads in a makeshift attempt at protection them from the onslaught of water._

 _"_ _I don't suppose you keep an umbrella in your office?" I question, copying her playful tone._

 _"_ _Touché." She chuckles as she takes another minute to look at the rain before turning to me. "Ready to get soaked?"_

 _I would've offered her my jacket right then and there expect I had left it in my car, leaving me only in a blouse that was already speckled with rain drops from when I ran into the building. Of course, I thought it would be nothing more than a short sprinkling, just enough to keep the grass green and the flowers happy._

 _Now the flowers didn't look too happy as they bent and swayed from the gusts of wind._

 _"_ _I guess," I reply with a shrug as I look up at the dark clouds surrounding the entire city. "I don't think this storm will be letting up anytime soon."_

 _She nods in agreement as she looks to me before grabbing onto my hand, probably for guidance. She has no idea where I parked my car. I flash her a reassuring smile before I step out into the rain, pulling her with me._

 _Normally I would've ran but she was in heels and there was no way she was capable of running in those especially with the ground slick from the first rain of the month. She cries out as she gets pelted by the first few drops but soon quiets knowing that this is nothing._

 _By the time we reach the car, we're both soaked to the bone, our clothes thoroughly saturated. "Heater!" She pleads as she shivers, her arms crossing over her soaked white blouse. I quickly turn on my car and blast the heater the max, readjusting the vents to hit her._

 _She shivers in response to the first gust of heat and tilts her head back, sighing as she lets the warmth take her over._

 _"_ _You're soaked you know."_

 _She opens up her eyes and looks at me curiously. "As are you."_

 _"_ _Yeah but you can't see my bra," I tease, causing her to straighten up as she glances down at her white blouse. She groans in response as she moves her arms to cover her peach colored bra. "At least it's not black." She grins._

One of her hands is clinging to my arm as she pulls me to the entrance of my apartment complex as fast as she can. By the time we get there, my jacket is soaked and when I remove it from over her head, water pours off of it and onto the concrete beneath us.

"I am s-so cold," She stutters as she wraps her arms around her soaked blouse more so in an attempt to remain modest for the doorman than to warm herself up. I don't hesitate as I wrap my arms around her back, giving them a quick run over her sides as if that alone would warm her up. Now my hands are thoroughly saturated.

"Good evening, Ms. Benson, Ms. Cabot. Quite the rainstorm today," The front desk attendant calls as he waves briefly at me. I guess Alex has been over enough that he's familiar with her now.

"Caught us off guard," I tell him as I chuckle. "Sorry to drag water in here!"

"No problem," He calls back before we slip into the elevator and I impatiently press my floor number repeatedly.

"I don't think that'll make it go any faster," She teases as she leans against me, one of my arms still wrapped around her waist.

"Of course it does! Haven't you heard? The more you press it, the fast the elevator goes," I joke, earning an amused grin from her.

"In that case, keep pressing it."

Finally we get up to my floor and we both walk as quickly as we can, my shoes squeaking against the floor. Once the door opens, Alex practically jumps back. "Liv! Your apartment is freezing!"

I grimace as I step around her, remembering that I left my bedroom window open from the night before to get some fresh air into my stuffy apartment. I kick off my shoes and jog into my bedroom, stopping short of sliding into a pile of fresh water. "Crap," I grumble as I slam the window shut and grab a bunch of towels from my bathroom. Once the puddle is gone, I hang up the towels before returning to Alex who is still standing in my doorway as she shivers.

Just looking at her reminds me that I'm freezing cold as well. A shiver runs down my spine as I take in her appearance, wet hair clinging to her face around unamused blue eyes. Her white blouse which she has since untucked from her skirt is entirely soaked, exposing her bra.

"You look…unhappy," I say as I walk over to her, my hands settling on the wet fabric of her skirt.

"Well, I'm soaking wet in your apartment which is like fifty degrees," She responds with a frown even though I can see the corner of her lips curling up into a smile.

"Then how about we get you warmed up?" I question as my hands slide up her hips and to her soaking blouse. I slowly unbutton it and her eyes turn a shade darker in response. She finally grins as she reaches behind herself, locking my door, before pushing me backwards.

"Oh and how do you suppose we do that?" She questions, her smile now amused as I pop off the last button of her blouse. I push it off of her shoulders but catch it before it can hit the floor.

"Well," I start off as I pull her into my bedroom, tugging her until her body is pressed up against mine. Her arms settle around my neck as she grins. "It may require getting you even _wetter_ ," I husk into her ear. Her grin grows as her hands tug at the zipper of her skirt.

I guide it down her legs, picking it up as well before I take a moment to admire her in her matching peach colored lingerie. She's smiling nervously even though we've both seen each other in nothing more than our undergarments.

My hands settle back on her hips before sliding around to her back. "Mm you are awfully cold," I tease as goosebumps rise into my hands. I pull her backwards and she seems confused for a second before we step into my bathroom.

She frowns. "You and I both had _very_ different ideas of how to warm up," She states as she shakes her head. I flash a grin at her as I reach into the shower and turn on the water as hot as it can go.

"I told you it required getting wetter."

"Not the type of wet I thought you were referring to."

"You're dirty," I tease as she rolls her eyes. "Now come on, get it. It's warm enough."

"You're joining me," She replies as she reaches over to me, quickly unbuttoning my shirt before pushing it off. I stop it before it can fall to the ground and give her a questioning look. As much as I'd love to take a hot, steamy shower with her, I'd rather not unnecessarily torture myself.

I know that I like her. I know that I really, _really_ like her—maybe even love—but I don't know if I'm ready to sleep with her.

It's not that I don't like the idea of being intimate with her, I know that I want to be with her. But sometimes I wonder if having sex is an obligation in her mind. I never want her to feel obligated to do anything she doesn't want to. I'd rather get to know her better, know all her quirks, before taking our relationship to the next level.

"Alex—"

"I'll keep this on, okay?" She says referring to her bra and underwear. "And you can keep yours on as well." She unhooks my belt and pushes my pants down as well.

She knows I can't say no to her.

The bathroom is already full of steam and we're both cold so I don't resist. I open up the glass down and give her a gentle shove in and she smiles as she pulls me in with her.

She groans softly in response when the hot water hits her and I'm frozen, watching the water droplets explore every inch of her body. I wonder what it'd feel like for me to trace my tongue down her shoulders, between her breasts, down her abdomen, and along her thighs.

I don't think I realized how beautiful her body was until now.

She's like a perfectly formed sculpture that I can't seem to stop staring at. Her shoulders are narrow yet defined, her collarbone protruding as she runs her hands through her tangled dark blonde locks. Her breasts are smaller than my own but they're perfect.

Her ribs are showing as she leans back, tipping her head under the warm water and I follow the streams path down her chest and across her tight abdomen. Her abs aren't nearly as defined as mine—which I enjoy—but her stomach is still completely flat, a thin sheet of muscles barely showing from underneath her pale skin.

It's only then, underneath the hot water and steam filling the room that I notice just how many freckles are scattered across her pale torso and I want nothing more than to trace them, stringing them all together like connect the dots with my fingertips and tongue.

I barely notice her arms extending toward me before I'm pulled toward her, my hands shooting up to steady myself against the wall behind her. She grins, now pinned against the wall with my arms on either side of her. "You were staring."

"I—yeah," I admit, knowing there's no reason for me to hide it now since she already knows how I feel.

"It's okay, I was staring to," She responds, causing me to exhale in relief. Of course, my relief is cut far too short when I feel her fingertips brush against my abdomen. I flex instinctively in response, my abs tightening into defined shape as her smile spreads.

"You have very defined muscles." Her fingertips trace them, playfully dipping low enough to touch the top of my underwear before gliding back up. Her other hand finds its way around my neck and she pulls me close, our lips pushing together in a firm kiss.

I groan in response, my eyes immediately shutting as her warm, wet lips glide against mine. My body relaxes, sinking against hers and she gasps when her back gets pressed completely against the cold tile of my shower.

She breaks the kiss, tipping her head back and I kiss my way down her neck, my tongue sliding through the water droplets clinging to her porcelain skin. "Suddenly…I'm feeling rather…hot…" She manages to gasp out as she weaves her hand in my hair and pulls my face back up to hers.

"I promised I'd warm you up," I reply with a sheepish grin. She cups my face with both of her hands, tracing my cheekbones with her thumbs before pulling me into a softer kiss. Our lips slide against each other smoothly with the water providing slickness until I feel her tongue probing against my lips.

I open my mouth to her, surprised at her attempt to take control of the kiss, something that I normally did. But somehow her lips are even sweeter when she's in charge and there's no way I'm going to battle her for dominance.

If she wants me, I'm hers.

By the time we break our kiss, I'm surprised the water hasn't ran cold. We're both panting, our cheeks red and our lungs out of air. "I think I'm warm enough now," She whispers as she runs her fingers over my lips with one hand while the other shuts off the water.

We stand there, dripping in nothing more than our undergarments as we admire each other. God, she's beautiful.

"Towels?" She questions as she glances around, not finding her towel in its normal spot on my rack. I frown as I look over, suddenly remembering that I had taken all the towels to clean up the mess on my bedroom floor. Oops.

"Uh, I used them all to clean up the water that dripped into my room." She glares at me as she wraps her arms over her chest.

"Guess I'm wearing your robe," She says as she slips out of the shower and grabs my robe off of the back of the door hook. She slips it on and grins, water droplets still lingering on her calves as she walks out of the bathroom. "I'll go get you a towel, hold still."

A minute later, she comes back with two towels and tosses one at me. I turn around and she takes the hint, turning around as well so that we can both take off our undergarments before drying ourselves. "You good?" I question once I'm wrapped up in my towel.

"Mhm," She hums in response and I turn around to see her looking a lot drier but still in my robe. I glance down, trailing my eyes down her body before looking up at her with a raised eyebrow. She bites her lips as she grins. "What?"

"You know I wear that when I'm naked, right?"

"I'm pretty sure I already have your cooties," She replies as she wraps her arms around her waist, wiggling and rubbing the robe against her bare skin.

I roll my eyes. "Come on, go change into a pair of sweats and a sweatshirt."

We both change quickly, Alex pulling on my sweats since I don't think she really owns any and my sweatshirt since she wore sweaters more often than not. While she takes a moment to remove her makeup and brush out her hair, I head to the kitchen to prepare drinks for the night.

We reconvene in the living room and she looks down at the two mugs in my hands curiously. "Hot chocolate," I explain as I hand it over to her.

She eyes it curiously before sniffing it. "Did you spike this?" She teases as she glances up at me.

"Not this time, Counselor. Peppermint extract for a little extra taste." She grins because I know it's her favorite.

"You're the best, Liv." She settles down on the couch with her hot chocolate while I rummage through my apartment, grabbing a few blankets and pillows before returning to the living room. Normally I would've snuggled with her in my bed except it is wet from the rain and I'm not in the mood to change my bed sheets and worry about if my mattress pad got wet.

She raises an eyebrow when I bring out both of our pillows and toss them down on the couch. "Our sleepover will occur here for the night…unless you want to go home, that is. My bed is wet from leaving the window open."

She looks at me for a second as she purses her lips. Instead of responding, she grabs onto my pillow and presses it against the arm of the couch before cuddling against it. "Hey, I bought you your own pillow!"

"But it doesn't smell like you," She replies with a small pout as she looks up at me.

I shake my head as I laugh at her. She could have my pillow if it made her happy. I'd give her anything to make her happy. I walk away for a moment to set up a rainy day movie as she spreads out the blankets, leaving no room for me. I frown as I walk back to her. "Where am I supposed to sit?" I tease as I look down at her.

"Underneath me." She winks as she hops off of the couch, showing that she's serious. I raise an eyebrow before I sit down on the couch, leaning back against the arm and slipping my legs underneath the blankets.

True to her word, she moves on top of me, slipping her legs between mine and her waist between my legs. I wrap my arms around her waist, pulling her closer as she leans against my chest, sighing contently. "Comfortable?"

"Very. You make a wonderful bed," She teases as she turns slightly so that she can look at the TV, one of her arms moving around my waist and pulling me closer.

My heart beats faster, much like it did the first time I found myself in this position with her. There is no rhyme or reason for it, she just has that effect on me. I tilt my head down and press a kiss on the top of her head.

The feeling of her body pressed closely against mine…I'll never get enough of it. She radiates warmth into me like the sun and her scent is beyond relaxing. We're twenty minutes into the movie before I finally turn my attention to it.

Our mugs drain quickly and the movie ends just as fast, leaving us both in my dark living room, snugging up against one another while listening to the soft pitter patter of rain against the windows. "Should we sleep?" I whisper as I run my hand across her temple. I'm unsure if she already fell asleep or not. She hums softly in response and rolls away from me onto her side so that she's pinned between my body and the couch. "I didn't mean you had to move away from me," I tease as I let her move around.

She lifts up her head and smiles at me as she removes her glasses and hands them to me. I set them onto my side table as she rubs her eyes sleepily before moving further down on the couch so that she's lying flat against it. She grabs onto my pillow and fluffs it up before resting her head on it, facing toward me.

I take the hint and slide down next to her, facing her as I slip a hand under her neck and the other around her back. She settles her head into the nook of my arm and her hands pull me closer so that she's squished between my body and the couch.

Minutes pass before she speaks up. "I feel so safe…wrapped up in your arms." I smile in the dark even though I know she can't see it. "I really like this, Liv." It's quiet for another beat. "I really like you."

"I really like you too, Alex," I whisper back, tilting my head down just enough to kiss her forehead. Instead, I'm met with her lips as she moves her head up to meet mine. She kisses me softly, neither of us deepening it.

"Can you believe that we could've been doing this months ago?"

I chuckle softly in response. "I think it's good that we waited…It gave us time for the sexual tension to build."

She laughs heartily in response, causing my body to shake along with hers since we're pressed so closely together. "Oh and did it build…I began to wonder if it was all in my head." I look at her in confusion even though I know she can't see me but she seems to understand what my silence means.

"I was waiting for you to push me up against the nearest wall and take me then and there…I wouldn't have minded, you know."

"Are you kidding me?" I ask, shocked by her admission. "And here I was thinking that you didn't feel the same way. You kept teasing me and then you'd ignore it all. I thought it was all in _my_ head."

She chuckles softly in response. "Oh Liv. I really wanted you but I just…I wasn't sure…what we'd be. I was afraid."

"Afraid of what?"

She's quiet for a beat before she takes a deep breath and I can feel her ribs expanding against my torso. "I was afraid that once we…had sex…you'd just…give up on our friendship. I was afraid that I wouldn't be enough for you…that all I was good for was a roll in the hay and that once would be enough for you or maybe it wouldn't be what you expected. I know I shouldn't have thought that."

She sighs softly as she turns her head, burying it against my chest. "I—I think I'm still afraid…Tell me I'm crazy?" Her voice is almost pleading and I feel my heart sink in my chest but I can't quite formulate the appropriate response. "Please?"

"You're not crazy," I respond, her body immediately stiffening against mine. "It's okay to be afraid, Alex. I can't promise you that I'll never hurt you or upset you but I can promise I'll never do it intentionally. And I promise I'll never leave you over something so petty. My end goal isn't sex. And I wish I could go back in time and stop whoever hurt you."

We stay there curled up in each other's arms, neither of us saying anything as the minutes ticked by.

"What is your end goal?" I smile as I take a moment to think about it. In the past, I wanted relationships. I wanted sex that could take my mind away from the horrors I saw every day. I wanted someone that was so innocent that they never saw the horrors that I did.

But now? What do I want now?

Her, is the simple answer.

I take a deep breath, ready to give her a completely honest answer because she deserves that much. "I want a house to call a home, a white picket fence, a dog that loves tracking mud into the house, and two-point-five kids running around in the front yard while my better half chases them, laughing freely."

I pause, not sure if I'm about to overstep my boundary. "I want it all, Alex…" _And right now I want it with you._ I can't seem to say the rest of my sentence in fear that she'll run as fast as she can. We've only been dating for three weeks.

"I didn't hear sex anywhere in there," She teases, her tone light.

"I'll admit, I would love to…" _Make love to you…_ "Have sex with you at some point, Alex. You're gorgeous and breathtaking but that's the least interesting thing about you. You're brilliant and kind. I love the way you look when you wake up first thing in the morning and your hair is all messy and you really want to go back to sleep but you'll get up for me. I love the way you always want to cuddle with me even though I never pegged you as a cuddler."

She laughs softly and my heart soars.

"So yes, I would absolutely love to have sex with you but I don't just want it to be _sex_. I want it to be slow and romantic and most importantly I want _you_ to want it too _._ "

I'm not sure if I'm imagining things or if my shirt is actually wet from Alex crying; I hope not. I never want to make her cry.

"You're the longest lasting relationship I've ever had, you know," She whispers and suddenly I feel like crying. Three weeks. We've been together for a mere three weeks.

I swear to god I will find whoever hurt her and destroy them…But for now I have something more important to do.

I have her.

And no one will ever break her heart again as long as I have a say in it.


	27. Chapter 27

When my phone vibrates in my pocket, pulling me away from my current case file, I can't help but smile. "Hey," I somehow manage to husk out even though I'm trying to keep my voice neutral.

I can practically hear her smiling through the phone as she says, "Hey you. How has your day been so far?"

I sigh as I lean back in my desk, watching Elliot curiously as he dutifully works in his report. "Pretty good. It's been a long day in the office and I'm itching to get out but the day's almost over." I lower my voice as I glance up at Elliot once more, hoping he can't hear. "And then when I get home I'll have you waiting for me."

Elliot glances up and I immediately drop my gaze to my desk, hoping to hell that he didn't hear that otherwise he'll have dozens of questions that I don't have answers to. "Liv." Her voice causes my heart to drop because I know she's going to give me bad news. "Unfortunately Petrovsky approved the defense's move to suppress evidence. I think I'm going to be pulling an all-nighter in hopes to pull something together that might win this case for me."

"That's okay, I'm sorry that she did that," I tell her, keeping any key words out of my side of the conversation so that Elliot won't know who I'm talking to. It's not that I'm ashamed of Alex—hell, I'm beyond proud about the fact that she chose me out of all the options in the world—but I just don't want trouble from Elliot since our relationship is still young.

"Yeah, I think she's trying to pay me back for the little slip I had the last time I was in her court room. Either way, I'm stuck here at least until ten so I won't be going to your place."

"Are you planning on going home at all or are you going to sleep in your…there?" I ask, watching Elliot as he raises an eyebrow. He's still listening in to my side of the conversation even though he's pretending that he's not.

"It depends how late. If it's before midnight, I'll just head home."

"Okay, hey do me a favor and call me before you leave tonight," I say as I turn around and get out of my chair so that Elliot can no longer ease drop. "I want to make sure that you get to your car safe."

"I stay late in the office a lot, Liv," She says, not in an irritated voice but rather an informative one.

"I know, I know. It's just that I'd like to hear your voice before bed anyway." I walk into one of the interrogation rooms and lean up against the door. "I'll miss you tonight."

She laughs in response and I can hear her chair squeaking as she leans back. "I'll miss you too. Are we still on for this weekend?"

"Of course. Hey, I have to go but call me tonight, okay?"

"Alright. Bye Liv."

"Bye Alex," I say softly as I hang up and shove my phone back into my pocket before returning to my desk. Elliot looks up at me as he sets down his file, raising an eyebrow. I ignore him and turn back to my paperwork, shuffling through it even though I was pretty much done.

"So who was that?" He finally asks, breaking the silence.

"Your wife, she says to be home on time tonight," I counter, earning a glare from him.

"Oh come on, if you have a special guy in your life I want to meet him, Liv. I'm happy for you."

"There's no special guy in my life," I drone like always.

"Liar, you were talking about having someone waiting for you at home."

"I bought a new dog," I deadpan, eliciting an eye roll from him.

"Yeah right. You're not home enough to take care of a dog. So who is he and why is he already spending nights over?"

"Why so curious?" I counter, watching as a flash of jealousy crosses his face. I didn't need to ask; I knew exactly why he was curious. Just like all my previous male suitors, he'll pick the newest one apart, pointing out every single flaw just to prove that they're not as great as he is. Sometimes I just want to scream, that's the point, Elliot, they're not you!

"Because we're partners and I care about you. Hafta make sure he isn't an ex-convict or something."

"I think I'd know if I was dating an ex-convict," I reply as I roll my eyes.

"Oh, so you are dating someone, huh? When am I going to meet him? Hey, maybe we get go out to drink on Friday and you can bring him along."

"We already have a full booth," I tease, knowing that now I'm just driving him mad.

"Then un-invite Alex. That way your new boyfriend can sit next to you." Oh if only you knew, Elliot… "Speaking of Alex, maybe now she'll finally get the hint that you're taken."

"Excuse me?" I snap as I look up at him in surprise.

"What? You can't honestly say you didn't notice how touchy feely she gets around you. I swear she has a crush on you or something. It's kinda creeping me out."

"Alex does _not_ have a crush on me," I counter. She just likes me enough to date me…

"Yeah yeah, whatever you say. I bet you twenty bucks Alex will be pissed if you showed up with a guy and told her that you had a boyfriend. She seems like the jealous type."

"Pay up." He looks at me in confusion. "I'm dating Alex." He stares at me for a second before his eyes widen and he starts laughing his ass off.

"Yeah, right, good one Liv! Dating Alex…" He starts laughing again, deep from his belly. "Like anyone would be able to put up with her. She's probably all demanding in bed. That's probably the only thing she's good for."

I'm out of my seat, Elliot's shirt collar bunched up in my fist before the sound of my chair falling against the floor reaches my ears. "What the hell did you just say?" I growl at him, tightening my hold around his collar. He looks at me in confusion as he grabs onto my wrist and tries to pull me off. "What the hell did you just say about her?"

"Jesus, what the heck, Olivia," He mumbles out as he pulls at my hand but I keep my grip firm. "Get off."

"Tell me what you just said. Or are you a chicken shit? You can talk crap about her but you're too afraid to repeat it?"

"What? No! Come on Liv, you know how she is. She's a rich bitch. We've never seen her with any guys so that leads me to think that all she is good for is opening her legs. She obviously can't hold a relationsh—" Before he can finish his sentence, there's a resounding crack in the room and my fist is stinging as my hand shakes.

"Fuck! What the hell!" Elliot cries out as he drops down into his chair, rolling back a few feet as he covers his bleeding nose. "What the fuck is wrong with you? You probably broke my nose!"

"Yeah, you deserved it," I growl out right before I hear a throat clear behind me.

"Benson, get the hell out of my precinct and don't return until you've collected yourself. I will not tolerate my detectives fighting." I turn around to see Cragen, a stern look on his face. I huff in response as I reach over to my desk and pull out my belongings before slamming the drawer shut. I grab my jacket off of the back of my chair and leave.

When I get to my car, the only person I can think of is Alex so instead of going home, I go to see her. It doesn't take me long before I'm already parked and speed walking toward Alex's office. Once I'm there, I don't bother knocking, instead I push the door open and quickly feel all the high strung tension from Elliot leave my body.

He doesn't know her.

"Liv," She says, obviously caught off guard as she glances at her clock then back to me. "Did we have plans for dinner?" I take a deep breath and sigh, letting my anger leave me as I quietly shut the door behind me and slowly walk over to her desk. "Olivia." Her voice sounds like a warning now. "What's going on?"

He doesn't know what I've seen.

I shake my head as cover my mouth with my hand, taking another deep, relaxing breath. "What happened to your hand?" She's out of her chair before I have time to realize my mistake. She pulls my hand away from my mouth and examines my lightly bruised knuckles. "You're bleeding."

He doesn't know the things she admitted to me.

"It's not mine," I mumble as a wave a nausea overcomes me. I punched Elliot. I punched my _partner_. What the hell am I going to do?

He doesn't know how broken she seems sometimes.

"Okay, Liv, sit down you look like you're about to fall," Alex warns as she guides me over to her couch. I sink into the cushions immediately, closing my eyes and tipping my head back against the couch. "Did a suspect attack you in interrogation? Do I need to go down there? I'll make sure he's arraigned tomorrow."

He'll never know what I know.

She keeps rambling on but I don't stop her. "You need this cleaned. You never know what type of diseases people have these—"

"It's Elliot's." Her hands which were on mine, still.

"What?" She questions, the surprise in her voice. She lifts up my hand and I can feel her run her fingers over the bruising while avoiding the blood. "You punched Elliot? What happened in the interrogation room? Did you miss?"

"No, I punched him in the squad room."

"What in the world are you talking about?" When I don't answer her, I feel the couch sink in next to me and a soft hand cups my chin. "Olivia Benson, open up your eyes and look at me." I do as I'm told, suddenly feeling like a child getting in trouble for pushing someone down on the playground again. "Now tell me what happened."

I sigh as I use my uninjured hand to rub the back of my neck. "He was being an asshole and saying stupid stuff—"

"So you punched him?" She interrupts, her voice sounding irritated.

"No, I mean yes. I punched him but if you were there you would've punched him too."

"Olivia, I would not resort to violence just because I didn't like what one of my coworkers said. Maybe you're a little higher strung than me and tension is running high between you two but that's no excuse to punch someone."

"How many men have you slept with?" The word roll out of my mouth before I have a chance to take them back.

She looks shocked. "I told you, one. Robert."

"And how many relationships have you had?"

"I don't see what this has to do—"

"Answer me, Alex. How many relationships have you had?" I interrupt, my conversation with Elliot coming back to me.

"Including this one?" She questions, gesturing between both of us. I can merely nod, too afraid to know the answer. "Two." She says it so quietly, I almost miss it.

"Two," I parrot as I close my eyes. Two relationships? How the hell does someone only have two relationships by the time they're thirty? "And how many women have you had sex with?"

"Olivia! That is absolutely none of your business." She's angry, that much is obvious. "How could you even ask me that?" Now I just feel guilty but I want—no, need—to know. I need to prove Elliot wrong.

I stay quiet and she scoffs in response before getting off of the couch. "I have work to do. You can stay until you're feeling better but then I want you out of my office." Her voice is eerily calm and I keep my eyes closed as her heels click against the floor, fading away from me.

I hear her chair move as she sits back down and she sighs once more before I hear some papers shuffle. "I wanted to defend you." The paper shuffling stops but she still doesn't say anything, probably waiting for me to continue. "He was saying things about you and it made me so angry that I snapped, okay? I shouldn't have punched him but I did and I thought that asking you would make me feel like I was in the right."

"He was asking about my sexual partners?" She asks, the disbelief in her voice obvious.

"No, not directly."

"But somehow asking me how many people I've slept with will prove you right? What did he say?" Her voice is calmer now, as if she's actually hurt by the fact that Elliot was talking about her.

"It's not important, Alex."

"The hell it isn't. You punched him over it, Olivia. Obviously it was pretty important! What did he say, I'm only trying to sleep with you? What could possibly cause you to punch your own partner?" She questions angrily, her voice rising now. "God, Olivia I don't know if I can be in a relationship where my partner isn't honest with me."

Her words cause me to straighten up and open my eyes, a flash of anger crossing them. How dare she say that I'm not honest with her. I'm trying to protect her! I'm trying to protect her because I care about her and here she thinks I'm just keeping secrets? "He said all you're good for is spreading your legs!" By the time the words leave my mouth, it's too late.

I clasp my bruised hand over my mouth and she turns to me, her mouth parted and her eyes wide. "Alex, I'm sorry I didn't mean—"

"And you believed him," She cuts me off. "You think that's all I'm good for."

"No, of course not, Alex! Don't say that," I argue with her, trying desperately to regain control of our conversation. I would never think that about you after what you've told me. But I can't seem to say those words out loud.

"But you were asking me how many people I've slept with! How could I not assume that? I've only been in two relationships and I've slept with dozens of women, is that what you want to hear?"

"No," I whisper but she doesn't seem to hear me as she continues yelling.

"That I'm soiled, dirty, used? That I've never been in a steady relationship in my life before? That the only relationship before you ended in me being slapped by my father and my girlfriend losing her job?" She scoffs as she shakes her head.

"I bet you'd love to know that that relationship only lasted three weeks. Yeah, I slept with a twenty-four year old after _three_ weeks. But don't worry, I've done worse than that. I lost my virginity when I was fourteen to a twenty-eight year old who said it'd be _fun._ " She spits out the last word and it's only then that I realize how hurt she really is.

I did that to her.

I hurt her.

I promised I would never hurt her.

My stomach churns. I finally regain control of my body and push myself off of the couch, immediately grabbing onto her sides and pulling her to me. "Don't touch me, I'm dirty, remember?"

I sigh as I pull her close to me, wrapping my arms around her back. "No you're not. You're not dirty, you're not used. You're not any of those things. And we both know that you didn't lose your virginity at fourteen, Alex. That was _rape_."

"Statutory," She counters as she shakes her head. "And I didn't say no."

'It doesn't matter, you and I both know that. You weren't legally able to consent." She opens up her mouth to speak but I cut her off. "No, don't argue with me and let me speak please. I wasn't asking you those questions because I was afraid he was right. I would never think that about you even if you slept with two hundred different women. I was trying to prove that I was right in punching him but now I know that I don't need facts to prove that."

I sigh as I brush my hand across her cheek. Let me take your pain away…

"I'm really sorry for asking you those questions, Alex. I had no right to question your previous relationships and sexual partners. And I know for a fact that you're so much more than what he said about you. You're an amazing woman and anyone would be lucky to be in a relationship with you. Hell, we haven't even had sex yet so that right there proves him wrong."

She laughs softly as she pushes my chest playfully. "It wasn't as if I didn't want to," She whispers quietly.

"Uh, last time I checked you're the one who rejected me on the couch because you wanted to wait until we were at one of our apartments," I tease, knowing I've got her. "We could always change that," I quip as I pull her over to the couch.

I sit down, pulling her with me until she's awkwardly straddling my lap. "Olivia!" She exclaims, her hands gripping onto my shoulder as she laughs. "My door is unlocked, you know."

"Let them walk in, I don't care. I'm off duty anyway and you're supposed to be off."

She glances up at the clock and frowns. "What do you mean you're off duty? Wait, why are you even here? You're still supposed to be working."

"Cap kicked me out. Told me not to come back until I have my shit together," I explain as my hands settle on her hips. "I'm really upset," I tease as I look up at her with a mischievous grin. "Maybe you can make me feel better?" I ask suggestively as my hands slip under her blouse.

"No." She grabs onto my hands and pushes them back out of her shirt. "Not here, Benson. Besides, I'm supposed to be yelling at you right now."

"Ah come on, Cap yelled at me enough," I argue as I settle my hands on her hips once more and start moving them backwards.

She stops me from cupping her rear and raises an eyebrow. "For your _deviant_ behavior, you don't get to sleep with me tonight," She teases even though she had to stay at work later than usual so she wasn't coming over anyway.

"Such a harsh punishment," I murmur as I pull her closer and press my lips against the bare skin on her collarbone. "I can't do anything to ease my punishment?" I brush my lips along the prominent bone before sliding down between the split in her shirt.

"Absolutely not," She interrupts as she leans back before getting off of my lap. "Now go home and…think about what you did." She grins as she laughs at herself. "God, I sound like a mom."

"Awh, do you want to punish me?" I tease as I get up off of the couch and walk toward her.

"Oh gross, Liv," She replies as she pushes me away from her. "That's some kinky fetish that I will not put up with," She teases, knowing that's not what I meant.

"I didn't mean it like that!" I exclaim as I feel myself blushing.

"I know, I know. Now go home so I can work." I frown but pull her to me and kiss her on the forehead before heading to the door. "What, no real kiss?"

"Now you have a reason to come over tonight," I tell her as I flash her my signature grin. "Even if it's at one in the morning, Alex. I don't care."

She smiles back at me as she shakes her head. "Go home, Liv."

"I'll miss you," I whisper as I open up the door and slip out.


	28. Chapter 28

**A/N: To answer a question, there is no "customary" time period in which you should sleep with someone. In Alex's mind, she thinks that she "dirty" and "used" because she's slept with so many people relatively quickly, at least quickly in her mind. This is her viewpoint (not necessarily mine) so please don't try to interpret my writing as a time frame for when you should/shouldn't have sex. And to the person who says Alex and Olivia have already had sex, I don't consider what they did previously "sex" per se. I don't really want to define what I consider sex so let's move on...**

* * *

I'm awoken, surprisingly, by the feeling of my bed moving. I blink my eyes open in confusion only to see a dark room. A weight shifts next to me and I turn to see a body next to mine, a very familiar body. "Alex," I whisper as I lie back down on my mattress, sighing in relief.

"Shh, I didn't mean to wake you. Go back to sleep," She whispers as she moves around a bit more, presumably changing into her night clothes. I smile when I feel the bed shift once more and a waft of cold air hits me.

The covers descend over my body and Alex moves next to me until her body is pressed up against mine. "I'm glad you came over," I whisper as I peek at the clock telling me that it's after midnight.

She shifts closer to me and her arm slips across my chest and a leg slides between mine. I wrap my arm around her back, pulling her until she's resting half of her body on top of mine and her head is nuzzled underneath my chin.

"Me too," She responds quietly as she adjusts her head and moves her hand away from my chest. She pushes it back up, this time under my shirt and I gasp as her fingers come into contact with my bare skin.

"Jeez, Alex, you're freezing cold!"

"Sorry," She replies back sheepishly as she attempts to move her hand off of my chest but I use my free hand to keep it in place. She sighs softly in response before settling against my body once more. I abandon her hand and instead wrap my arm around her back, holding her to me.

My mind is still swarming from our argument just a few hours prior but new thoughts overcome me. I want nights like this with her _every_ night. I want her to come home to _me_ every night. I want her to press her cold fingers against my body in order to stay warm. I want to wake up in a tangled mess of limbs come morning, both of us still fully dressed. I want lazy mornings and rushed breakfasts with too many cups of coffee because we didn't want to get out of bed when our alarms went off.

I want it all with her already, even though we've only been dating for a few weeks. I want all the physical things with her but also the emotional. Yesterday showed me just how much I had to do to prove to Alex that she was worthy of being loved, that she wasn't dirty or used.

Instinctively I pull her closer to me as I think of all the horrible people that convinced her she wasn't worth their love. Two relationships. Two. That had to hit me the hardest. I'm not one for relationships and yet I've had more than her. And two meant a relationship that lasted three weeks and one barely past three weeks.

I press a kiss to her forehead, even though I'm sure she's asleep. "Someday I'll prove to you that you're worth the world," I whisper as I brush my lips across smoothed brow, no longer filled with worry lines. "Someday."

When I wake up the following morning, Alex is still fast asleep and I know she forgot to set her alarm. I blink back the light entering my room and glance up at the clock which alerts me that Alex needs to wake up within the next twenty minutes or else she'll be late for court.

I turn back to look at her, or her back at least considering I'm spooning her from behind. Begrudgingly, I press a kiss to the bare skin at the nape of her neck. "Alex," I murmur as I slide my lips higher and press another kiss right beneath her ear. "Time to wake up, beautiful."

Finally she starts moving, her body stretching out as I remove my leg from on top of hers so that she can do so. "Can you be my alarm clock every morning?" She whispers, her voice still thick with sleep. I smile when I hear her talk; I've found that her sleepy voice is one of my favorite sounds in the world.

"I'd gladly wake you up for the rest of your life as long as you're sharing my bed," I reply as I kiss her neck again, causing her to chuckle softly. "Thanks for coming over last night."

"Well, how could I resist spending another night curled up in bed with my detective?" She questions as she pulls away from me, only to turn around in my arms so that she's facing me now.

"I figured the need for sleep would overpower your need for me," I tease as I admire her ruffled blonde hair from tossing and turning the night before. I woke a few hours after we both fell asleep to her mumbling unintelligible words as she pulled away from me and tossed between the sheets. I managed to get her to calm down within a few minutes but she woke me again, an hour later.

"I probably wouldn't have gotten as much sleep if I slept on my office couch," She counter as slides closer to me and ducks her head, pressing it against my chest as she wraps her arms around my waist. "You're the most comfortable body pillow the in the world."

I roll my eyes in response as I push my hands under her shirt. By the sound of her soft sigh, I know she's expecting, waiting, craving for me to touch her but instead I tickle her sides. She cries out as she pulls away from me, pushing on my chest. "Olivia!"

"It's time for you to get up," I explain as I point to the clock.

She frowns as she rubs her eyes and zones in on the green letters. "I don't have to get up for fifteen more minutes," She counters as she turns back to me with a devious grin. "We can do a lot in fifteen minutes." She slides back over onto the mattress before straddling my waist suggestively.

" _Except_ you need to shower," I tell her as I place a hand against her chest, stopping her from advancing on me. As much as I want her, here and now—every damn second, really—I'm not going to be the cause of her being held in contempt when she shows up late for court with hickeys on her neck.

"We could shower together…save time." She manages to slip her hands under my shirt before I grab onto them.

"That would be a wonderful argument expect I've been temporarily suspended by Cragen so I'm not going in today."

She frowns, our conversation from yesterday coming back to her now. "Seriously, Liv? Now I have to put up with Elliot all alone." She pretends to pout as she looks down at me.

"Maybe I can make it up to you," I offer up as I run my hands up her sides suggestively. She grins as she leans down, lowering her body on top of mine. "Uh-ah," I whisper as she reaches for the hem of her shirt. "No time for that, trust me. I'm going to be taking my time with you when it happens." Instead, I lift up her head and kiss her.

She moans softly in response and seems temporarily satisfied with making out instead of sex. She leans into me, her hands pushing into my hair as we kiss, deepening it even though I know we shouldn't. We continue making out with minimal touching before I manage to convince her to shower and get ready for court while I make breakfast for her.

It doesn't take long for her to reappear with her hair already blow-dried and one of her suits—which had moved into my apartment months ago—on. She appears behind me, wrapping both of her arms around my waist as she props her chin on my shoulder. "Mm, smells amazing," She husks in my ear as she kisses my cheek. "Thank you for cooking."

"Of course, now go sit down and I'll plate everything up."

Breakfast is finished, within minutes of us both sitting down since I made it light, knowing that she tends to be nervous before court. If you looked at her, you never would've guessed that inside she was as nervous as they come. She worried about losing her case, disappointing the victim, and freeing another criminal but she never let it show.

I only found out when I found her in the bathroom before court one day, cold water running into an empty sink as she leaned down and took in ragged breathes. She immediately tried to hide her nerves but eventually admitted that she got this way every day before court and she often couldn't eat beforehand.

I dropped her off at work even though I wasn't going in that day and promised that I'd swing by with lunch so we could discuss how court went. She agrees, like always, a small smile on her lips. As I drive back to my apartment, I think back to when I first met her. She never smiled—or she did, she just never smiled sincerely. She always seemed upset about something, almost lost. As if the only thing keeping her together was her forced smile. I can't help but wonder if she got better at faking her smile or if she is truly happy with me.


	29. Chapter 29

When Elliot calls me a little before eleven, I almost don't want to pick up but I know he has a reason. "What?" I growl out as I put the phone to my ear, ready to rip him a new one.

"Cap wants you down at the precinct ASAP," He tells me, his voice surprisingly calm.

"Yeah, well he told me not to come back until I have my shit together," I argue as I get off of my couch and turn off the TV. And here I was just beginning to enjoy my day after running errands all morning and filling up my refrigerator.

"Well we have bigger problems than you punching me, Liv. Four dead bodies since three am this morning."

I pause, unsure of what to say. "Did I break it?"

He laughs and I can just see him rolling his eyes. "No but it's still swollen. The beat cops are making fun of me."

"And Kathy?" I question, surprised that I didn't get a call from her the moment Elliot arrived home.

There's a long moment of silence between us. "She moved out. Took the kids with her to her parent's house." Normally I'd tease him and ask him what the hell he did this time but I don't. This certainly isn't the first time that she left but it sounded like it was taking a toll on him.

"I'm sorry, I didn't know."

"Look, just get here, okay? I can't handle this case on my own. We're pulling Fin and Munch off of their current case and pushing all paperwork to a new guy so we can focus on this."

"Yeah, okay, I'll be there in twenty minutes."

"Okay." There's a beat of silence and I'm about to hang up before he speaks once more. "And Liv?" I wait for him to continue. "I'm sorry about what I said about Cabot. Nobody should ever say that about a woman."

"Just don't do it again," I finally reply. I hang up before he has time to say anything else because I don't want to hear his excuses. I faintly wonder if he said what he did on purpose, knowing he'd get a rise out of me.

True to my word, I'm at the precinct twenty minutes later already pinning up pictures of suspects onto a board. Four dead bodies. Four women who were brutally raped and beaten before slowly being bled out. It was sickening. But I could handle it.

At least until Elliot pinned up their photos.

All had long blonde hair and blue eyes. All were tall and thin. Apparently I wasn't the only one to observe the resemblance because Elliot said they already talked to Huang about the rapist having a type.

And two hours later, when Alex wanders into the precinct, she's surprised when she sees me. "Detective Benson," She says, glancing at Elliot before back to me.

"Uh, hey Counselor. How was court?"

She smiles in response as she walks over to the board set up with pictures. "Looks like we'll get a conviction. The defense was off their game today. New case?"

Elliot speaks instead of me and I'm taken aback by the sincerity in his voice. "Four women raped and murdered have been found since four am this morning. Munch and Fin just left because someone called in another body dumped in an alleyway."

She doesn't say anything as she crosses her arms over her chest and looks at the board. Her eyes land on the pictures of the victims and I hold my breath but she doesn't say anything. Everyone else in the room is documenting the similarities except her. She doesn't know that they're all well off women with no children or husband. She doesn't know that they all have blue eyes because the pictures show their faces from the morgue. She hasn't seen their driver's license to know that they're all her height.

"Any suspects yet?" She questions, turning back to me as if seeing so many faces similar to her didn't affect her. Maybe it really didn't. She didn't know.

"No. The bodies just keep coming in. We've canvased the scenes the best that we can considering that there are so many and so few of us. We called in homicide for help and another medical examiner. Warner thinks that the women were killed elsewhere and dropped off at different locations."

"So a mass killing and then the guy decided to dump all the bodies one morning? Do we think he's done? Or is the press going to blow up a new serial rapist in New York and scare the public?"

"Let's hope nobody leaks this," Elliot mumbles as he rubs the scruff on his chin. "We'll let you know if we have anything else, Counselor."

"Thanks," She replies as she looks at Elliot and then back to me raising an eyebrow. I shrug. "Detective Benson, can I have a word with you about your upcoming testimony?"

I spare a glance at the pictures once more before nodding and following her into an interrogation room. "What was that about?" I shut the door and look at her in confusion. "How come yesterday Elliot was saying certain _things_ about me and today he's all nice? What'd you say to him?"

"I actually didn't say anything. He called me this morning and said we had a case. I got pulled in because he looks like we might have a serial." I watch her for a moment but she doesn't seem the least bit concerned about the case—at least not concerned that she looks so similar to the victims.

"Oh," She says, slightly taken aback. "I—I don't understand. You know what, now's not the time. Right now we need to focus on the case. Is there anything you need from me?"

"At the moment, no. We don't know too much. Huang has already been called in and we've been exploring the possibility that the rapist has a type." I pause, giving it a moment to sink in but she doesn't seem concerned. "We're not sure if he was just stocking up bodies before dumping them or what. Melinda said they were all in different stages of decomposition so that might be the case."

"So he might be done," She suggests.

"Or he might be waiting to see if he'll get caught before he goes on another raping spree. I'm hoping you're right but we don't know. We need to treat this like he's still going to be attacking women." She doesn't seem shaken up in the least bit.

"Okay, is there a general location that the bodies are being dumped? Maybe we can increase the patrol cops around the area?"

"Already called it in. The bodies are all over the place though. Each area is now taped off as a crime scene so I doubt he'll be stupid enough to drop a body near one."

"What did Huang say?"

I sigh, wondering how much I should really tell her. Do I want her to fear for her own life? "Huang thinks he has a type." I pause but she doesn't react.

"They're all blonde…"

Nothing.

"They all have blue eyes."

Not even a flinch.

"They're all well off. No husbands or children. They're all roughly five-foot-eight. They're all just like—" But I can't say it. As much as I want her to be aware and alert, I don't want her to be scared. I can't do it.

"Oh." She purses her lips as she looks to the side. I wait in silence, wondering if she made the connection herself. It would be impossible for her not to. "I guess there's no easy way to alert all women matching her description. There have to be thousands. Are they all from a similar area?"

I shake my head in response, honestly shocked that she doesn't have more to say. "No, not that we can find. They all live far apart. No similarities. We're still trying to ID one of them though. Hopefully that might help us out."

"Okay, well keep me updated please. Call me in if you have a suspect, I want to watch the interrogation." Hell to the no… I would never call her in because then she could become a target. No way.

"Yeah." There, I didn't lie. I was saying yes to keeping her updated, not calling her in for the interrogation.

Before she leaves, she places her hand on my arm and gives me a brief kiss on the cheeks. "I missed lunch with you today. Will you come over tonight?" Always. Especially if it meant I could keep an eye on her.

"Of course. How about I pick you up from your office when you get off?" She nods in response before leaving and I resist the urge to follow her just to make sure that she makes it back to her office alright.

As promised, I pick her up, only to bring her back to the precinct because Elliot and I were planning on staying a bit longer in a Hail Mary attempt to get something on the rapist. Since Alex left, two more bodies were found and my nervousness about the scenario skyrocketed.

Alex had insisted that she could take a taxi home since I was staying late but I begged her to stay, somehow convincing her that we could use a pair of fresh eyes.

So she stayed.

And so did the heavy churning in my stomach.

After four more hours, putting us two hours before midnight, I tried to convince Elliot that we would be of no use anymore.

"Liv, _seven_ bodies," He says. As if I needed a reminder.

"I know, I know."

"And yet you want us to just call quits for the night?"

"No, of course not. Look, Munch and Fin are staying through the night so that we can sleep and refresh ourselves, they said it themselves. We're no use dead on our feet," I try to explain as I glance back to Alex who is now sitting at my desk, her head tipped back with her eyes closed. I think she fell asleep a few minutes ago in that position. Her neck has to hurt.

He follows my gaze before turning back to me. "It's because of her, isn't it?" I look up at him, ready to fight. "Don't lie. You're the one who dragged her here even though you know we don't her help."

"I—yes, I just wanted her near us. Just in case."

He nods, surprisingly in an understanding way. "Does she know she fits the description?"

I shrug. "I don't think so."

"And you're not going to tell her."

"I don't want to scare her for nothing. If I can stay around her I can guarantee that she'll be safe. I don't want her constantly looking over her shoulder because she thinks that she might be next," I tell him, hoping he'll get it.

"Yeah, okay. Look, I'm not fond of her but I wouldn't wish rape and murder on any woman. So why don't you go wake her up and take her home, okay? Just get back here by seven am so we can pick up where we left off."

"Thank you for understanding," I tell him as I smile, sincerely for once. At least he still had his priorities straight. I take his silence as approval to leave and walk toward the sleeping blonde.

I smile without even knowing it as I look down at her. I place my hand on her shoulder and gently shake. "Alex, wake up sweetheart," I whisper, loud enough to wake her but quiet enough so that only she hears it.

She squirms slightly, her eyes slowly popping open as she straightens up in my chair. She grimaces as she places a hand around the back of her neck. I figured she'd be sore. "Hey, sorry I didn't realize I fell asleep."

"It's no problem. I'm going to take you home, okay?"

"Oh, Liv, that's okay. I'll go catch a taxi so that you can continue working on the case. I don't want to be the reason why you stop."

"I'm dead on my feet, Alex," I say light heartedly even though I do feel exhausted. Cases like these have a way of doing that to me.

"Okay," She whispers softly as she reaches out a hand to brush my cheek before she pulls back, remembering that we're still in the squad room. "Will you—" She glances around before turning back to me. "Will you come home with me?"

I smile. Like I could ever say no to that face. "Of course." _I'd do anything to keep you safe._

A short drive later and we're at her apartment, already in our clothes for the night. I do my nightly routine of checking to make sure her door is locked but this time it's different.

This time I check the windows, too.

And when I curl up next to her in bed, spooning her from behind, I make sure that my gun is on her nightstand, an arm's length away from me.

If she notices, she keeps it to herself.

* * *

 **A/N: I know that some of you are probably groaning in disapproval at me right about now but please have a little faith in me and trust that I'm not throwing in this case as a filler or to cause more unnecessary drama. There is a reason for it which you will see! Also, a little redemption for Elliot. I do like the guy but his religious beliefs made me write him the way I did initially.**


	30. Chapter 30

It takes three days.

Three days and three more bodies, one for each day, bringing the total count to ten. The most recent ones discovered are more recent kills, according to Warner. Within the last twenty-four hours which means he's still raping and killing.

It's officially a serial rapist. Cragen broadcasted it on the news last night, warning all women to stay inside at night and avoid walking alone if they absolutely had to be out.

Alex watched the broadcast with me but she didn't say anything.

She didn't say anything when I insisted on driving her to work every morning and driving her home every night. She didn't say anything about me spending the night, every single night, either.

She calms me down when I have nightmares in the middle of the night of a faceless man grabbing her as she walks to her car. She doesn't say anything when I call her name out during my night terrors—and I know I do because I wake up mid-scream, her wide blues eyes prominent in my mind as the faceless man holds her down and strips her bare.

She lets me hold her after my nightmares and she never complains when I pull her to me just a little too close. She doesn't even say anything when my gun migrates from the nightstand to under my pillow.

If she hasn't caught onto the similarities by now I'd be floored. I think she just doesn't want me to worry.

But I can't help it.

I promised I'd protect her.

But on the third day, we caught a break. Video footage of a man leaving one of the scenes and getting into a car, the license plate clearly visible. Of course, it's registered to an elderly woman but she has two sons. One lives in Texas, however, making our choice easier.

We pick him up and try our best to process the footage in hopes to make it clearer. It's footage of him leaving the scene but not dumping the body. There's nothing tying him to the woman except the time and location.

We need motive.

So we bring him in.

Elliot warmed him up for me, hoping that a woman would piss him off. I was already grilling him hard but he wasn't breaking. "Really? You expect me to believe that you had the itching for a slurpee at three am in the morning?" I question, the disbelief in my voice.

There was a convenience store right next to where the woman was found. He covered his bases. "I told you, Detective, I went to the store for a pack of smokes. I was out and itching for one. You know how it is," He says as he reaches into his pocket withdrawing a small white box.

"That store is a thirty minute drive from your apartment. Want to explain that?" I question as I watch him, waiting for him to squirm but he doesn't.

"Well, the owner's a buddy of mine. Omari, why don't you go drop by and ask him about me? He'll tell you that I swung by. Hell, I bet I'm on the video footage there! He's a good guy so I like to swing by and say hi."

I chew on my lip. "Where were you Wednesday from two am to four am?"

"What? Probably sleeping. I only get a smoke when I'm out." He shrugs as he glances around as if he was honestly innocent, wondering why he was in this room. He was guilty. I could tell.

"So why did your license plate pop up on a camera outside a bank, huh?" His eyes flash to mine, a small bead of sweat forming on his brow. There we go…

"I—I have no idea what you're talking about. It's not even my car, I have my own. I borrowed my mom's car yesterday because mine was in for an oil change. Why don't you ask her about that? I know she likes to let her nephew use it. He's kind of a nut job, you know. Does a lot of drugs."

"Well then I'm sure you'd gladly give us his name and address, right?"

He glances around and then to his watch. "Sure, sure, look I gotta go. I have work in thirty minutes so unless you have any more questions, Detective…"

I frown as I place both of my hands on the table, staring him down. We have nothing to hold him on but I don't want to let him out of my sight. There's a knock on the window glass and I know my time is up. I straighten up and look down at him. "Yeah. Leave your cousin's info with my partner on the way out, okay?"

He nods in response as he gets up and exits the room. I follow him out, almost running into him when he stops abruptly, looking to the right. I follow his gaze and then my heart plummets into the depths of my stomach, that familiar churning picking up as I meet bright blue eyes.

He takes a couple steps forward as Elliot guides him toward a table so that he can give us the information that we asked for but he never takes his eyes off of Alex.

I step in front of him, my hands clenching, ready to strike him. Once his view is obstructed, his eyes flash to mine.

A slow smirk forms on his lips before he licks them.

I bite my lip as my nails dig into my palms no doubt leaving a mark.

When he finally looks away in an attempt to pay attention to Elliot, I waste no time in rushing over to Alex before pulling her roughly into the nearest room.

"Whoa, Liv, what—"

"What the hell are you doing here?" I demand as I yank her away from the door and closer to me.

She looks surprised, caught off guard. "Elliot called me." I'm going to kill him. "He said you had a suspect. I think the better question is why didn't you call me? I asked you to call me so that I could observe."

"Because I didn't want you here!" I yell at her, surprised by my anger. I cover my mouth and shake my head. "If he's the rapist, Alex…He saw you…"

"What does that have to do with anything?" She questions and I wonder if she's honestly that oblivious.

"Like you don't know what it means! Alex, you're exactly his type! You're blonde with blue eyes and you're the same height and weight and you're well off and you don't have a husband or any children…"

"And I have a girlfriend and I'm a lawyer and wear glasses and I like jogging in Central Park." I look at her in confusion. "I don't have any of that in common with any of the victims, Olivia. There are thousands, probably close to a million women who look like me in the state of New York. You have tunnel vision."

"I—I can't help it, Alex. You're exactly his type and he _saw_ you. Did you see the way he looked at you? He smirked at me. He saw you and he couldn't keep his eyes off of you and he smirked at me!"

"And he smirked at you when you said he could leave the interrogation room. And he stared at you during the interrogation. You're just as likely to be his next victim as I am."

"Except I don't look like _you_! I don't look like all those women! If he's the rapist, Alex, oh god," I mumble as I turn away from her, running my hands over my face. "I'll never forgive myself if I let anything happen to you."

A hand on my shoulder causes me to turn back to her slowly. "If anything happened to me it wouldn't be your fault, Liv, but nothing _is_ going to happen to me. I promise you that."

I shake my head. "You can't promise that," I whisper, looking into her eyes as I will myself not to break down right there and then, telling her how much she means to me.

 _You're my world._

"Yes I can, Liv, because you drive me to and from work every day. You always spend the night with your gun mere inches from your hand and don't think I didn't notice. Why do you think I always tell you that everything is going to be okay when you wake up in the middle of the night from a nightmare? You call out my name you know. You beg whoever it is that you're seeing not to touch me."

She takes a step closer to me and presses both of her palms against my cheeks, cupping my face.

"You beg and plead and offer up yourself instead," She whispers, causing me to stiffen in response to her words. I didn't think I spoke anything more than her name during the nightmares. What else had she heard?

Did she hear all the times I whispered 'I love you' when I couldn't save her in time?

"Whatever this thing—this fear is, it's irrational. Nothing is going to happen to me because you'll always be there to protect me and I trust you with my life."

But I don't trust myself with your life…

"Whatever it is that's keeping you up at night, just let it go," She says softly as she runs her thumbs across my cheeks tenderly. "Whatever you're fearing, let it go. Take a deep breath and just let. It. Go. _Please_. I can't stand to watch you suffering every night because of me."

"It's not—"

"Don't," She interrupts gently as she pulls me closer to her and kisses me chastely on the lips. "Don't tell me that this has nothing to do with me because you haven't so much as touched me in the last three days. Maybe the case has been getting to you and I'd understand if you don't feel right touching me after hearing what those women went through but you haven't even _kissed_ me, Liv."

She leans forward, kissing me chastely once more. "I miss your kisses. I miss you caressing me in the middle of the night when you think I'm fast asleep. I miss you nuzzling your head into my hair and sighing softly when morning rolls around. Now your arms are just stiff around my body and you jolt awake every time I move. You watch me like a hawk, as if you're just waiting for me to run from you.

"I won't ever run from you, Liv. No matter how bad you get during cases like these, I'm not going to run. Yes, it upsets me to see you so tense. And yes it drives me a little crazy that you haven't touched me in three days but I _understand_. I may not understand why you have this fear but I understand that it's real for you. I just wish that there was something that I could do to make you realize that I'm safe as long as I'm with you."

I avert my eyes, fearing her reaction to what I'm about to ask but if she understands like she says she does, she'll let it go. "Can you…we spend the night at the precinct tonight? In the crib? I have clothes in my locker that I can grab for you and there are blankets there so we can stay warm."

She's quiet as she looks up at me, her lips pursed. "Will that make you feel more at ease?"

"Yes," I reply honestly, looking down in embarrassment because I don't trust myself to keep her, my love, safe on my own.

"Then yes, we can spend the night here." I'm happy that she doesn't put up a fight even though it's obvious that she wants to.

When we lay down on one of the beds in the crib that night, she doesn't complain that she's in my oversized sweats and sweatshirt, claiming her body as the property of NYPD. She didn't say anything when I closed and locked the door, even though I could've claimed that I just wanted privacy when sharing a bed with her considering we weren't out yet.

And when she didn't say anything as she curled up against the rough fabric of my work shirt and slacks, I knew that she truly understood what I was feeling.

I tried to put my gun down onto the floor but I couldn't so it migrated back onto my hip since I didn't even bother taking off my belt.

I even tried to hold her tenderly tonight, knowing that she probably needed to be reassured just as much as I did but I couldn't.

And even though we were locked away up in the precinct with no windows for anyone to break into and a dozen police officers and detectives surrounding us, I still had the worst sleep of my life. She was right when she said I woke up every time she so much as flinched.

When the night dragged on and sleep eluded me, I finally gave in and watched her sleep. She looked relaxed, surprisingly enough, even when I squeezed her just a little too tightly every time I heard an unfamiliar sound coming from downstairs.

Sleep finally came. I think my body just shut down since I hadn't slept more than three hours a night for the past three, now four, days. If I had any say in it, I would force myself to stay awake but I knew I was dead on my feet. Even if an unarmed man tried to take Alex from me, I don't think I could've fought him off.

My mind was slow, barely processing anything and my body was just as exhausted. So when I woke up to a light weight across my chest and warm breath against my neck, I was surprised.

For the first time in three days, I don't have a death grip around Alex's waist. For the first time in three days, she is sleeping comfortably on top of my chest with our fingers intertwined and resting next to her shoulder.

And for the first time in three days, I press a kiss to her exposed forehead and smile.


	31. Chapter 31

It takes two more weeks and two more bodies before we finally catch the bastard. This time a random pedestrian was filming a video of himself and happened to catch a body dump in the background of the footage. This time we had facial ID.

And so we bring in the same guy who leered at Alex and I make sure she's nowhere in sight when we interrogate him. It takes a mere two minutes before he breaks, admitting to raping and killing a dozen women, the first of which was his ex-wife, the only body we had yet to identify because her teeth were kicked in and her fingertips burned.

"Her favorite number was thirteen, you know," He says as he continues scribbling down his confession on paper so that things will be easier on us all. "I was waiting for the perfect victim for number thirteen." He pauses and reaches for his pocket, causing Fin to catch his arm and smash it back down against the table. "My wallet is in my pocket."

Fin huffs in response before pulling him up and grabbing the wallet out of his pocket. He opens it up, searching for anything that might help the case or help him escape but finds nothing so he tosses it back down on the table.

He looks back up at Fin and grins before flipping through the contents. He flips it open on the table and slides it over to me. "She was beautiful, wasn't she?" I glance down at the picture of his wife, a very close resemblance to Alex. I notice the woman's black glasses and wide smile, my stomach suddenly churning.

"I wanted number thirteen to be just like her so I could torture her all over again for leaving me," He admits as he scribbles down some more before looking back up at me. "Now where is ADA Cabot?"

Before I have time to jump out of my seat and pummel him, Fin already has him against the table with his arm behind his back. "What's it to you?" He grumbles as he reaches for his cuffs, snapping them onto his wrists. His confession time is up.

"It'd be ironic, you know. To rape and murder the woman who wants to give me the needle." He laughs to himself. "She reminds me so much of Amelia. That same drive and determination."

"Get him out of here," I murmur as I stand up, readying to leave before I do something that'll cause me to lose my shield.

"Where are you going Detective Benson? To see your girlfriend? Do say hello to Alexandra for me, won't you?"

"You son of a bitch," I growl out as I turn back to him, my fists clenching. "Was she going to be next? You stopped at number twelve. You wanted her?"

He grins like a Cheshire cat and it makes me sick. "I wasn't about to get myself shot considering you were holding her close every night." Fin looks up at me, a confused look on his face before realization dawns on him.

"Come on," Fin growls out as he shoves him forward and out the door for holding.

I stay there for a few seconds, gaining my composure before I exit the interrogation room, ignoring Elliot and Cragen's eyes. When I turn the corner, I catch sight of who I'm looking for and immediately pull her to the side.

"He wanted you. I told you wanted you, Alex. Oh god."

She doesn't seem upset at all by my sudden movement to pull her to the side. Rather, she seems calm and not disturbed in the slightest. "And he didn't make a move because you were with me every night. So you kept me safe like you promised."

I freeze.

"I know you heard him in there, Liv. You were hanging onto every word that came out of his mouth. He wasn't going to risk getting shot because you were with me every night. So you protected me." When I don't say anything, she pulls me close and kisses me on the lips, no longer as lightly as she has been for the past two weeks.

And I finally allow myself to kiss her back. My hands wrap around her back, pulling her closer to me as I take a step back until she's pressed up against the nearest wall. God I've missed this.

I've missed her.

So I kiss her with everything I have, not caring that we're still in the precinct. Her lips feel so soft, so smooth against mine. Her taste is just as intoxicating as the first time. I let her scent overcome me as I finally pull away from the kiss, instead resting my forehead against the wall above her shoulder.

She sighs softly in response, one of her hands clinging to my back while the other runs through my hair in a soothing fashion. "I missed that," She whispers and I can _hear_ her smiling. "I missed that side of you that can't resist letting this get a little bit out of control because you want me that much."

I grin as I look up at her. "Every time I see you, I want you more than the last time." She smiles as she leans in for another kiss.

"Counselor." We both stop right before our lips can touch once more but I don't pull away from her because that voice isn't one of distaste. I turn to look at Cragen, an amused look on his face. "From what I heard in there and just saw, you better talk to Donnelly. And Benson, I need to see you in my office as well."

Alex doesn't seem upset in the slightest as she gently guides me away from her so that she's no longer pinned up against the wall. "I've already spoken to her Don," She replies calmly as she straightens out her skirt.

"What?" She looks at me with a sheepish grin.

"I—I know we haven't been dating very long…"

"And that's my cue to leave," Cragen says as he walks away, leaving us alone once more.

"Almost six weeks," I fill in, encouraging her to continue.

"Yes, and well I decided to ask Donnelly about the policy for dating an officer in my unit. Of course, she's all-knowing and told me that me—and I quote—'You can date Detective Benson but the moment I hear strange sounds coming from your office, I will call the police on you two so don't tempt me.'"

I grin in response as I shake my head. "So I guess office sex is out of the question."

"Well, not necessarily," She whispers as she moves her lips closer to my ear. "We'll just have to be _really_ quiet. You might have to gag me."

I groan in response, my hands migrating to her hips and tightening there. "You can't just say stuff like that to me in the middle of a work day, Alex."

She smirks in response, pecking my lips. "Well then I guess it's a good thing you're off because this case has officially been passed on to the DA's office and I've already arranged for another ADA to take over it since I'm a conflict of interest."

I'm taken aback by her response and I wonder if she did it for me. "Are you serious?"

"Yes," She replies simply as she wraps her arms around my shoulders and pulls me closer. "I know how much this case has been killing you inside so I asked Donnelly to transfer it over to another ADA on the grounds that I would be too empathetic with the victims since I saw myself as one as well. She didn't argue with me."

"But you said you didn't see yourself that way?"

"But you did and that was enough for me."

"You're amazing, you know that?" I ask, pressing my lips against hers before she can respond. She moans into the kiss before pulling back, much too soon for my liking.

"Why don't we take this home since Cragen gave you all the rest of the day off?" I raise an eyebrow and she laughs at me. "You were too busy glaring at the suspect to hear him."

"Oh I fully intend to take you home…but first I need to have a word with Cragen," I tell her as I glance over at his door, wondering what's in store for me. She nods and offers me up a reassuring smile as I release my hold on her and head toward Cragen's office.

"Captain," I call out, alerting him of my presence even though he's expecting me.

"Close the door please." I shut the door behind me and walk up to his desk, shifting my weight from foot to foot. "So you and Alex, huh?"

"Uh, yeah," I start off, unsure as to whether he's upset or not. He doesn't seem irritated with the fact that I'm dating a woman although I'm sure he's aware of my preferences to some extent because really, I was never really _that_ good at keeping it under wraps. I didn't want to hide it either. "It's relatively new, Cap. I wasn't just trying to keep it from you or anything."

He looks up at me for a moment with a stern look on his face before a small smile appears on his tired face. He's probably just as exhausted as we all are. "Who and what my detectives do behind closed doors is none of my business and it's even less so now that I know Alex has already inquired about the policy of dating within the unit."

"But…" I say, waiting for that one word.

"But what happened on this case…it can't happen again, Olivia." I frown, even though I know exactly what he's talking about. "You let it get to you because of her. Elliot may have been oblivious but I sure as hell wasn't. I saw the way your hands clenched when he was anywhere near Alex. I saw how close you were to punching him and trust me, I was too but the difference is I'd never act on it.

"You've already punched Elliot out, I don't need a lawsuit on my hands because you decided to punch some pervert who looked at Alex the wrong way. That wasn't the first time she's been leered at and unfortunately it won't be the last. I'd rather not have one of my best detectives suspended and investigated by IAB. Are we clear?"

"Yes, sir."

"Good, now get out of here and take the next three days off." I'm about to open my mouth to complain but he cuts me off. "Anyone ever tell you not to look a gift horse in the mouth?" I grin in response before turning toward the door.

"Thanks Cap." When I return to the squad room, Alex is at my desk with my jacket in hand. "You ready to go?"

"Mhm. Take me home." This time, instead of walking behind her, I walk next to her, grabbing onto her hand and intertwining our fingers as we walk toward the exit. For a moment I hope that Elliot will see and finally understand why she means so much to me.

But on second thought, I have nothing to prove to him.

* * *

 **A/N: And that's a wrap to the case! See, I said it wouldn't be that bad, I just wanted to explore their feelings for each other in a bit more depth and a case provided that. From here on out I'll be doing a bit of time jumps to show the most significant events in their relationship but I'll make it clear. Thanks to all of you who are still reading and reviewing!**


	32. Chapter 32

It's three weeks later when we're lying in bed together and her finger is tracing random patterns across my abdomen that she asks me a question I never expected. We had just finished a make out session, something that I always thought was juvenile but with her it always seemed so sensual.

We still hadn't gone any further than touching under shirts and kissing most of each other's bodies but neither of us seemed to mind. We agreed that when it happened, it would happen even though both of us were itching for a roll in the hay.

I think the wait made it seem all the more romantic. Or maybe it drove our sexual tension up the wall so when it really happened, it'd be the best damn release either of us would ever have.

Her fingers gliding across my lips pull me back to reality. She's leaning up on one arm, looking down at me with a content smile on her face.

"Do you look like your mother?" Her words catch me off guard as just seconds ago she was running her fingers across my lips. They're still there, now on my cheek so that I can speak. "I mean, I was wondering if you looked like her. I don't look anything like my mother."

I pull away from her.

When I roll onto my back, I hear her breath catch in her throat. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to upset you." But I'm not upset. I'm a whirlwind of feelings but I can't say I'm upset. My mind goes back to that dark place I never wanted to revisit. I still can't ride on a subway because it reminds me of her. My heart still skips a beat every time Cragen calls me into his office even though I know it's irrational. I have no family anymore, no one else to lose.

"I—" I pull the covers up to my chest and stare up at the ceiling. This is it. I wonder if she's going to pull away from me. Is she going to get up and run? Tell me that she can't be with me anymore? All my insecurities rush back to me as my voice comes out unsteady. "I'd like to think so." The next sentence out of my mouth is barely a whisper and I can already feel the sting at the corner of my eyes. "But she always thought I looked like my father."

She's quiet, trying to comprehend what's going on. I don't blame her for being confused. "You never talk about your family." It's a question, not a statement. She's unsure of what to say.

"My mom is dead and I never met my father."

"Oh Liv, I'm so sorry," She whispers as she moves closer to me, shifting herself so that she's leaning over me slightly and looking down into my eyes once more. "I didn't mean to bring that up."

"You didn't know," I tell her as I close my eyes. She deserves to know. No, she needs to know. She needs to know who she shares a bed with at night. She needs to know what kind of monster I could—

"You're beautiful." Her words catch me off guard and my heart flutters for a second. I can't remember the last time someone told me that they thought I was beautiful and sounded so sincere. My heart thumps loudly in my chest.

She almost made me forget about my past. She almost made me forget about him. So close. "It wasn't a one night stand," I rush out, knowing that if I don't spit it all out at once, I would lose my nerve. I was more afraid of losing her than anything. Would she pull away? Run? Question every intimate touch between us? Leave me? My heart beats faster as my throat grows dry.

I lick my lips and close my eyes once more. I can't look her in the eye. "She was walking home late one night after work. She never saw him until he grabbed her. And then nine months later…I was born." The room is quiet, eerily so.

She doesn't say anything.

I can feel my heart beating out of chest now, the only sound filling the otherwise quiet room. I want to run. I want to give her an escape and run. But I don't.

"You're beautiful." I can hear her words echo from earlier and I sweat it's just that, an echo. But the breeze across my lips followed by her soft ones pressing against mine tell me it isn't.

Her thumb stokes my cheek, swiping up where she knows a single tear will be. And she wipes it away without saying a word. She pours every ounce of emotion into the kiss and my heart finally stops beating out of my chest. Instead, it flutters and soars right out of my body like an eagle set free.

I feel so high as she kisses me, as if I took some sort of substance. But I've come to learn that's simply her. Touching her, feeling her, smelling her, it was all enough to make me feel like I was floating on air.

And I finally kiss back, my hands coming up to tangle into my favorite long blonde locks. I pull her closer and she doesn't resist like I initially feared. She presses her body completely against mine without any hesitation.

"Beautiful," She murmurs against my lips and it's so muted that the word is almost indistinguishable but I know her. I know just what she wants to say to me. "I'm so sorry that happened to her," She whispers once she finally pulls away. She's tracing my lips with her fingers now, her eyes glued on them. "But I'm so happy I have you." She finally looks up, her eyes locking onto mine. "You know that, right?"

My voice is too weak. I don't trust it not to crack the moment I try to say yes.

So instead I just nod.

And she understands. She doesn't push the conversation any further and I'm grateful. She lies down next to me and tugs on my arm, pulling me next to her. "Come on," She whispers and I oblige, rolling over until my body is pressed up against hers. I settle my head atop her chest until I can hear her heart beating strongly. Her fingers lazily run through my hair and my eyes close involuntarily in response.

Sometimes I wonder if she's trying to break down the brick wall I built around my heart far too long ago.

* * *

 **A/N: A shorter chapter but I figured since I addressed Alex's parents I needed to address Olivia's. Things will go back to light-hearted and fun next chapter! And soon enough they'll finally break all that sexual tension.**


	33. Chapter 33

I love her.

I know that much now. Three months of dating… Some might say we are moving too slowly. Others might say we are moving too quickly. I think we're moving at the perfect pace. The expectation of sex within the first couple of months quickly diminished with every innocent sleepover that we had.

Sometimes we would be perfect and just cuddle up close in our pajamas. Other times things would get heated between the sheets and we'd find ourselves missing the majority of our clothing but it never went any further than heavy petting with under garments still on.

I still hadn't seen her naked and I didn't really care. I mean, of course I _wanted_ to see her flawless body without any barriers but it wasn't my top priority.

Loving her was.

And either way, we were both content with how things were going. I think somewhere along the way Elliot figured it out but he never called me out on it. He stopped talking down to Alex and he stopped making comments to me about her sexuality. For a while I kept waiting for him to spout some religious crap about how I was going to go to hell for my relationship with Alex but it never came. So eventually I stopped waiting for it.

He never asked and I never told. As long as he still had my back when we raided a house or chased a perp down the street, we wouldn't have a problem. The moment he didn't have my back would be the moment I requested a new partner. That much I knew.

"Liv, grab two eggs." I smile as I'm drawn back to reality, my gaze returning to Alex who is barefoot in a pair of white shorts and one of my long blue button down shirts. We had only managed to crawl out of bed two hours prior despite it being past ten in the morning. Normally I wouldn't sleep in but she made is so appealing especially when she'd pull me close and slip one of her hands underneath my shirt. The memories rush back to me.

 _"_ _Mmm, as much as I love this, it's past nine, Alex," I murmur as I bury my nose into her blonde locks, inhaling her sweet scent._

 _"_ _It's Saturday. It can be a lazy Saturday." Her hand slips away from my back and instead lands on my stomach, sliding underneath my shirt. "Ten more minutes." And when her hand slides across my bare skin, skirting over my abs and toward my ribs, I'm helpless to resist._

 _"_ _Ten more minutes."_

 _"_ _Maybe twenty," She replies, her head tipping forward just enough to place a kiss at the hollow of my throat._

 _"_ _Alex…"_

 _"_ _Fifteen?" I can hear the smile in her voice as her lips migrate up to my neck, placing a soft kiss there. "Fifteen more minutes. And then we can have a lazy morning and make breakfast together."_

 _"_ _Fine," I oblige, as if it was oh so hard for me to remain in bed with her, our legs tangled together with her lips doing wonderful things to my body. "But we have to at least do one productive thing today."_

 _"_ _Maybe later this afternoon we can bake cookies."_

 _"_ _Cookies?" I question, slightly surprised that Alex wanted to do anything that required cooking, baking especially. While she could manage her way around the kitchen for the most part, she still certainly wasn't an expert. I still tease her about catching her stove on fire sometimes._

 _"_ _Chocolate chip," She replies resolutely._

 _"_ _Alright, chocolate chip cookies."_

She made doing anything productive hard sometimes.

I shake my head, trying to rid myself of the memories of her hand skirting over my abdomen. I walk over to the fridge and pull out the eggs as requested, bringing them back over to her. "Do you want to crack them in? I don't want shells in them."

"I thought I taught you how to crack an egg two weeks ago?" I tease as I crack it on the side of her counter and plop the insides into the bowl before tossing the remainder into her open trash.

"You did…and you are such a wonderful teacher…but I don't trust myself." She laughs softly at herself as I crack the last egg, pressing a kiss to her temple and I plop it into the mixing bowl. "Now go wash your hands before you touch me," She teases as she side steps my attempt to touch her.

"Ugh," I pretend to groan as I wash my hands before returning next to her as she stirs the eggs into the buttery sugar mixture. "There, nice and clean." I settle my body behind hers, my chin resting on her shoulder as I watch her mix up the batter. My hands find their way to her hips and I rock her slowly side to side, my lower half following her movements as I press her front against the kitchen counter.

She hums softly in response as her stirring hand stills, the wooden spoon clunking against the plastic bowl as she tips her head to the side until it's against mine. "Don't you have an electric mixer or something? This is going to take forever."

"It certainly will if you keep that up," She warns as I smile widely, my lips seeking out her warm neck.

"Do what?" I ask innocently as I press a chaste kiss against the column of her throat before sliding up just underneath her ear.

"You know what, Benson. Don't play naïve."

"You might have to spell it out for me darling…" Another kiss is pressed right beneath her ear before I suck gently, causing her to moan softly in response. My lips migrate back down her neck, lining it with kisses.

Before I have the chance to mark her neck in a place far too high for a shirt to cover, I feel something hit my face and I pull back immediately in surprise. "That," She states, as I blink a couple of times, my hand coming up to my face to wipe away the dots of flour now lining my cheeks and nose.

"Hey!" I whine as I glance down at my shirt which also has spots of flour on it before focusing on her white fingertips. She's grinning.

"You were distracting me."

"And that's the kind of response I get? I was trying to show you how much I l—" _Too soon._ "—want you."

"And I…" She turns around so that she's facing me, her arms migrating up until they're wrapped around my neck. "Want…" She leans closer to me, her eyes darkening as she tilts her head to the side, her face moving closer to mine as her eyes flutter shut. Instead of a kiss, however, I feel her warm breath against my ear. "Chocolate chip cookies."

I groan as she gives me a quick peck on the cheek before pulling back. "Now stop distracting me and help. The sooner this is over the sooner we can be eating warm gooey cookies and snuggling on the couch."

"You drive a hard bargain, Counselor," I tell her as I return my attention to the cookie dough.

Once she's done stirring the wet ingredients together, I start scooping some of the flour into it. Of course, I add too much and when she tries to stir it, the flour poofs up and hits me again. "Hey, watch it!" I tease as I nudge her before trying to wipe the flour off of me.

"You're the one who added too much." She's grinning as she stirs it once more, another poof of white hitting me.

"Alex!" This time she's in for it. I reach my hand into the white powder and throw a small handful at her, causing her to shriek as she pulls back.

"Liv! You're getting it all over me!"

"Yeah, well, about time you got some on you!" She starts laughing as she wipes it away from her eyes, a glint sparking in them as the corner of her lips turn up. "Don't…"

She quickly grabs a handful of the flour and I waste no time in bending down and lunging at her. I grab onto her waist before she can throw it at me, hoisting her into the air and over my shoulder. "Liv! Let me down!" She cries out as she tries to steady herself so that she won't fall even though I'm holding her tightly.

"Not until you throw the flour away!" Suddenly I feel the powder sliding down my head and over my face. "Alex!"

"You told me to throw it," She teases as one of her hands ruffles up my hair, causing more white dust to fly down around me.

"Oh you're in for it now."

"No!" She cries out as I reach my hand into the flour bowl once more. Somehow she manages to squirm out of my arms and hits my hand away, causing flour to hit me in the face once more. "That's what you get!"

"Oh you're about to get it!" This time, I dip my hand into the cookie dough, coming back with a good chunk of the gooey substance as her eyes go wide. She immediately sprints left, trying to escape the kitchen, sliding for a second on a spot of flour.

I use her momentary slip to catch up with her. She quickly runs past me and heads for the living room. "No!" She screams as she dodges my arm once but not the second time. My arm catches her along her waist and I pull her back to my body, picking her up off of the ground as she kicks her legs out. "No, Liv, please!"

"It's too late now." I carry her over to the couch even though she's fighting me, her hands gripping onto my arm as I drag her to the couch. Finally, I toss her down, immediately straddling her waist so that she can't escape.

"Liv! No!" I grin as she tries to squirm out from under me but it's futile. Once she looks up at me, I swipe my sticky fingers across her face, transferring the cookie dough onto her. "Liv!"

"Shouldn't have thrown flour at me!" We both start laughing, our bodies sinking into the couch. "Making cookies was the best idea you've ever had, Alex."

She grins from beneath me, scrunching up her face as the cookie dough squishes against her cheek. "You're such a pain sometimes, you know that Benson?" She teases as she reaches up and wipes a segment of the dough off of her cheek. "Gosh, you got it all over me!"

"Well then I guess it's only fair I help you get it off," I say innocently as I grab onto her wrist and immediately take her sticky fingers into my mouth. I suck off the cookie dough as I watch the smile drop from her face and her eyes turn a darker shade of blue.

"Salmonella…" She mutters, her eyes never leaving mine. I merely grin as I swipe some more off of her cheek and smear it across her lips this times. She doesn't say anything as I lower my face and cover her mouth with mine, smearing the gooey substance between the both of us.

I kiss her deeply, opening my mouth to her immediately as I suck her bottom lip into my mouth, licking off every millimeter of cookie dough. She moans in response, finally reacting to the kiss and probing her tongue into my mouth until she too can taste the cookie dough.

Her hands find their way into my hair and I can feel some more powder sliding down my face and onto her as her fingers weave into my locks but I don't care. My lips migrate to the side of her mouth and then to her cheek, picking up the few remaining smears of cookie dough on her skin.

Reluctantly, I pull back, grinning as I look down at the beauty in front of me. Her pupils are dilated, cheeks flushed, breathing ragged. She's aroused, that much is clear. Over the past few months, I've come to realize that certain look she gets on her face when she's sexually aroused.

More recently, that look has been crossing her face almost every other day and I can't help but wonder if she's as sexually frustrated as I am at times. We practically spend the night together every night unless there's a particularly daunting case that requires me to pull double shifts. Even then, she'll sneak into the precinct in the middle of the night and bring me dinner along with a few stolen kisses in the crib.

"We should probably go finish making those cookies," I suggest as I slowly lift my body off of hers, giving her plenty of time to pull me back if she really wants to.

"Chocolate…" She mutters, closing her eyes for a second before looking back up at me. "They still need chocolate chips." I can tell she's trying to distract herself, anything to pull her attention away from the throbbing between her legs.

I feel the same way.

"And probably a bit more flour," I reply as she grins.

"And flour." I reach out a hand, pulling her up off of the couch. She shakes her head and dusts the flour off of her face before looking at my head. She runs her hand through my hair, ruffling my locks up once more until all the flour is gone. "Baking soda. Baking soda and salt."

"And chocolate?" I tease, wondering how long she'll be reciting ingredients before she's back to normal.

"Chocolate," She confirms as her still hazy eyes migrate toward the kitchen. "Beer."

I laugh as she walks toward the kitchen. "You don't add beer to cookies, Alex."

She pauses for a moment as her hand wraps around the handle of the kitchen door. "What?" She opens up the fridge and pulls a bottle out. "Oh, the beer is for me." I grin as I shake my head at her.

"Uh-uh, Cabot. It's only noon which means no alcohol for you." I remove the bottle from her hand, wondering if she's even conscious of her actions right now. Her eyes are still glazed over.

"Noon…Three-fifty." My eyebrows furrow in confusion. "The oven needs to be set at three-fifty."

I chuckle as I walk over to her, wrapping my arms around her waist. "Hello, is my brilliant ADA girlfriend somewhere in there?" I tease as I dip down my head and look into her eyes. "You're talking like you're drunk, sweetie."

She finally smiles as she blinks away that confused look in her eyes. "You think I'm brilliant?" Instead of responding, I kiss her softly on the lips.

"Now, I believe you promised me cookies, darling."


	34. Chapter 34

**A/N: Sorry for the delay, all I can say is life happened. Hopefully you'll all forgive me since this is what you've been waiting for! I don't know when I'll be able to post next...or if I even want to post another chapter. This might just be the end of this story but I'm not sure. Thanks for reading.**

* * *

"Alexandra, darling don't you look marvelous! You're still far too thin for my liking." My palms are sweating and my heart is racing when I hear the voice echo through Alex's hallway and to the bedroom.

"Hi Mother," Alex says softly, probably hugging her right about now.

"I was so surprised when you told me you wanted to have dinner with me. So where are we going? Lucci's, Grand's? Surely you made reservations somewhere nice." I wince at her words. Can she not smell the food that I had been slaving over all afternoon? I learned how to make bruschetta and shrimp scampi for her.

"No, I thought we'd stay in tonight and eat here."

"Oh Alexandra, take out, really?" There's a pause, probably for Alex to gesture to the plates set out with the salad bowl on the table awaiting guests. "But you don't cook…"

"But Olivia does," Alex counters. That's my cue. I rub my palms over my jeans, hoping to transfer off the majority of my sweat before meeting Alex's mom once more. She certainly isn't as intimidating as Alex's dad but she still is rather interesting to deal with.

"Good evening Mrs. Cabot," I say as confidently as I can as I walk into the kitchen. She looks me up and down, obviously taking in my 'nicer' clothes, a pair of dark blue jeans and a dark red sweater.

"I believe we're on a first name basis by now, Olivia." She smiles at me, surprisingly enough and I hold out my hand to shake hers only to be pulled into a hug.

"Caroline," I say politely as I pull out of the hug and smile back at her. "Hopefully you're fold of Italian."

"Olivia spent all day learning how to make your favorite bruschetta, Mother. I helped her track down the recipe. She also made shrimp scampi for the main course," Alex explains as she points to the table where we all finally sit down, Alex next to me and her mother across from us.

"Well isn't this a nice surprise. Thank you for cooking Olivia, I look forward to trying everything." Alex dishes up some salad on each plate before passing around some balsamic vinaigrette.

We eat for a bit, immediately demolishing the bruschetta before moving on to the main course. We're about halfway through before Caroline finally brings up the question that I've been dreading. "So what exactly is the reason for this meal, Alexandra? I was surprised when you invited your father and me over but of course he couldn't make it."

Alex scoffs, probably because she knows that he didn't want to have anything to do with her. She had invited both of them out of courtesy but really only expected her mother to come. "I'm sure he had something much more important to tend to than a meal with his daughter."

"Oh Alexandra, don't be like that, you know how hard he works," Caroline scolds before turning to me. Shit. I wasn't prepared for this. "Do you want to explain why you spent all this time cooking a meal for me and why you're here?"

"Mother!" Alex interrupts, even though there was no distaste in Caroline's voice.

"What?" She questions as she turns back to Alex. "Do you honestly think me a fool, Alexandra? What exactly is going on here?"

Okay, go time, suck it up… "Caroline, we invited you over because we wanted to talk to you about our relationship." I pause, only to feel Alex's hand press against the top of mine, reassuring me. "Alex and I have been in a relationship for the past five months."

Caroline purses her lips, looking over at Alex. "What kind of relationship? A sexual one?" Yes, no, yes, how the hell do I answer that?

"We've been dating for the past five months, Mother. That is why I wanted you and father to come over for dinner because unlike him, I don't want to keep secrets from the family. Olivia makes me happier than I've ever been in my entire life and these last few months have been remarkable with her. I love her and this is who I am."

Wait, did Alex just say she was in love with me? Alex stops for just a second, taking in her mother's silence. "I just wish you'd accept me for that."

Sharp blue eyes turn to me. "And what do you have to say for yourself?"

I swallow hard. "Alex is…" I can't think of the appropriate words to describe her, so instead I grab onto her hands and hold them in mine. "Your daughter means the world to me. I never thought I could find a relationship and truly be happy sharing my life with someone else but she changed that. She changed that the day I tackled her in Central Park."

Caroline seems to be confused for a moment but a glance toward Alex tells me she knows exactly what I'm talking about. "I love her, Caroline, and someday I would love to take a plunge with her and make her my wife but I know you and Alexander mean a lot to her. So I want you to be aware of our relationship and understand that this isn't just something temporary. I love Alex and she's it for me and I think I can confidently say she feels the same way." I glance over at Alex and she smiles back at me, giving my hand a reassuring squeeze.

"I do," Alex whispers quietly before looking back at her mother. "I'm not asking for you to openly support us, Mother, I'm just asking for you to accept this, _us._ I want to be able to have family dinners without my parents being at my throat about my life choices."

Caroline studies her daughter for a few more seconds before turning back to me and doing the same. I'm about ready to politely ask her to leave Alex's apartment when she opens up her mouth. "While I may never fully understand the reasons for such a relationship, that doesn't mean I won't accept it. I love you, Alexandra, and I know I don't tell you that enough, darling. You're my baby girl and you will always stay that way even if someday you run off with Olivia and marry her."

I can hear Alex sigh in relief as her mother continues. "I can't say I'm completely okay with this because I'm not familiar with such relationships but I will try my best to understand your affections for another woman. I can't speak for your father though."

"I know," Alex agrees as she glances over at me, offering up a small smile in satisfaction that she was accepted by her mother in some form. I have to admit, it's a weight off of my chest as well, knowing that there's one less person out to wreck what we have.

"I should probably be going now darling but I'll call you tomorrow. Maybe we can try to have you two over for dinner in the following week." Caroline stands up, glancing at me and offering up a smile. "Thank you very much for dinner, Olivia. I look forward to seeing you in the future as long as you continue putting that smile on my daughter's face."

It takes about twenty more minutes before Caroline actually leaves, kissing her daughter goodbye and surprisingly enough, hugging me. We agreed that we'd try to come over for dinner at some point to see about disclosing our relationship to Alexander but I figured getting Caroline's approval would be as much as I could get and I'd take it.

When Alex finally shuts the door behind her mother and turns back to me, there's an unfamiliar look in her eyes. I smile at her, hoping that she'll reciprocate it since this was a big step for her. Instead, her eyes narrow and her lips curl up into some sort of a smirk before her hands grab onto my shoulders and she pulls me close.

I'm taken aback when our bodies clash together and our lips lock onto each other's. I moan into her mouth, satisfied that she was happy with the outcome of dinner. As I try to guide her back to the door for support, she pushes me away, instead leading me backwards.

We stumble backwards, toward the general direction of her bedroom, as Alex takes off her shirt, tossing it on the back of the couch carelessly. "You said you love me," Alex states as she pushes me through her doorway and toward the bed.

In a split second decision, I turn her around so that she's at the foot of the bed before we both collapse onto the mattress. "I do," I confirm as she slides up onto the mattress and pulls me closer to her, my body completely covering hers.

"And you want to marry me." She grabs onto my sweater, pulling it over my head.

"Someday, yes." Her smile grows as her hands tangle into my hair, guiding my lips to hers. I take my time exploring her mouth, much like how we always do when we're in the heat of passion but this time she reaches for my jeans.

I don't question it as she unhooks my jeans and pushes them down my thighs, her hands then migrating up to me rear and cupping it, pulling me impossibly closer to her. I groan against her mouth, breaking the kiss in order to give myself a chance to catch my breath. "Don't tell me you're already exhausted."

I laugh as I turn my face back to hers, grinning at the way her cheeks are covered in a light blush and her bare torso has a faint blush down her chest, dipping beneath her white bra. "I'll never be tired when it comes to loving you."

She rolls her eyes playfully before pulling me back in for a kiss. "You know just what to say…Such a romantic," She mumbles out between kisses, her lips now migrating down to my neck. "I love you…god, I love you…I love the way you touch me…kiss me…want me…"

"The way I kiss you?" I parrot as I slide myself a few inches lower on her body, just enough to nuzzle against her neck and press an open mouth kiss there.

"Yes," She gasps out, hands tangling in my hair. "Everything you do turns me on." I grin as I scrape my teeth across her the skin pounding against her neck as blood rushes through her body. "That…just like that," She moans, her body twisting in pleasure.

I suck there, much like I've done before, only this time her hips rise up, pressing against me in a welcomed attempt to gain purchase. I pull away, just long enough to slips my hands behind her back and look up at her for permission. When she nods and arches up her back, I unsnap her bra and carefully pull it down her long arms before tossing it to the side.

"You're the most beautiful woman in the world," I murmur, the words leaving my mouth without much thought because to me, she is. I can't imagine ever wanting to be with anyone else. She's my world and I wouldn't have it any other way.

She laughs playfully as she looks up at me. "You're so full of it."

I shake my head as I press a kiss against her sternum while looking up at her. "I'm not." She's smiling at me and I swear everything slows down. "I wish I could make you smile like that more often. You're beautiful all the time, but when you smile like that, I swear my world stops."

She bites her lip, clearly trying to contain her smile that I want so desperately to see. "Shut up and kiss me," She whispers, shaking her head as she pulls me back up to her. I press my lips to hers and she tilts her head up, deepening the kiss. It's pure bliss, the way our tongues dance together in perfect sync, the way our lips meld together like they belong that way.

Her nimble fingers unhook my bra and I let it fall off before tossing it to the side as well. I find my way back down her body, intent on kissing every inch of smooth, pale skin. I do just that, teasing her unknowingly as I kiss everywhere but where she wants me.

When I glance up and see her head tossed back in ecstasy and feel her fingers twisting in my hair, I know this isn't going to be like our normal loving moments. I pay attention to her breasts, causing her to squirm underneath me, her hips rising against mine.

My hands find their way down her body, tugging at her jeans until they're unhooked much like mine. I slide down the bed, pausing as I pull them with me, finally causing blue eyes to flash open. "Can I…?"

"Yes." I slide her jeans down her legs, standing upright as I pull them completely off of her. While I'm still standing, I pull my own jeans down and kick them off of my ankles. I take the moment to admire her almost naked body before she beckons me back to her.

In no time, I'm back on top of her kissing her, tasting her, feeling her. She pushes me back unexpectedly and I lean up while she follows my lead so that we're upright, face to face. She stops moving, her hazy blue eyes finally opening as she traces one hand across my cheek and the other down my chest.

I position myself so that I'm leaning on my knees, watching as her hands play across my chest. Blue eyes flash up to mine, pupils dilated. "I love you, Liv."

I finally find my strength and place my hands on her hips, looking at her seriously. "I love you, too." Her hand slides lower down my chest before lingering around my underwear. A single finger dips into it and she looks up at me, waiting for permission.

I nod and she hooks her finger into it before slowly pulling down. I do the same to her until we're both completely naked, still leaning upright on the mattress. Our eyes latch onto one another again and she takes a deep breath.

"I wish I could give myself completely to you," She whispers as she runs a hand across my cheek, her fingers skimming over my hypersensitive skin. "I wish I could give you what I gave to someone else far too long ago…"

I shake my head, pressing a single finger against her lips. "You're giving me something that no one else ever had." She looks at me in confusion as I guide her backwards, laying her down on the mattress. "You're giving me your trust."

I kiss her softly, reveling in the love portrayed through the kiss. We stay that way for a few minutes, bodies pressed tight together, lips tangled in a sweet kiss. Hands begin to stray, touching and caressing every inch of exposed skin.

When my fingers finally encounter wet warmth, I look up at her once more before slowly slipping my fingers into her tight core. Her soft gasps and whispers of affection are my new favorite sound and her inner walls surrounding my fingers my new favorite feeling. I gasp as she carefully pushes two fingers into me and we both fall into an ancient rhythm, slowly bringing each other higher and higher as the minutes tick by.

Neither of us rush, instead we explore one another, kisses on cheeks, necks, and foreheads, caresses on backs, thighs, and necks. We explore each other's most intimate areas with gentle, testing touches, finding exactly what the other likes. The way her eyes roll back when I kiss just beneath her ear, how her breath hitches when I push my fingers forward against her front walls, the soft moans that rumble deep within her chest, the way her breasts feel against mine as she arches into my touch, they're all carefully being documented and stored for future reference.

We stay that way for what seems like hours before our caresses and touches start over with a renewed fervor, our end goal to give each other the pleasure that we're both craving. I want to hear her gasp, moan, cry, beg, and _need_ me as much as I need her. With our bodies and hands working in sync, we push each other over the edge and tumble into ecstasy with one another.

Her body has never felt so damn good against mine as she arches up, every inch of her torso pressing up against mine. There's no space between us as I come apart on top of her, dropping my weight onto her body and pinning her back against the mattress. Our lips tangle, muting the cries from both of us.

It takes minutes before we manage to catch our breath and move again, and even then I can barely slide off of her and she just manages to turn toward me. We lay there, breathing heavily together, watching one another intently as we come down from our highs.

"So that's what it's supposed to feel like," She whispers, her lips curling up into a smile as she reaches out for me with one hand, cupping my cheek and stroking the top of it with her thumb.

"Like what?" I can't help but ask. Somewhere not so deep down inside of me I want to know what it felt like for her all those times before. Did she react the same way to their touch as she did mine? Did she let out those soft gasps, whispering their name repeatedly like some mantra? Did she do that cute little thing where she bites her lip and looks so satisfied? Did her toes curl up against the bed sheets until she had no choice but to wrap her legs around their hips?

"Like being wrapped up tight in a blanket and held close by someone who loves you," She replies as she closes the few inches between our bodies and presses her naked body against my own. "Everything about being with you feels so right."

She's quiet for a few beats as she lays her head down on my chest, listening to my heartbeat slow down. "How can something that feels so right be wrong?" She whispers while my heart clenches in my chest. I don't say anything as I run my hands up and down her back slowly, trailing my fingers over her rapidly cooling skin.

With the flick of one arm, I toss the bed sheet over our bodies and pull it up around her back. I wrap my arms firmly around her lower back, holding her tight against me as our chests rise and fall in sync. "I love you," I murmur back, unsure whether or not she's still awake, "and that's all that matters."


End file.
